Mission: Man Band Recap Part 2

I spent a little time trying to convince myself that Miss Kate, a.k.a. The Manager From Hell, really isn't that bad. NO SUCH LUCK PEOPLE! Miss Kate, to quote a phrase from Darnell Wright, kill yosef! She's the worst. WHEEW, I feel better having gotten that off my chest.

We left off with the fellas throwing Bryan to the wolves by pushing him out onto the stage at club Mansion. So they push him out on stage and, surprisingly enough, it turns out to be a HOT entrance! Bryan comes swaggering *what's goodie Whiteboy!?* onto the stage singing his ass off. The rest of the fellas join him and they absolutely kill their first song. Now I've never been very impressed with Rich's rapping skills but even he rocked the mic that night *in a very Vanilla Ice-ish type way*. Oh, fashion sidenote: Imma need Chris to NEVER wear a bandana like that on stage... ever again. And I mean it. After murdering their 1st song, Sure Shot performs their 2nd single, which was also produced by B. Cox *Uber producer... I bow to his skills. B. Cox, Imma need you to hook me up with a track. Holla atcha girl* This 2nd song is HOT. I'm not gonna lie, I was doin the running man in my wife b. and boy shorts. Chris says, "We're not in this to be the coolest guys on the planet. We're in this to make good music and have a good time." *Indeed, Chris*. What impressed me the most during this 2nd song was Bryan's vocals. GOOD LAWD that Kat has PIPES! *SANG BOY!* He absolutely stole the show during that 2nd performance. Rich sums it up perfectly "We're gonna prove something tonight. And that is that we came here to tear this thing up. We're the guys who rock stages!" *To quote my man Mr. Wise: THAT's HOT!".

The show ends, the crowd goes wild, and I am already online trying to purchase tickets to the 1st Sure Shot concert. The Manager From Hell finally does something right and announces to the fellas that they have meetings scheduled with several major record labels the next day and that they are going to try to get them a record deal. She thanks the fellas for allowing her to be a part of the making of the band *More like thanks for not firing my ass!* and Chris, *who I am now madly in love with* says to her, "I've still got my eye on you." OMG... that is the funniest ish EVER. I love that guy. He never misses a chance to give that chick The Biznass. Rich, who has been in remission from Leukemia for the last 2 years, says, "I didn't think that I was gonna be around anymore. And now I'm flying to New York to get a record deal. I'm blessed." Indeed you are, Love.

The next day, Bryan (Color Me Badd) has a final meeting with his trainer and we discover that he has lost 15.5lbs in 3 weeks. Okay, I love Bryan and I'm behind him 100% but WTF???? 15.5lbs in 3 weeks?? I've been on this diet for a couple months now and I lost 19lbs in 9 days and 42lbs in a month. HOW is it possible that Bryan had a trainer and only managed to lose 15.5lbs in 3 weeks? *OMG! That was bitchy huh? Sorry!* Anyway, congrats to B. Love on his weight loss. A loss is a loss and he's moving in the right direction so KUDOS, Son! Bryan is excited about his weight loss and says, "You just have to make up in your mind that you're gonna do something and then just do it." *Words to live by people*. While B. Love is going through his final workout with his trainer, Chris & Rich visit a hospital that specializes in treating kids with Leukemia & Cancer. There was this one little girl who's smile could heal anything that was broken in your spirit. She was the cutest little angel. The fellas walked around the hospital and brightened up all the kids days. Rich mentions to a lot of the kids that just 6 months earlier, he was in the same hospital bed they are in now and he survived and so can they. I can't lie people, The Licious One shed a tear. Rich has a foundation that explains stem cell donation and so forth. Please visit The Rich Cronin Hope Foundation to see what you can do to help.

Meanwhile, back at the ranch, The Manager From Hell announces to the fellas that she has chartered a P.J. (private jet) *shout out to Rob Dyrdek!*, for their trip to New York. She says, "I want them to have a little taste of what it used to be like and what it can be like again." NICE.. remind them that they are clawing their way back up the food chain by saying, "what it used to be like". I seriously think VH1 hired this chick to torture and irriatate these men's souls to see how much it would take for them to completely bug out on national television. Again, fashion sidenote: Miss Kate always looks a HOT BOILING MESS! Where is her stylist? VH1, PLEASE hook a sista up next season. Or at least buy her a brush from Target and teach her how to use it. *Bitchy much? Sorry.* B. Cox tells the fellas that he's proud of them and that he's pleased with the progress that they've made in the last 3 weeks. *I love me some B. Cox*

The fellas, B. Cox, and Miss Kate head over to Atlantic records to meet with Steve Lent for their first meeting. Steve listens to the tracks, including the new 3rd single that they had just completed the night before. He says that the vocals aren't as dynamic melodically as he'd like them to be on the first 2 songs but that they are much better on the 3rd song. He encourages them to keep working on things and they are off to meeting number 2. The 2nd meeting is with Jeff Fenster from Jive records. Jeff starts grillin the fellas about their work ethic. He wants to know if they're forreal about being a band. My Dudes step up to the plate and start telling him that they've been working hard and that their vocals are a lot stronger now then they were 3 weeks ago. They also mention the fact that they just KILT a performance at Mansion. So Fenster says, "I want you to do something for me as if you were at Mansion... right now." This obviously shakes the fellas but they man up and start singing. I think I'm most impressed with Rich during this part of the show because he's ALL up in Fenster's face performing the song like he's rapping for his life! He was puttin in work, Son. Again, his rapping skills aren't the hottest but you gotta respect his heart. My man Jeff (98 Degrees) totally let's his nerves get the best of him and he BOMBS! He totally forgets all the words and my heart goes out to him but come on, Son! You've rocked the mic in front of thousands! Don't let Fenster punk you!

Fenster tells the guys that they still have some work to do before they can really become a performing group. He listens to their 3 tracks and he's totally diggin the 3rd track *Me too!*. Then, he TOTALLY ruins the beautiful, hopeful moment by saying, "In the Fenster keep it real department: Bryan... Chris... WEIGHT ISSUES, BROTHA's!" *I want to pass out at this very moment. Call 911... STAT!* B. Love smiles thru the pain and takes the insult like a man. In his Deswollificationfessional he says, "It was constructive criticism." *I woulda had to ... never mind* Chris, on the other hand... if looks could kill, we'd be attending a Fenster keep it real funeral. Fenster encourages them to keep up the good work and he says that he feels they have major potential to make something happen.

So, with a montage of the seasons events playing in the background, Sure Shot gets on the private jet, pops a few bottles of yellow label, *Googgle it, People*, and we are left with our hearts full of hope that our men will get signed to a major record deal and go back to being the pop star God's we all know & love. GOOD LUCK SURE SHOT! I'm rooting for you guys!!!! Well, I'm totally depressed that the season is over, so I'm off to go look at pictures of Twin's abs and chest, in the hopes that my feelings of lust will overtake my feelings of loss. Until next time... don't be a swagger jacker! Get a swagg of your own!

*Note: There are no pics in this article because Blogger was trippin @ 3:41 am and wouldn't let me upload them onto the article. I'll try again later. SORRY!*

*You've just experienced some Groupie Liciousness*