''I don't trust her after the way she acted in Vegas'' - Heather

heather-rock-of-loveWith Heather now part of the anti-Lacey bandwagon, the person she shouldn't trust, Jes, has a clear path to the final two. Heather and Lacey may have missed it, but Jes reminds us ''the connection that I had with Bret has intensified so much more.''
This weeks episode is important because the parents are visiting and staving off elimination earns you a trip to Mexico. As Bret says, "you marry the girl, you marry the parents" (I prefer, 'you marry the sister').

Heather's parents are first to arrive and she notes this is probably the third time in her life she's been with the both of them at the same time (and they say only black-fathers run away at birth)
Moments away from meeting the girls' parents, Bret declares "it's the one thing that makes a rock-star nervous" (I would have guessed 'the boyfriend'). But his fear is unfounded as he gets along really well with Heather's mom and dad; primarily because they are huge football fans.

bret_receives_gifts_from_Jes'_parentsJes' parents are next and she greets them with hugs and tears. And if you thought that was a bit much, she adds, "my parents and I have an open relationship..." (does this mean she gets to see other parents?). Jes' parents do not bring Bret to tears but he is pleasantly surprised as they aren't the "uptight banker and judgemental mom" he pictured. And adds, her parents took his "level of Jes even higher than it was" (I like that term... 'level of')

Next up are Lacey's parents, her father actually -and her step-mother, Karen. "My Dad and I are pretty close", she assures us. But his first reaction is horror as she shows him the winning album cover of Episode 7.
Bret's reaction must have been close to horror as well, because he confesses to having met Lacey's Dad on a plane, and Daddy Lacey actually showed him a picture of his daughter.
Bret recalls saying 'she's really pretty. Can I date her?'.
To which, Dad replied, 'she's way too young for you.' (good thing he's aged since...)

The entire conversation was uncomfortable. No surprise that it ended with Bret saying, he 'senses a ticking time-bomb.'

The most important thing is...to know a lot of dirt about your daughters - Bret


heathers_dad_drinks_beer_at_the_saddle_ranchBret follows the format of separate outings with the ladies and their parents; beginning with Heather. He takes them to the 'Saddle Ranch' where they drink a lot of beer and talk a whole lot of nonsense until Bret convinces Heather to ride the mechanical bull. She does a great job staying atop until the bull bucks and jerks and she's thrown off (she should know how sensitive it is at that point)
Bret is pleased with the lunch, "she (Heather) pulls no punches, she was straight, she was open, her parents were open."

Jes' parents are next to be evaluated and their outing is at 'Rock & Roll Religion on Melrose' where they have fun with the clothes on offer (this is so not like the visit of Sister Patterson)

But things heat up when Bret accompanies Lacey, her father and step-mother (who is a classic Stepford wife with a dash of Alexis Carrington) for a simple meal.
But Lacey's dad takes this as an opportunity to interrogate Bret. An uncomfortable Bret jokes, "is it the hot-sauce why my mouth is on fire?"
But Daddy Lacey says "I think it's all those lies you're telling" (omg, wtf?)
(wtf?) (wtf?) (wtf?)

A shocked Bret could do nothing but glare as Daddy Lacey digs deeper, "I happen to be a very wealthy man. If you marry there is going to be a pre-nup involved" (wtf? wth?)

Bret looks on incredulously as he further reveals Lacey is independently wealthy, a Presidentialbret_lacey_laceys_parents scholar and doesn't do drugs (is that not the ideal woman?) A confused Bret thinks, "I am starting to wonder if Lacey's dad knows everything she has done in the house" (uh? It's not like she gave you head or anything?)

And just when you thought it couldn't get worse, Lacey's dad asks Bret if he has hair under that hat. (Oh Jesus, after that third degree for Lacey, can you imagine what Matthew said to Jay-Z?)

Back at the mansion, Lacey and her parents return to her room, only to discover a topless and drunk Heather (Lacey's words). Heather thinks dad is staring at her in a creepy fashion, but Lacey sees her behavior as demonstrating a lack of class (I concur)

Downstairs, Lacey tries to embarrass Heather; asking her to 'do something on the stripper-pole'. Annoyed; Heather walks away, and to her parents, where she relates all that's happened at the mansion and says she is going to use this opportunity to "call Lacey out."

Big John interrupts to announce dinner will soon be ready.


