Near the end of Episode 8 of I love New York, Sister Patterson confronts Chance about abusing Tiffany at the dinner date they shared with Whiteboy. He denies it of course and nothing comes of it.

On Episode 9 during the dinner with Tango's mom, New York admits Chance has shouted at her, and Sister Patterson responds in a manner that suggests she's (Sister P) hearing her say it for the first time.
Well, that's enough for me to conclude Whiteboy told Sister Patterson. He's a snitch!

You've just had a Perry Mason moment...

Before I begin the recap of Episode 9, are there any Rome (HBO) fans on the website?
The sex scenes on that show make me wanna lick the tv or some shit like that...
Anyways.

The opening shot are of the men in their respective rooms; Tango is alone while the Stallionaire Brothers slept on adjoining beds. The mood is sombre because tonight's elimination is important.
Why? Because everyone knows the Final Two receive a trip; and you know you Americans don't go nowhere
(I threw in that double negative just for good measure)

Real seems down and though he warns, "I will turn into Cain and destroy Abel" he fixates on teaming up to eliminate Tango. But Tango's fixation is on winning and he repeats his leave-a-note trick and once again it works.
The note read:

I pray to God that you continue to play the right hand.
With true love,
Tango.

For some reason that inspires New York to "change clothes" and run over to Tango to sit on his lap. Her outfit is too short everywhere and I can see her boobs and vagina.
(I have HDTV, holla.)
(Hallelujah Holla Back)

Looking into his eyes she says, "ever since you left me in Palm Springs, I cannot get my mind off you. There is something about you that moves my soul"
(didn't she say that same shit to Whiteboy?)
Tango is blushing but becomes very serious when New York asks, "do you love me?"
"I love you", Tango replies.
(Isn't black love beautiful?)
( All love (even fake) is beautiful.)

***Scene ends***

"Good morning caballeros", Chamo says, before handing a note to Real.
The note says the moms are coming and mindful of LA traffic, they are making staggered appearances. Real's and Chance's mother is first and Tango's mom will visit the next day.
The news prompts Tango to exclaim, "that's big for me right now"
(Tango talks funny)

There is no time to waste however and the Stallionaire Brothers race upstairs to get dressed. Their shirts of choice are 'Stallionaire t-shirts' and as if they're reading our minds Chance apologizes...."I am not here like Trends handing out CD's"
(sure you aren't)

Moments later their mom arrives. Her name is Claudia; and as moms go; she's alright. She was probably a beautiful woman two decades ago...but not everyone ages like Rick Springfield and Tina Turner.
Her first impression of New York is perfect...."she is a beautiful lady that the guys are fighting for." And later describes New York as "absolutely gorgeous"
(laying it on a bit thick don't you think)
( No you, DJ Bucky Blends & Mr. New York think she is ...why can't their mom?)
The date with the mom is a visit to Temecula to play with horses, hence the reason Chamo addressed them as "caballeros"
(I know that word because I had a Cuban girlfriend who called me that -wink, wink)

On the ride there, Sister Patterson says, "he's kind of aggressive Chance is."
(she looks like Vader and talks like Yoda, hmmmn)
And Claudia agrees. (Wtf?)

Encouraged by that, Sister Patterson asks, "what would Real provide for New York?"
"He's so compassionate and so spiritual", avers Claudia.
(is it normal for a mom to talk about her son like that?)

And she goes further to say he writes 4-page letters with rose petals
(how do you know that? I have a bad feeling about this)

Finally they arrive at the ranch and New York is understandably nervous given her previous encounter with a horse. But Real assures her it'll be alright and later Chance persuades her to touch the horse with an outstretched hand.

Seizing the moment Chance does a bit of showing-off with the horses, performing tricks that looked suspiciously like standing there doing not a damn thing. But what do I know.
The tricks upset Real who described him as a "son of a bitch"
(come on dude, not with your mother around)

And those very tricks, which still looked like not a damn thing to me, impressed New York who described it as "stroking" and went further to say, "the way Chance stroke those horses made me want to stroke something else."
( Was New York a cat in a past life? She is in heat 24/7 or am I crazy?)

It was time to eat though after the excitement of stroking horses and all that, so they gathered at the table to chow down. New York seem besotted by Chance as much as everyone else was disgusted by his antics.
Real too was embarrassed, and asked New York, "do you want children?"
"Three", she replied
"Do you want a twenty-something stepchild too", Real replied -referring to Chance
(wonders why I used that quote now that I've written it)

New York continues to ignore Real and overplays her obsession with Chance; it's almsot deliberate.
More than almost in fact, for she soon confesses, "I've never had two brothers fight for me before. I find it erotic"
(she really is a bitch isn't she?)
( She's a squandering b@tch!)

