The thing about any reality television show is that eventually you get to a place where the show annoys you to the point that you just want it to end. I am not there yet with Flavor of Love but I can see it coming.
What I could not foretell is the reason until I read a rather prescient observation by Olivia, a reader of this blog.
According to Olivia and it has all but been confirmed, Pumkin is involved in a homosexual relationship. Mind you there is absolutely nothing wrong with that, unless you are the Reverend Jerry Falwell or something; but with the rumor that Hoopz and Goldie are also homosexuals it does take the shine off of any authenticity the series had.
Is it right that in a show where women compete for the dubious honor to date hip-hop star Flav Flav, that three of the top four spots were allegedly won by lesbians?
And the fourth, New York, has many people convinced she is a transvestite?
Doesn't seem right to me, but that's entertainment for you.
Let's get back to Pumkin though, on her blog she writes...
"I have met my soulmate. We are getting married."
Adding to that she penned this love letter
"You mean the world to me and I care about you so deeply that it hurts for the short time that we are not together. My every thought and breath, I draw from you and I truly do love you.
I love you and you are my world. You are the most sweetest, most precious person in my life. All my life I prayed for someone like you and I thank God that I finally found you. Love, promise me that you will always be mine. I know in my heart our love will never die. You will always be a part of me and I am a part of you indefinitely.
I don't find enough words to describe how I feel about you. You possess all the color and beauty of heavens, lush and satin. Do you know how much I hunger for your gentle touch and the warmth embrace of your body?
I love you; you are my every heartbeat and my every breath."
The woman allegedly involved with her is rather attractive in my opinion, here are a few pictures for you to judge, although you really shouldn't -judge, that is.
The issue according to Olivia, who appears to be au fait with the concerns of lesbians is that Pumkin is not exactly the woman you hope for as America's idea of a gay woman.
As Olivia wrote
"...damn me if the most hated white trash chick on reality tv is gonna claim this lesbian identity. fuck, we have ENOUGH misrepresentations ALREADY. damn these people."
Initially I did not see her point of view but I am coming around...Anyway this is way too serious for me and the fact that I am getting into people's business at all on this blog makes me a bit gay to be honest. But it's too late for that so perhaps I should celebrate my conversion with a pink Apple Ipod Nano.
Pumkin is either gay, bi-curious or just a publicity whore; but either way she should keep her hands off of Smiley and my pink Ipod
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though i agree that the existence of “bi-curious army” can be an affirming phenomenon (having the choice, i suppose, is better than none), i disagree that it’s doing much good for our community. first, homosexuals are still a very marginalized group—unaccepted as normal (and moral) and equal to heterosexuals by different cultures, races, classes, etc. it would be safe to say that gay males are oftentimes associated with AIDS, lesbians with porn. i believe the media helps and hurts the stereotypical representations of homosexuals. on one hand, we are more “visible” and more widely accepted than say, 30 years ago. there’s will and grace, ellen, the L-word. the media hurts homosexual identity in that it is “normalized,” that is, the still-present discriminations that we face daily are forgotten and trivialized (meaning the public will eventually accept its unimportance). no life should be all about drama and activism, but when a huge majority of the homogenous public will only see representations of the homosexual identity on television, i don’t want pumkin to be another bad one. one week she was tonguing down flavor flav, the next she’s spitting on new york, and now she’s dating a woman. what the hell kinda shit is that?
but more on this phenom of bi-curious army. i’ve come upon a lot of bitches who want to jump into a lesbian relationship, fool the more “actualized” lesbian into believing they are really serious and then suddenly start missing dick. this, of course, is on a one-on-one basis, but it happens a lot. i just say, bitches, find another bi-curious bitch and go test it out. though in actuality, sex is just sex, and if she wants to experience the immense intimacies of lesbian relationships, it actually requires some true, more deeper connections.
yeah, i know you didn’t want to read alla that... but “live with it” lol...
(olivia)...i've never been quoted in a blog this highly trafficked before lol. kinda scary.
Keep in mind the difference between bi-CURIOUS and bi-SEXUAL. I am a bisexual female and about as self-actualized as a bisexual person can be. Personally I hate these bicurious bitches, or the ones who are just bi on the weekends. I like men AND women and I like them each for different reasons. I am not confused and I know who I am and what I like. For me it is not political at all, it just "is." That is the only way I can explain it. Personally, this crap Pumkin is declaring in her blog about her love for this other woman seems more like someone seeking attention rather than being sincere. But that's just my opinion. She certainly is no role model for lesbians OR bisexuals. I joke that I'd give up men for Hoopz but there is a grain of truth to that -- the attraction would be physical at first but if someone that beautiful was not as beautiful on the inside then it would be a real turn off. Although my primary relationships have been with men, I would not rule out the possibility of having one with a woman if she had all the qualities I look for in a dating relationship.
hey steups, PLEASE don't stop writing in this blog...it's soooo great. Not only the stuff you write about Flavor of Love (the obvious reason), but all the other stuff you write...you gotta gift! You got me hooked!!
absolutely terrific blog
Maybe she is actually bi? A novel concept, I know, but given how frustrating it is when people don't take my bisexuality seriously (and bisexuals are rarely taken seriously), I'm going to give her the benefit of the doubt.
hey bisexual anon--
i think you made great points. i made sure not to refer to these bitches as "bisexual." i am specifically identifying the bi-curious ones or the ones just "bi on the weekends." i do believe in the existence of true bisexuals, those who can be satisfied by either (not both) sex. but since most bi bitches i encounter are not self-actualized, i find this phenomenon completely disheartening.
an example...my (soft-studdish) friend's bisexual gf just broke up with her, after 1.5 years (mostly living together), saying she is missing male attention. my friend is completely distraught, not eating, fainting at work...my friend has her own issues too (co-dependence, low self-esteem, etc.), though she's sure she wants to be with a female. so i'm not saying to be a lesbian instead of bisexual is to be self-actualized, but it's one step closer to certainty.
but this is not always the case. my ex-girlfriend first identified as bisexual. she said she was with women before (a lie), and she didn't feel she could be completely happy with a guy (and i could assess this was true). i didn't think she was bisexual and that once she got to know me, she would not miss male companions. but during rough periods when we weren't together, she was having familial & financial troubles and she did doubt herself, saying maybe god is judging her and making her suffer and that it would be best to be with a man. i was supportive, though i knew she would only be repressing her happiness.
i once identified as bisexual, too, for a few months, and that was before my first relationship with a female. after that, i knew which side i would prefer to build a life with. this was after a lot of self-assessment, soul searching, and thought. not a lot of females in their 20s are able to do this...so again, i'm discouraged. and being 22, doesn't help matters.
(olivia)