At dinner, Lacey raises a toast to everyone whilst her mom asks for bios (Oh geesh!)
Turns out Jes worked her way up from the bottom (doesn't everyone?), Heather has a BA in Communications. Dad answers for Lacey, saying, "she doesn't work. She lives on her investments...she plays the stock market" (okkkk)

Heather then seizes the moment she's been waiting for, asking Lacey if she's drinking (dad said she rarely drinks) and one or two other embarrassing questions which she deflects. Wisely, Karen -the stepmother- takes Lacey to the kitchen to discuss Heather's outbursts; but unwisely, leaves Daddy Lacey on the dinner table.
Told of Heather's and her parent's date at the 'Saddle Ranch' he asks, "who eats in a restaurant that has a mechanical bull?
Bret is not amused and exits from the table, noting, "he's kinda busting on where I went and I am not digging that at all".

I thought she was my friend - Heather

laceys_dad_confronts_bretNext morning, Bret hits the punching bag (and suddenly it hits me, didn't Lacey's mom die recently?) and is interrupted by Lacey who wants to have a chat about Heather. She tells Bret, Heather obviously loves her parents but flaunts her stripping in their faces, knowing they aren't pleased with her career choice. She asks the question, if she won't stop stripping for them, why would you believe she will for you (hmmmn, good question).

Unfortunately Heather and Jes are eavesdropping and having heard enough she (Heather) confronts Lacey (cue Jaws theme). She screams and shouts at an unusually calm Lacey, saying, "You're a liar. You got on my side and you manipulated me as you did everyone else"
As Heather walks off, Bret advises Lacey to "go address her now"

At the house it's all chaos with Heather cussing and carrying on, but Lacey's dad assures her he has known her for 30 years and no one should presume they know her better than he, after 15 minutes together (way to go Dad)
And what are Jes and her parents doing? Nothing. Although Jes' dad notes "it's a dangerous place, here."

And it becomes even more dangerous as Heather and Lacey confront each other again..."You're throwing me under the bus", Heather says. (I never heard that phrase til this show. And what's with Heather's double finger-point)
Lacey tries to explain that she did say Heather loves her parents, but Heather is in fighting mood and all hell breaks loose when she shouts to Lacey, "I saw you suck his dick" (they better add that shit to the DVD, lol)
Of course the argument ended right there because there isn't a comeback to 'I saw you suck his dick'. What are you gonna say, 'but I didn't swallow'?

As any good dad would, Lacey's decides to confront Bret about Heather's accusation and says, "sorry to bother you big-boy" (I don't know about you, but after hearing your daughter sucked his dick, I would not have called him big-boy...just sayin')
(by the way, am I saying 'suck his dick' too much? Because it's coming across as latent homosexuality, methinks)

Daddy Lacey then says to Bret, "I need to speak to you about whose cock my daughter's been sucking" (noooo, noooo, that's just wrong. wtf? wtf? wtf?)
(how in the hell can a dad even say the word 'cock'? Far more ask the cock-owner if his...just forget it, I need to move on from this shit)

Poor Bret is confused and thinks, 'where the fuck is Big John right now when I need him'

''I am not a problem solver, it's not my forte'' - Bret


Elimination Night
Lacey-eliminated-episode-10The parents stand beside their daughters, but Bret asks them to leave and gets down to the business.
Jes is called first (no surprise there) and then Bret clues us in to his decision-making process, he is basing his decision on a gut feeling and 'who ain't who they ain't (if that ain't some profound shit, I don't know what is)

He calls Lacey next and says, "there is a side of you I absolutely love and want to be close to" but tells her "your tour ends here" because that other side of her will eventually cause problems.
Understandably, Lacey is shocked, "I can't even feel emotions right now, I'm just in shock and disbelief"

The show ends with no-hips Heather collecting her pass as Bret announces they have to pack their bags quickly because they are off to Cabo, San Lucas.

37 comments

  1. revenge // 16/9/07 10:20 PM  

    yay.

    first.

  2. Bubo the Hater // 16/9/07 10:22 PM  

    Steups, it was Heather's room! The father just stood there. I imagined him saying,

    "I am outraged! I demand you put some clothes on in the next 5 minutes, damnit!" If the father had any class, he'd have left, but he just stood there in the womans room while she was getting dressed.

    Lacey is a trustafarian who got a broad index of stocks that did well. Whose broad index of stocks did not do well? It is the stock market after all.

    I need to see the uncut version!

  3. steups // 16/9/07 10:41 PM  

    Oh. But aren't they sharing the room?
    Take your point though but I can't stand her. She's better than jes, though, who's another Hoopz.

  4. Jeff Loves New York // 16/9/07 10:42 PM  

    NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO LACEY CANT GO HOME I HOPE BRET MICHAELS IS MISERABLE

  5. Aurelius (aka bhattipimpin88) // 16/9/07 10:54 PM  

    get ready for a dull season finale.

