Episode 10 was so cockfull chockfull of material Aurelius kept it simple today; but there is still a lot to enjoy and the ending is surprising; 'Sixth Sense' sort of surprising.
One thing I noticed, though; Lacey's stepmother looks freaking good in Burberry.

Now in England, Burberry is really the clothes for chavs (look it up, I already omit my u's from words already, so I am not re-defining Brit slang)...but it looks so much classier on Americans.
Anyways, here's Aurelius' video recap of Rock of Love Episode 10

''I don't trust her after the way she acted in Vegas'' - Heather

With Heather now part of the anti-Lacey bandwagon, the person she shouldn't trust, Jes, has a clear path to the final two. Heather and Lacey may have missed it, but Jes reminds us ''the connection that I had with Bret has intensified so much more.''
This weeks episode is important because the parents are visiting and staving off elimination earns you a trip to Mexico. As Bret says, "you marry the girl, you marry the parents" (I prefer, 'you marry the sister').

Heather's parents are first to arrive and she notes this is probably the third time in her life she's been with the both of them at the same time (and they say only black-fathers run away at birth)
Moments away from meeting the girls' parents, Bret declares "it's the one thing that makes a rock-star nervous" (I would have guessed 'the boyfriend'). But his fear is unfounded as he gets along really well with Heather's mom and dad; primarily because they are huge football fans.

Jes' parents are next and she greets them with hugs and tears. And if you thought that was a bit much, she adds, "my parents and I have an open relationship..." (does this mean she gets to see other parents?). Jes' parents do not bring Bret to tears but he is pleasantly surprised as they aren't the "uptight banker and judgemental mom" he pictured. And adds, her parents took his "level of Jes even higher than it was" (I like that term... 'level of')

Next up are Lacey's parents, her father actually -and her step-mother, Karen. "My Dad and I are pretty close", she assures us. But his first reaction is horror as she shows him the winning album cover of Episode 7.
Bret's reaction must have been close to horror as well, because he confesses to having met Lacey's Dad on a plane, and Daddy Lacey actually showed him a picture of his daughter.
Bret recalls saying 'she's really pretty. Can I date her?'.
To which, Dad replied, 'she's way too young for you.' (good thing he's aged since...)

The entire conversation was uncomfortable. No surprise that it ended with Bret saying, he 'senses a ticking time-bomb.'

The most important thing is...to know a lot of dirt about your daughters - Bret

Bret follows the format of separate outings with the ladies and their parents; beginning with Heather. He takes them to the 'Saddle Ranch' where they drink a lot of beer and talk a whole lot of nonsense until Bret convinces Heather to ride the mechanical bull. She does a great job staying atop until the bull bucks and jerks and she's thrown off (she should know how sensitive it is at that point)
Bret is pleased with the lunch, "she (Heather) pulls no punches, she was straight, she was open, her parents were open."

Jes' parents are next to be evaluated and their outing is at 'Rock & Roll Religion on Melrose' where they have fun with the clothes on offer (this is so not like the visit of Sister Patterson)

But things heat up when Bret accompanies Lacey, her father and step-mother (who is a classic Stepford wife with a dash of Alexis Carrington) for a simple meal.
But Lacey's dad takes this as an opportunity to interrogate Bret. An uncomfortable Bret jokes, "is it the hot-sauce why my mouth is on fire?"
But Daddy Lacey says "I think it's all those lies you're telling" (omg, wtf?)
(wtf?) (wtf?) (wtf?)
A shocked Bret could do nothing but glare as Daddy Lacey digs deeper, "I happen to be a very wealthy man. If you marry there is going to be a pre-nup involved" (wtf? wth?)

Bret looks on incredulously as he further reveals Lacey is independently wealthy, a Presidential scholar and doesn't do drugs (is that not the ideal woman?) A confused Bret thinks, "I am starting to wonder if Lacey's dad knows everything she has done in the house" (uh? It's not like she gave you head or anything?)

And just when you thought it couldn't get worse, Lacey's dad asks Bret if he has hair under that hat. (Oh Jesus, after that third degree for Lacey, can you imagine what Matthew said to Jay-Z?)

Back at the mansion, Lacey and her parents return to her room, only to discover a topless and drunk Heather (Lacey's words). Heather thinks dad is staring at her in a creepy fashion, but Lacey sees her behavior as demonstrating a lack of class (I concur)

Downstairs, Lacey tries to embarrass Heather; asking her to 'do something on the stripper-pole'. Annoyed; Heather walks away, and to her parents, where she relates all that's happened at the mansion and says she is going to use this opportunity to "call Lacey out."

