This Isn't A T.V. Show, It's A Group

I promised a Man Band recap, I'm giving you a Man Band recap *even though I can no longer feel my left pinky and ring fingers*. Tonight VH1 showed a double feature of Mission: Man Band and I was LOVING both episodes. I am no Groovy Noodles at the recaps, nor do I possess the verbal acrobatics of The Q, but I'm learning yall!! Oh yeah, and please forgive my lack of episode pictures as I have not yet learned how to steal pics from VH1 *not to mention I'm not trying to mess up my chances of getting tickets to the ILNY2 reunion show taping... I ain't stealing NOTHING LOL* Wrote a song about it. Like to hear it? Here it go...


Part I of the Man Band season finale begins with a short recap of the seasons events. *There is no need to recap this since I just gave you a massive mini-recap yesterday, right? Good.* Last episode, we learned that the dreadful Manager From Hell, Miss Kate, got the fellas booked at Mansion, which is THE hottest club in Miami. I was sort of nervous about that because of the previous debaucle at the Miami Heat half time show. *I still have tomato stains on my wife B from that episode*. OMG... during last nights massive mini-recap, I totally forgot to tell you guys about Angela who is the stylist for Sure Shot. This chicks laugh sounds like a wounded heyena going thru crack withdrawls, who is being beaten to a slow death with a pair of Flav's old fronts. It's THE WORST laugh in the history of laughs. I swear. Anyway, Angela rolls thru and gives the fellas their clothes for their performance at Mansion. *I seriously need to go to Mansion because that place looks like THE TRUTH!*


The fellas are hyped about performing in South Beach and they get loaded up into the tour bus and head over to their first radio interview which was at Y100 with DJ Michael Yo *who is totally hot by the way. Michael... holla atcha girl*. DJ SexyLicious starts the show off by introducing all of the fellas. My guts were rumbling when he looked at Brian and said, "Bryan from Color Me Badd. OLD SCHOOL! We're taking it REAL old school!" *THUD! NO WAY! Did he just say that?!* Bryan took it like a champ and just laughed it off. *You better then me B. Love* So Rich (LFO dude) starts to explain how the band got put together and whatnot and Chris (N*Sync) says, "It's a joke. It's a huge joke on us." This does not sit well with The Manager From Hell. She was heated. "He takes the music seriously but clowns on everything else. He needs to express that this is real and it's not a joke." COME ON, Miss Kate!!! Chris is known for his snarky sense of humor. It's part of his appeal. This chick needs to be FIRED immediately. *Where's Donald Trump when you need him???* Anyway, Rich says, "We're 4 guys who just wanna do music." Rich successfully smoothed that moment over right? WRONG! What does Chris say, "Make sure you come out to the concert over at Mansion if you wanna see how fat and ugly we've gotten. It's GREAT! You can laugh and point and say, 'OMG he used to be my favorite!'" *ROFLMAO! This guy needs to be on Last Comic Standing.. seriously*. Again, Miss Kate = not impressed at all. NICE.


The fellas head over to sound check. Everyone was feeling comfortable and it showed! They sounded and looked good. All is well in Man Band Land until Chris starts asking The Manager From Hell where the mic stands he requested were? OF COURSE, being that she's the WORST manager in the history of manager's, she has NO idea where the mic stands are. Chris keeps asking where the mic stands are and why she doesn't know where they are. He demands to know, "who's mess up was it on the mic stands?" He says, "It's a managers duty to make sure everything runs smoothly." *He is 100% right about that* Miss Kate is standing there DUMBFOUNDED *extra dumbfounded is more like it* and she states, "I have no idea where the mic stands are." COME ON! When are they gonna fire this chick??

After the sound check, the fellas & Miss Kate go out to dinner. During dinner, Chris tries to explain to her that she needs to take responsiblity for her mess up's and that it was her job to make sure that they had mic stands. He wants to know what's going to happen in the future when she messes up on something huge? Miss Kate's response was, "I don't think you realize how hard I've been working at this thing. *Her funky hair-do and wrinkled jeans clearly show that she's not lying* It's not my fault you didn't have mic stands!" Chris calmly asks, "Who would you like to point to who's fault it is?" Miss Kate delivers a statement that almost makes me pee my pants, "I'd like to point at you!" *CTFU! NO WAY!* Yes people, she was serious. She tries to use a classic turn-the-tables-transfer-of-negative-energy move on Chris by pointing out that he acts like this whole thing is a joke to him and that he's not taking it seriously. What in God's name does that have to do with YOU not making sure they had mic stands?? Someone give them my number... QUICKLY! *Sidenote: Miss Kate not only has no idea what she's doing as a manager, but she shows up to everything looking like they just peeled her out of her bed. WTF?*

After Chris delivers the final blow by telling Miss Kate, "I don't want people like you screwing up this bands career", they head off to the tour bus *which is HOT by the way* to head over to Mansion for their performance. Everyone is backstage freaking out! They are all totally nervous. Jeff is sweating like Michael Vick in General Population, Bryan looks like he wants to puke, & even Chris is shaking in his boots. The crowd is HYPED and DJ Irie (sexy AND HOT DJ in Miami), comes out and introduces Sure Shot. At this point, I'm ready to grab a mic and get busy with them my dayum self! Just when it looks like we will have our storybook ending, someone starts the track too soon! The fellas are screaming for someone to cut the track and nobody does. They push Bryan out onto the stage against his will and.... the show ends. Don't worry people! I'm gonna post Part 2 next. I wouldn't do yall like that, Boo Boo's!


Please enjoy this short intermission while I attempt to harness the Chee and refrain from tracking Miss Kate down and Bit@ch slapping her. She's THE WORST. Okay... BRB.


*You've just experienced some partial Liciousness*