  6. steups // 16/9/07 11:34 PM  

    True.
    Catch y'all tomorrow morning; hopefully.

  7. Licious // 17/9/07 1:52 AM  

    Excellent recap Steups...

  8. Cheesemeister // 17/9/07 1:54 AM  

    I guess that Jeff won't be agreeing with me when I say that this is pathetic but I literally clapped when the stake was finally driven through the white trash vampire from hell's heart. I have never actually hated a contestant on one of these things until her. Disliked, yes, but hate was too strong. Then came Lacey. Urgh! And I started having dreams of becoming a fat, middle-aged Buffy the Vampire Slayer.
    Heather may be a Pamela Anderson clone and Jes may be another Hoopz, but either of those is better than Lacey any day of the year!

  9. Dana - W for Whatever // 17/9/07 6:51 AM  

    Fabulous Recap!!!!!!!

    I guess that's why Lacey "sings" the way she does. It's just a hoppy, not her bread and butter.

    I guess the Presidential Scholar thing explains her war manoeuvres and whole tactical strategising, divide and conquer, take them out one by one behaviour in the series.

    I just wonder what was her motivation for doing she show as she is so independently wealthy and doesn't need to work etc.

  10. ShakazP // 17/9/07 9:37 AM  

    Great recap, but the show is still too low-octane for me, bring on "I Love New York!" NOW!!

  11. Electra (trinidad) // 17/9/07 9:48 AM  

    LOL hmmmmmmmm

  12. SapphireTigress // 17/9/07 10:31 AM  

    LMAO @ 'see other parents'.

    I didn't like Lacey, but I think it would have been interesting to keep her around for the final episode.

    Steups - I emailed you a link to a video about the Jena 6 - it will tell you what happened in detail.

  13. steups // 17/9/07 11:01 AM  

    I sent you a reply...it was enlightening

  14. ~*~$$$Irresistible Deliscious$$$~*~ (myspace.com/fetish2006) // 17/9/07 11:05 AM  

    Revenge, you fuckin' DIKE. I want you to know that I sincerly hate you from the bottom of my heart and the pit of my soul. Suck dick, drink clorox, and DIE.

  15. ~*~$$$Irresistible Deliscious$$$~*~ (myspace.com/fetish2006) // 17/9/07 11:11 AM  

    BTW, i notice you didn't bring me up or mention me until you thought I had left; "I'm sorry you turned out to be such a little punk bitch." Be sure to let me know how to be more dramatic so I can take you up on that offer to slit your wrists.

  16. steups // 17/9/07 12:09 PM  

    why Irre? Why?
    There are so many other ways to resolve conflict.

  17. Sawyers_Stash // 17/9/07 12:36 PM  

    Hmm.
    So first off great recap. Was anyone else dying that Laceys dad had actually met Bret before? Awkward...
    I also had no idea Lacey was 31. I guess she must be drinking the blood of virgins or something.

    Had Lacey never seen a VH1 reality show? Did she not knwo the parent episode was coming? She back peddled to last week.

    She is like the reality cliche queen "I'm not here to make friends" "I think you're fake and I'm the only one who's here for him." Then she comes back with "I'm not like this in my regular life"


    Lacey is all being the victim "I can't beleive she would do that in front of my PARENTS" But then asks Heather to dance on the pole...come on.

    Don't act like a dirty skoach if you can't back up your skoachiness Lacey.

    Did anyone else find it really weird that they ate like 6 times that day? I thought Brett was Diabetic..can't that be dangerous?



    I just read on TMZ that New York Says Brad Pitt is a girly man and she doesn't think he's hot...the picture they posted for her though...eek it's a doozie.


    I hate "recap week" I never even bother to watch..it's just the vspot clips all smashed together.

    So we have like 3 more weeks of this before I love New York...and then when will we get another charm school?

    I have heard rumors of a :"I love Lacey" and if there was ever a series killer...


    Also Hello to everyone..I've been mia...but have been keeping up reading just not posting :)
    Much Love.

