episode 4_eliminationWell, I missed last week's episode, but by most accounts it appears Rock of Love isn't living up to expectations. Until this Episode...

Ignoring tradition, this week's episode begins immediately after 'Eliminations' as Bret retreats to his bedroom for an early night, leaving the ladies to ponder over his decisions.
Brandi M isn't one for ceremony and gets wasted, annoying everyone in the process. (The Q. is wasted as she types. Who's give a flying f@ck if they are annoyed?) But not for long though, as they all retire to bed soon after. (makes you wonder why they bothered with this scene at all)

The next day, Brandi is hungover (I know how that feels, I've been hung for over twenty years) and Lacey is hung up on not winning any challenges. She needs to win these challenges for one on one time with Bret, she 'guesstimates'.
Coincidentally another opportunity arises, as downstairs, uniforms and Bret's message inform them that their latest challenge involves football (or rather that rugby-looking thing Americans call 'football')

The ladies were divided into two teams of four players....'The Sweethearts' (Brandi M, Jes, Magdalena and Mia) and 'The Fallen Angels' (Heather, Lacey, Erin and Sam)
The teams will compete in the Bret Michaels 1st Annual Mud Football Game (I guess he thinks he'll get another show. Hmph!) and the winners receive an awesome date, sans their MVP whose prize is a special date with Bret. (LUCCCCCCKEEEEEEEEEE, maybe he'll remove the wig, which is worst than any wig New York ever wore.)

All dressed in their tank-tops and sweats, the ladies were faced with something resembling 'the frozen tundra of Lambeau field', except it wasn't frozen but muddy and damp. (I wonder if the ladies reading this know what Lambeau field is?)
Sam notes the conditions and wishes she were somewhere else (I used to like you Sam but all this emo shit is just too much) but Jes seems enthusiastic, and Heather too. She used to be a tom-boy you know (with that jawline? You coulda fooled me?)

It's game-time however, with Bret quarter-backing for both teams, John as the referee and some guy named Rodney Scott as the coach (never heard of him. I know a Rodney Scott Harrison, but he ain't him)

On the first play from scrimmage, Sam had this to say about her efforts, "I attempted a tackle but I kind of ended up giving Magdalena a really big hug."
Surprisingly, the ladies aren't bad at all, or maybe it's just good editing. Jes scores a touch-down to give 'The Sweethearts' the lead and then fells Lacey who twists her ankle as she falls clumsily.
The end result is someone has to be benched on 'The Sweethearts' to make it 3 vs 3, and that person turned out to be Brandi M's hungover ass -literally and figuratively.

heather_rock_of_love_ass1-2 hike, and we are back again.
First Jes makes a play any defensive back would be proud of, then she catches for another TD. It's time for Heather to step-up and that she does; running for yardage then receiving for a touch-down to halve the lead. On the ensuing play she takes a short dump-pass (a la the West Coast offense) then bludgeons her way to an equalizing touch-down (losing her pants in the process)
Oh man, I'm actually enjoying this....

The scores are tied, five seconds to go, and Brett decides to go deep, with Jes the target.
Heather tries to give her the old Deion Sanders bump but Jes does not break stride and catches the pass as she slips and slides on the mud.
Touch-down!

Jes is the MVP, her team-mates earn the awesome date and the "bunch o' broken bitches" as Brandi describes them; return home in their mini-van.

At home, Jes is all nerves as she prepares for her 'special date', whilst Lacey got on my last nerve saying, "if I can't win these challenges, I may as well spend my time trying to knock these bitches outta here."

One of those bitches, I presume, is Erin, and as she speaks to her manager (Josh) on the phone, Lacey eavesdrops. Erin learns Justin Timberlake is expected at her workplace (The Underground) and she's upset she missed the opportunity to serve him.
Lacey spills the beans to Heather who thinks writing a letter to Bret about it, and other things is a good idea.
Bret has to wait to read it, though; because it's date-time.

A nervous Jes is escorted by John to a restaurant where she meets Bret on-stage and he sings to her....
He sings because he sucks at dating (what's the big deal? I always suck on my dates and have never had a complaint, lmao)
The date goes well and Jess looks like a million bucks. Forget that; she looks like the Iraq War Budget...the girl is beautiful. (She is beautiful. She should've starred in the 'BRATZ' movie.)
The two make that connection and Jes confesses her last relationship ended when her bf slept with her bff (sounds like bs to me). They kiss tenderly and Jes says, "let me tell ya, he's a good kisser", and "not only do we have that emotional connection, we finally figured out we have this physical connection too."
The date ends with Jes assured of receiving her VIP pass.

The next morning is not a red-letter day as Heather's letter has Bret in a stew, "I'm starting to read this letter but I'm ready to go insane" (sounds like one of Q's email)(What are you typing about? I give as good as I get.)
"Yo Heather", he beckons.