Big John interrupts to announce dinner will soon be ready.

At dinner, Lacey raises a toast to everyone whilst her mom asks for bios (Oh geesh!)
Turns out Jes worked her way up from the bottom (doesn't everyone?), Heather has a BA in Communications. Dad answers for Lacey, saying, "she doesn't work. She lives on her investments...she plays the stock market" (okkkk)

Heather then seizes the moment she's been waiting for, asking Lacey if she's drinking (dad said she rarely drinks) and one or two other embarrassing questions which she deflects. Wisely, Karen -the stepmother- takes Lacey to the kitchen to discuss Heather's outbursts; but unwisely, leaves Daddy Lacey on the dinner table.
Told of Heather's and her parent's date at the 'Saddle Ranch' he asks, "who eats in a restaurant that has a mechanical bull?
Bret is not amused and exits from the table, noting, "he's kinda busting on where I went and I am not digging that at all".

I thought she was my friend - Heather

Next morning, Bret hits the punching bag (and suddenly it hits me, didn't Lacey's mom die recently?) and is interrupted by Lacey who wants to have a chat about Heather. She tells Bret, Heather obviously loves her parents but flaunts her stripping in their faces, knowing they aren't pleased with her career choice. She asks the question, if she won't stop stripping for them, why would you believe she will for you (hmmmn, good question).

Unfortunately Heather and Jes are eavesdropping and having heard enough she (Heather) confronts Lacey (cue Jaws theme). She screams and shouts at an unusually calm Lacey, saying, "You're a liar. You got on my side and you manipulated me as you did everyone else"
As Heather walks off, Bret advises Lacey to "go address her now"

At the house it's all chaos with Heather cussing and carrying on, but Lacey's dad assures her he has known her for 30 years and no one should presume they know her better than he, after 15 minutes together (way to go Dad)
And what are Jes and her parents doing? Nothing. Although Jes' dad notes "it's a dangerous place, here."

And it becomes even more dangerous as Heather and Lacey confront each other again..."You're throwing me under the bus", Heather says. (I never heard that phrase til this show. And what's with Heather's double finger-point)
Lacey tries to explain that she did say Heather loves her parents, but Heather is in fighting mood and all hell breaks loose when she shouts to Lacey, "I saw you suck his dick" (they better add that shit to the DVD, lol)
Of course the argument ended right there because there isn't a comeback to 'I saw you suck his dick'. What are you gonna say, 'but I didn't swallow'?

As any good dad would, Lacey's decides to confront Bret about Heather's accusation and says, "sorry to bother you big-boy" (I don't know about you, but after hearing your daughter sucked his dick, I would not have called him big-boy...just sayin')
(by the way, am I saying 'suck his dick' too much? Because it's coming across as latent homosexuality, methinks)

Daddy Lacey then says to Bret, "I need to speak to you about whose cock my daughter's been sucking" (noooo, noooo, that's just wrong. wtf? wtf? wtf?)
(how in the hell can a dad even say the word 'cock'? Far more ask the cock-owner if his...just forget it, I need to move on from this shit)

Poor Bret is confused and thinks, 'where the fuck is Big John right now when I need him'

''I am not a problem solver, it's not my forte'' - Bret

Elimination Night
The parents stand beside their daughters, but Bret asks them to leave and gets down to the business.
Jes is called first (no surprise there) and then Bret clues us in to his decision-making process, he is basing his decision on a gut feeling and 'who ain't who they ain't (if that ain't some profound shit, I don't know what is)

He calls Lacey next and says, "there is a side of you I absolutely love and want to be close to" but tells her "your tour ends here" because that other side of her will eventually cause problems.
Understandably, Lacey is shocked, "I can't even feel emotions right now, I'm just in shock and disbelief"

The show ends with no-hips Heather collecting her pass as Bret announces they have to pack their bags quickly because they are off to Cabo, San Lucas.

I'll try to get the recap completed in the next couple of hours but if you read the spoiler you know the eliminated rock of love contestant. If not; the info can be found here.

That's it then, I'm off to do the recap. Until whatever time it's published you can watch and listen this account of a fan's ancounter with Bret Michaels.

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