Chance and Real continue to go at it and the scene breaks to show Claudia saying, "I think Real is better for her"
(that ain't right. Mothers ought to be neutral, no?)
The fighting gets the better of Chance and he walks off to visit the horses because animals "calm him down".

As he (Chance) walks away, Real advises New York, "if you want Flavor Flav 2 then go on with him"
(She's already had Flavor Flav 2)

Alone together, Real confesses, "I don't want to have to fight for you. I'd rather back the hell out"
(Oh dear, don't these guys ever learn?)
"Then why the fuck did you come here", was New York's obvious reply.

Looking on at the couple (Real and New York) Sister Patterson remarks, "they would have beautiful children". And Claudia seems to agree!

***The VH1 Editors interrupt with their best guess of what their child would look like. It turns out to be a mini-Flavor Flav (too funny, that was)***

The date is winding up and Claudia inexplicably says "I would love New York to be my daughter-in-law. I Love her dearly"
(Wtf? That was quick. This woman is too nice to be true)


Before they leave, America's Next Top Mom has a conference with Real and Chance to let them know that their fighting will "really break my heart"
(come on now, is she acting?)
Claudia cries, and her tears and the melancholy overwhelm Chance who sheds a few himself.
She walks away, leaving the brothers to sort it out on their own. This they do thanks to a Churchillian speech from Real who preached something like "this is life, it's life. We are brothers, it's blood....nobody's gonna tear us apart"
(This from the fucker who says he'll turn Cain on your ass)

The brilliant speeches don't end there. New York says Chance's thug-card hasn't been pulled because of those tears because, "soldiers cry, dogs cry and doves cry (lmao). We cry, we all fucking cry"
(She is just fucking brilliant)
( Those eyelashes that look like Hoover vacuum brushes are brilliant.)

***Date ends***

The next day comes and the anticipation builds for Tango's mother's arrival; but Chamo mucks it up with the most ridiculous ensemble he's worn all season. His choice today was a purple blouse and tights (no lie)
Gay, transsexual or whatever; that shit was inappropriate.

Oddly enough, Tango's mom was nonchalant; which suggests the taping of that scene had many takes.
Preparing to meet his mother New York says Tango is more mature than Real or Chance, possibly because "turtles do live a lot longer than humans"
(lmfao)

Eventually New York meets Tango's mom and her first impression is not a good one..."she's a little on the plus-size."

Their date takes them to tango lessons because, Tango's name is Tango, I guess; and some fool at VH1 thought that was clever.
We learn however, that Tango's mom was a professional dancer and for that reason he was so named -Tango.
This date is as boring as yesterdays but Tango is being a good son, paying lots of attention to his mother.
(Err, Tango; remember what happened the last time you ignored New York?)

I'll answer for you...'she got upset', and she was just as upset today and told us about it, "I am pissed off because Tango is paying so much attention to his mom. He's being a little bitch"
(isn't black love beautiful?)
( I wouldn't call this 'black love'? I miss Whiteboy.)

New York continues, "I prefer Claudia because she looks like she knows how to apply makeup and look like a woman". "I'm a jealous woman, he has to see now that I am his mama"
(this woman is crazy)
( Anyone ever watch 'Play Misty'?)

They move on to have dinner and New York is being obnoxious and reveals to the viewers that she is deliberately ruining dinner because "Tango's mom is boring me. She's acting like a brick-wall....plain....and big"

She and Tango argue over Chance and we have this uncomfortable situation of her defending another man while addressing another with his mom looking on. She admits that Chance has been abusive and rude, causing Sister Patterson to turn to Tango to say "handle Chance or I will"

The date ends and Paula (Tango's mom) says her advice to Patrick (Tango) is "if he's prepared to deal with her...Fine! If not, I want him to run as fast as he can to the border"
(lol...granny got jokes)

***Date ends***

Back at the mansion Sister Patterson asks Chance to join her outside.
At the garden table she tells him he's "a little bit too immature and rambunctious" and asks him to "come closer".
At this point she offers him $5000. He balks and she offers him double ($10000) ..."if she gives you a chain tonight; and you accept my offer, you give her back the chain"

"You serious like this?" is all Chance could say.
Sister Patterson gets up and kisses him...on the lips. On the lips!
Sister Patterson kissed Chance on his fucking lips. I swear I felt a tinge when she did that; that shit was a turn-on. And anyone who says differently is lying. ( That was the coldest Sister Patterson move yet. That is some 'Kiss of Death' sh#t ...right there. LOL.)

Chance was unimpressed and said "the kiss from Sister Patterson taste like Old Lady perfume"
(lmao)

Chance returns to the mansion and informs Real and Tango that Sister Patterson offered him a a bribe.
All that's left is the elimination ceremony (looks at watch).
(Only 40 minutes have gone...this seems way too quick I am thinking)

After deliberation the guys gather at the usual spot and New York appears looking delicious in a burgundy colored dress...
( New York did look great. This will be my last public positive statement about New York.)