Heather is worried but Bret says he believes her because she's here for him. Heather feels comforted as Bret leaves for his date with the remaining sweethearts, Brandi M, Magdalena and Mia.



Read Pt 2 (Which implant having Bret Breezy gets eliminated? Let us scroll down!)

40 comments

  1. Beebs // 12/8/07 10:08 PM  

    flavs roast is on now on comedy central

  2. steups // 12/8/07 10:19 PM  

    Uhmm, "great recap" might have been a better comment, beebs, lol.
    Thanks for the heads up...I hope Q is watching.

  3. steups // 12/8/07 11:25 PM  

    Q, feel free to add comments and pictures. I'm off

  4. Bubo the Hater // 12/8/07 11:30 PM  

    Ice -T was the funniest at the roast by far.

    Lisa Lampanellie needs to stay off these shows or get another claim to fame. She like black guys, fine.

  5. Diana Crabtree // 13/8/07 1:25 AM  

    This recap was great, and very timely, thanks.

    This time I had already seen the show, so I am not bothered, but you wrote "Part 2 (Erin is eliminated)"

    Why not just write "Part 2"? It sort of ruins the suspense, because at this point you are wondering "is he going to drop Erin? Or will he lose Heather for being a shit stirrer?" If I know, why bother to read part 2?

    I'm just saying

  6. Sawyers_Stash // 13/8/07 2:44 AM  

    You bother to read part two for the witty remarks. i was also bummed Lacey didn't go on the dead animal date.
    My picks are
    Jes-She was the first one I could see myself hanging out with.
    Sam- I work at a tattoo shop. I'm a sucker for girls in sleeves.
    Magdalena-I also dig forgeiners and I think she gets written off alot just because she is tall. I still think she is really good looking.
    Mia-I am still not seeing alot of her. Itmakes mejust think she is going home because they have not focused on her AT ALL
    Brandi m-Maybe it's just this episode, but I don't care for her voice...
    Heather -I beleivesomeone referredto her as old oyster once..dead on.
    Lacey- she's like the psyco girl who writes mean poetry about how much the cheer leaders suck because really thats all she ever wanted. Alternative doesn't have to mean angry.


    Also did anyone watch the roast...when Bridgette went all I kept thinking of was Sapphyri asking Leilene "Oooooh you mad huh?"

  7. The Q // 13/8/07 3:36 AM  

    Steups~

    I really enjoyed being irritated by your recap. EXCELLENT RECAP!

    I could've done w/o all of the Erin lusting.WTF!!!

    Not jealous, just thinking...anyone else but her. I hope E. or Dana blog some sense into you.

    I am going to take my drunk @ss to bed.

    Aurelius that was the sweetest comment EVER anyone left on my MySpace page.

    I hate most men!!! However, Aurelius, BubotheHater, Whiteboy, Mr. New York (until ILNY 2 starts), MJ, Damien ...you all I don't hate.

    And Steups remove my e-mail from the side please. No one needs to be e-mailing me that's what you are for unless they already have it.

    Sawyer~

    Always nice to read your perspective whether I agree or not.

  8. Dana - W for Whatever // 13/8/07 6:49 AM  

    Oh God I missed you ...

    Now THAT is a recap

    I hate you, but I love you(r recaps)

  9. Dana - W for Whatever // 13/8/07 6:59 AM  

    The scores are tied, five seconds to go, and Brett decides to go deep, with Jes the target.
    Heather tries to give her the old Deion Sanders bump but Lacey does not break stride and catches the pass as she slips and slides on the mud.
    Touch-down!


    Now I know nothing about football but that makes ABSOLUTELY NO SENSE especially as Lacey was benched with a broken ankle, no?

  10. steups // 13/8/07 9:33 AM  

    Dana, I love you but I want a divorce from your perfectionist spirit

  11. Dana - W for Whatever // 13/8/07 10:45 AM  

    So, I guess I shouldn't ask whether or not this was an error?:

    "Magdalena is the surprise, hitting every target, which prompts Mia to speculate he must be a Polish spy or something"

    Last week Magdalena was re-christened "Man"dalena but somehow your use of the masculine pronoun instead of the feminine doesn't seem deliberate especially in light of the fact that you usually love to highlight your little quips.

    I'm just saying...

  12. steups // 13/8/07 11:02 AM  

    it was deliberate and I didn't highlight because I am not comfortable insulting women just yet.

    But it's out the bag now, innit?

  13. steups // 13/8/07 11:03 AM  

    You know, I don't laugh at my stuff, but now that I've added the smiley to the comment in pt2...that shit is hiiiiiiiiilarious, lmao.

    "white people" ---OMG, that is funny.

  14. Dana - W for Whatever // 13/8/07 11:14 AM  

    You're not comfortable insulting woman???????

    Put a smiley face next to that sh*t!!!