  18. ~*~$$$Irresistible Deliscious$$$~*~ (myspace.com/fetish2006) // 17/9/07 12:47 PM  

    Precisely Steups. And there are also a million others ways to express dislike of someone instead of saying "Whoooohooo he's gone! Thank you JESUS!" I don't understand what her issue is with me, because she doesn't have a legitimate reason to dislike me. Okay, so I'm a bitter bitch. So is SHE. I'm unneccesarily cruel at times. So is she.I'm crazy as all hell. Definite check for Ms. Revenge. I'm gay. Well.... so is SHE. We're the exact same person, it's just that I'm in a shinier, slimmer package than she. Maybe this is why she's so bitter?? Who knows and who cares but I think a lot of people hatin' on me have a problem with me as a person rather than my work as a whole. And this isn't about ME or my personality or the fact that I'm a snob. It's about what I post, so I don't get why everyone broke out the champagne after my last post. Everyone here knows I have a knack for writing and everybody knows G****** well how much of a command over the english language I have. If I posted the same shit under a different name, no one would have a problem with it.

  19. here4beer // 17/9/07 12:51 PM  

    Steups: Heather was in her bathroom (I think) and then walked in to HER bedroom topless just covered by a towel (or shirt or whatever she grabbed). I think the right thing to do would have been for Lacey's dad to leave HEATHERS room so she could get dressed. Instead he decided to chill on the bed and watch her dress. WTF???

    That is on weird family.

  20. here4beer // 17/9/07 12:51 PM  

    one*

  21. Sawyers_Stash // 17/9/07 12:59 PM  

    and the step mom..totally brain washed..
    I mean I get that every parent goes around in a funk going"Not my kid" but come on.

    looks like somebody got hit with the "Sugar daddy stick"

    I don't have myspace..did Lacey blog to justify herself yet?

  22. steups // 17/9/07 1:32 PM  

    The last five comments have me speechless; for varying reasons. Mostly good.

    I kinda missed the part when Heather came from the bathroom and I wondered too, about the eating, Sawyer.

    It's like Bret really likes food

  23. JP13 // 17/9/07 1:37 PM  

    I kinda didn't see Lacey's demise coming. I figured it'd be Jes vs. Lacey for the finale, a revisitation to NY/Hoopz. At this point I don't even care about the finale, I just want to see the reunion in hopes that Dallas finally gets to take a swing at Lacey.

  24. Sawyers_Stash // 17/9/07 1:42 PM  

    I completely forgot about Dallas...It's outa site outa mind with these Rock of Love chicks..
    I'm sure they are all very nice but ...well I miss Flav and Ny and all the riciulousness that comes with it.

  25. Electra (trinidad) // 17/9/07 1:48 PM  

    Yawns, stretch, eats chocolates

  26. Sawyers_Stash // 17/9/07 1:52 PM  

    Did we bring enough for everyone ;)?

  27. JP13 // 17/9/07 1:53 PM  

    I can't say I miss any of the Rock of Love girls. Sammie was my favorite simply because when she was upset or frustrated she'd bite her nails. I don't know why but it kinda added personality to her. Here you have a girl who looks like she jumped right off the Suicide Girls website but she's this jaded, shy little girl inside. If I had to miss one, it'd be her.

  28. Electra (trinidad) // 17/9/07 1:54 PM  

    LOL where are my manners, here Sawyers have a piece not a big piece but a reasonable piece. LOL

  29. Sawyers_Stash // 17/9/07 2:20 PM  

    :) I'll bring the snacks next post :)

  30. Dana - W for Whatever // 17/9/07 2:40 PM  

    Irre I was all for supporting you. I thought your posts were a breath of fresh air and they made me smile. But this:

    "Revenge, you fuckin' DIKE..."

    is UNFORGIVEABLE

    Rev so does not deserve that. She is a total sweetheart. She may not have liked your posts but I don't think her opinion warranted what you posted.

  31. Aurelius (aka bhattipimpin88) // 17/9/07 2:53 PM  

    yea, I love Revenge, what's the deal Irre? Why personally attack her when five other people agreed?

  32. Electra (trinidad) // 17/9/07 3:19 PM  

    OK Sawyers I am holding you to it!!!! LOL

  33. The Q // 17/9/07 5:18 PM  

    I love Revenge.
    Enough typed.

  34. steups // 17/9/07 6:36 PM  

    when am I going to get the ILNY2 guys MySpaces to add to the columns?

  35. Bubo the Hater // 17/9/07 10:50 PM  

    Q, you love me and revenge...(light bulb goes off in Bubo's pants, er head

  36. kelly ann // 18/9/07 12:51 AM  

    so happy that crazy hot read head is gone... i dont think jes and bret really mesh.

  37. kelly ann // 18/9/07 3:33 AM  

    sawyer, shes posted blogs, just not about sunday. but go check out her blog to the lovers and haters.. neurotic... http://blog.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=blog.view&friendID=208774635&blogID=296882953
    girl, get a myspace, the whole cast has one!

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