(But why do we need twenty minutes for an elimination ceremony?)

Pt2

The Elimination Ceremony

Earlier, New York mulled over the strengths of the three contestants:
Real - "is a passionate man; an honest man. He's ready for love"
Chance - "makes me laugh just like Flav used to"
Tango - "he says he loves me"

The choice was clearly between the Stallionaire Brothers.
So there she was, beautiful in burgundy and sporting her best weave yet; she wasted no time in getting to it...
"My first chain...this chain is going to a man who just fits me like a glove"
That man was Chance, and she told him,"you're getting this chain because I can see us together; we've already been through ups and downs"
Chance accepts, but removes the chain saying "you know, I gotta tell you something. I can't do this..."
New York is taken aback
(who does Chance think he is? Payshintz?)

Chance turns to Sister Patterson, seated comfortably in an uncomfortably fitting purple dress and asks, "you got what you say you have for me?'
"You got what you say you have for me?"
"Do you trust me?" says Sister Patterson
"You got what you say you have for me?" (for the third time)

New York is livid and storms outside, shouting "I am the HBIC around this motha, I run this shit"
(do people actually say that? That was so fake)
"I got feelings too", she laments.

Chance chases after her. He's not alone; a crew-member of the production staff grabs at New York's arm (wtf? was his problem)
Chance explains his intent to New York; "your momma offered me something I definitely can't refuse. She offered me ten grand, I was gonna take her money and keep my chain."
(liar!)

Unbelievably New York is convinced, and back in the mansion she says to him, "come here" and Chance receives his chain.
"I was never gonna leave, New York", he reiterates.
"Don't play his game Tiffany", Sister Patterson chimes in.

New York kisses the son-of-a-bitch
(what? His brother said it, too)
...and searches for words to explain her dumb-ass decision...."I have so much invested in this; my life is invested in this"
(***this space is reserved for Quanda to state why that comment is so obviously foolish and contradicts her decision to dump Real***)
( Bottom line New York is not in this to find love. And maybe the producers believe Chance's unpredictable behavior would make for higher ratings. Hence my life is invested in this ...the higher the ratings ...the better chance for another show. Makes perfect logic to me ...I would've given one chain to Real.)

Tango's response to this? "It's been a common thread since the beginning of time. Females like the biggest assholes. I don't understand that"
(lmfao)

Tiffany turns to mom and says, "he was never gonna leave me"
"He took the chain off", responds Sister P.

The back and forth continues but they soon return to the most important decision of the night; Tango or Real. She chose Tango!
Real is disappointed and New York tells the audience "Real might be too sensitive"
She asks Real to step forward and spouts this crap..."You're a wonderful man. You're the realest man I ever met and I love you. I love you so much"
(if a woman ever told me that after she dumped me I'd punch her in the solar-plexus. For real -pardon the pun)


The brothers say goodbye and Real, the class act he is, says to Chance, 'it's your time to shine"
They hug and the regret seems genuine, but Tango brings sanity to the surreality when he says, "what the hell is wrong with you (two)? You live in the same freaking house; you'll see each other in a few days"

Outside, Real summarizes his disappointment but it becomes too much for him and he breaks-down in tears.
(Perhaps the best post-elimination cry since Cherry on Flavor of Love 1)

In the mansion, New York announces that they're off to Mexico.

Tango's closing words are "she can't end up with this dude; it can't happen"
Whilst Chance's final words are "I'm gonna show that fucker how the Stallionaires get down"
My final words? 'I am so happy I finished this damn recap'

Goodnight.

Episode 10 looks a blast though, fights, spat, quarrels and great quotes, particularly Tango's description of Chance as "the anorexic 50Cent"
(lol)
( HaHaHa.....maybe Tango can get a Proactiv commercial gig.)


Thanks to : Meale for the quotes

If you don't like Spoilers ...Close Your Eyes

VH-1 has been so good to me. Heck in all honesty, they have been good to most of us. Years ago ...Sunday night was the most boring night of the week. The show 'Flavor of Love' Season 1 & 2 change that fact. Sundays became my favorite day. More specifically Sunday nights, all activities were scheduled around my ability to watch my favorite show. ( Yes, I typed it 'Flavor of Love'). For all those people who called it a modern day minstrel show, ...blah, blah, blah. I have never met a man of african ancestry behave in the same manner of Flavor Flav. I saw an entertainer, a flamboyant celebrity. The ' Flavor of Love' women were from many different ethnicities and races. They had different personalties and came from different backgrounds. I've met the Pumkins, Bootz, Smiley, Buckeey, Hoopz and Red Oysters of the world. There are women who are very much like them. Or should I say ...who appear to be very similiar to these ladies personality wise. Let's face it. I am a fan just as you were. I DO NOT know any of these ladies but several of them have showed me love and I appreciate it. And I tell you now I am excited about 'Charm School'. Monique lights my soul up with laughter. And I have love for all of the 13 ladies cast in VH-1's latest 'Flavor of Love' spin off.