    OMG, THAT is funny

  15. steups // 13/8/07 11:19 AM  

    you have something to say, Dana?
    All those love letters via e-mail aren't good enough, uh?

  16. Dana - W for Whatever // 13/8/07 11:32 AM  

    I don't know what love letters you are talking about or who you are sending them to, but they certainly aren't being sent to me.

    And yes, I have lots to say - but I am holding my peace

  17. steups // 13/8/07 11:52 AM  

    To think what I sacrificed to sustain our friendship and this is what I get.

    Ungratefulness is worse than witch-craft

  18. Electra (trinidad) // 13/8/07 12:43 PM  

    Hmmmmm meh boy know his Proverbs boy. LOL

  19. Electra (trinidad) // 13/8/07 12:48 PM  

    Anywayz.... good day all. I went back on my word and looked at ROL late last night.

    That Erin is some piece of work huh? LOL Imagine her saying something about "knowing bigger and better stars than Bret". LOL

  20. revenge // 13/8/07 12:54 PM  

    one of the better episodes.

    and that flava flav roast was bananas.

  21. Electra (trinidad) // 13/8/07 1:02 PM  

    Awwww shucks I could not watch the Flav Roast cause I was taking careo of my sick babies and by the time they settled down I looked at the re-run of ROL

  22. steups // 13/8/07 1:13 PM  

    I couldn't and wouldn't watch the Roast.
    I am too sensitive to enjoy insults. I was raised the right way...

  23. revenge // 13/8/07 1:37 PM  

    steupsy

    if you were raised the RIGHT way, then im so ecstatic i was raised teh WRONG way.

    three cheers for my parents.

  24. Electra (trinidad) // 13/8/07 2:04 PM  

    LOL!!!!! Maybe of the insults might make me uncomfortable BUT I have to have a look see first. :)

  25. ShakazP // 13/8/07 2:07 PM  

    does anyone know the ratings for this show and has it topped out any of flav's ratings?

  26. Dana - W for Whatever // 13/8/07 2:20 PM  

    To think what I sacrificed to sustain our friendship and this is what I get.

    What did you sacrifice Nick - your presence of mind?????

    Hey Rev :-)!!!!!! Hey E :-)!!!!!

  27. Electra (trinidad) // 13/8/07 2:28 PM  

    Hey Dana baby how u doing darling?

  28. Dana - W for Whatever // 13/8/07 2:30 PM  

    Hey E. I'm okay except I have a little annoying headache that won't go away

  29. Electra (trinidad) // 13/8/07 2:49 PM  

    OR I see sorry to hear that. Did u check your facebook today? I wrote something on your wall

  30. here4beer // 13/8/07 3:06 PM  

    steups said...

    I couldn't and wouldn't watch the Roast. I am too sensitive to enjoy insults.

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA...

    *gasp*

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAA!

  31. Electra (trinidad) // 13/8/07 3:13 PM  

    LLLLLLOOOOOOOLLLLLLLLLL!!!!!!!! @ Here4beer

  32. Dana - W for Whatever // 13/8/07 3:13 PM  

    I know here4beer. That needed a smiley face too

  33. The Q // 13/8/07 3:22 PM  

    Dana your presence here saved me.

    He sacrificed objurgating me on a daily in e-mail.

    I THANK YOU!

  34. here4beer // 13/8/07 3:30 PM  

    lol... what's happening everyone?

    I miss TXShawty :(

  35. Dana - W for Whatever // 13/8/07 3:44 PM  

    I reaaaaaaaaalllllllllllly miss Tx too (and the Trenchcoat)

    Q - That's what he sacrificed???? Ah well! Anything for you, I guess

  36. Electra (trinidad) // 13/8/07 4:04 PM  

    TX cant access here from work anymore. :(

    Q u really look great in this pic. I am jealous cause someone tricked me into putting texturizer in my natural locks I was growing for 5yrs and it never washed out (like she said it would) so I had to cut all off and start fresh.

    Then I could not....well its been 9mths since I chopped it off and its getting there.... :(

  37. Marie // 13/8/07 4:21 PM  

    Ya'll need a post on the Flava Flav roast ASAP!!! That show was bananas!!!! Snoop and Lisa were halarious!!!

  38. The Q // 13/8/07 4:34 PM  

    Maria~

    I didn't watch it. I had to watch Rock of Love.

    Dana~

    I appreciate you.

    Electra~

    If you were here, I'd do your Sisterlocks gratis. That's what I have, I love them. What '@#$%' told you to put texturizer in your locks. GEEZUS! I know of a creme that will do what you need w/o alterating your hair chemically.

    I miss TXShawty too. And Groovy, Dorfam, NV and Irre Dee.

  39. steups // 13/8/07 5:32 PM  

    I know who I am, and no amount of hateful comments will make me think otherwise.
    I am a good person.

  40. The Q // 13/8/07 6:37 PM  

    LMAO.

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