Now back to the subject at hand: I wanted to give those who truly don't want to know the outcome of tonight's 'I Love New York' Episode 9's outcome time to stop reading. What ' Flavor of Love' did for my Sunday nights, 'I Love New York' had done for my Monday nights. And let's not forget many of my Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday and Sunday days and nights. Writing for this blog is no joke, I am not going to say anymore. So what is the big spoiler. Well someone uploaded the ' I Love New York' Episode 9 Aftershow. I don't know what happened or how but it happened and now we know who goes home. I am personally devastated. But hell I am sentimental after I interview someone.

The video begins with Goldie ( I so love that woman!) telling us that we are down to the final 3. Next we see New York reading another Tango love note, " I pray to God that you continue to play the right hand." And she the stands and laughs with excitement. To 'The Blogspot' female readers ...you should know what this means. She has serious feeling for Tango. So I guess to show this she goes and changes her clothes. She comes out sans bra. Goldie has her commentary on the no bra situation which is hysterical. So New York finds Tango and sits on a bed. She states Tango is glaring her up and down and looking at her breast. We can't see but VH-1 has blocked out part of her chest. Maybe it's me ...but maybe he was staring at your breasts because they were hanging out of your half ( 1/4) top.

Next downstairs Chamo (who is working the hell out of a red & white cowboy ensemble) opens the front doors. In steps a very attractive woman who just so happens to be Real's and Chance's mother. Chamo calls out, " Chance ...Real your mommy is here!" We get a glimpse of a limousine ride where everyone appears to be smiling, laughing and just one happy group. Next somewhere in Temecula ( My neck of the woods people ...if WB ever visits the ranch ...I am less than 20 minutes away.) OMG....I am about to faint. What the hell am I writing about? Oh yeah episode 9 Aftershow...let me get it together. Yeah, okay we are somewhere in or near Temecula next to a lake. Sister Patterson watches Real and New York holding hands walking and talking. I must admit it is a lovely sight. She states, " Look how good they look together. I mean they look so good together. And they would have extremely beautiful children." *Coughs...laughs...coughs. Goldie mentions how Sister Patterson is planning and plotting. Next Sister Patterson, New York, Tango and his ( cute as pie) mother are having a meal. We hear New York b@tching ,
" You can't run off everytime I start talking sh#t. Everytime I start talking sh#t ...yeah sorry moms." Sister Patterson tells her baby girl, " You cut that language out. And you apologize right now to Paula for using that language. You know better than that!" ( Ummm ...maybe the Tiffany she knows but the New York I've been watching doesn't know better.) Goldie believes Sister Patterson is showing out in front of company. Next in a kind of a Godmother ( Think ' The Godfather') move ...Sister Patterson offers Chance $5,000 to walk away. When he refuses ...she ups the ante by offering $10,000. Goldie thinks Chance should take the money and run. ( Me too but hell what do I know?!)

Finally, we are at the Elimination ceremony. New York has just given Chance his chain. And he takes it off and tells her, " I got to tell you something. I can't do this." Real and Tango look shocked. Neither one of them have chains ...I don't know about you but I would be happy. ( Bye Chance! See you later.) Outside we see Chance wearing his chain again and explaining something to New York. Goldie says he tried to flip the script ...saying he was trying to expose Sister Patterson. ( I don't know ...so I will be definitely be watching tonight to form my own distorted opinion.) We get to see Chance and Real saying their goodbyes. Chance wearing the ' I Love New York' chain ( I wonder: How heavy those bling bling chains are?) is crying. Real consoles his brother and tells him that it's his time to shine. Real is such a great brother. Goldie is merciless in her commentary. Back to the elimination room, New York tells the men she can use a little bit of adventure and asks them if they can too. They agree but don't seem to enthused. Sipping champagne, New York drools on her chin. Being a gentleman Tango takes his hand to wipe off the champagne off her chin. The H.B.I.C. takes the opportunity to suck Tango's thumb. ( I wonder if Chance rethinks his decision to pass on that $10,000, at that moment.) Goldie declares Tango the winner (Are you reading Gabrielle?). No matter what he does New York can't seem to get enough of him. Goldie's loser is Chance because he didn't take the money. I think the real loser is New York. She let a very good real man go. Real you will be missed.

Credit: Shawn

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