Rock of Love Recap Episode 5 Pt 2

Turns out the awesome date was at the shooting range (white people
On their way to the range, Bret appears obsessed by Erin's fascination with Justin Timberlake and declares, "I'm a notcher, I make the notches, not Erin" (he's a catch ain't he?)

At the range, Mia is first up (Mia looks damn good by the way) and confesses she's never held a gun before (must be dating Asian men. Sorry K.)
Brandi follows and successfully shoots soda.

Magdalena is the surprise, hitting every target, which prompts Mia to speculate he must be a Polish spy or something (lol) (Laugh it up...I'm thinking former Polish Spy who's career ended after sex change.) She promises to never shoot Bret; but I'd be more worried about falling asleep next to her if I were he (you might wake up pregnant)

Target shooting concluded, Bret takes the ladies for lunch and directs the conversation back to Heather and her letter. Brandi M says as a female she can't trust her and informs Bret she (Heather) was on 'Surreal life' and tried to bang Vanilla Ice (that's a death sentence in some countries) (Am I the only one who wanted Lacey at that lunch surrounded by slaughtered, stuff animals? Btw, one of the mooses looked actually like me in the morning.)
It's all too much for Bret and he forgets which VH-1 reality show he's on, saying "I, Bret Michaels will not be played" (that's the 9th CS commandment innit?)

Back at the mansion Heather and Lacey formalize their alliance as they discuss their 'target', Erin; but the 'target' interrupts them with her damn fine self.
Erin is so sexy she might make Wendy Williams' penis surface again.

I know the NAACP buried the N-word. However this N@#$%& here makes me want to cuss. Erin so damn fine my big toe in Steups' @ss!

Minutes must have passed because 'The Sweethearts' return from their 'awesome date' and immediately confront Heather about her underhandedness. But she denies it all, saying the letter was about her.
Lacey, who was part of the delegation, thinks now might be a good time to chat with Bret about Erin's celebrity-obsession. Doing so would lend credibility to Heather's charge and reinforce their alliance. Bret listens to her but warns he has doubts about Heather as well.

As they chat, Brandi M brings Erin up to speed and hopes for a clash between her and Heather. Erin duly obliges, but the clash turns out to be a dud, although we did get an extended shot of Erin's ass in 'dem' jeans, which was nice. (What @ss?!)
Meanwhile, Bret leaves his chat with Lacey saying, "both of them are about to be eliminated."

Eliminations:
Before they gather, Erin says, "one day Heather will be 60yrs old (that's not much of a prediction) with 5 children and a 300lb man" (now that's a prediction, lol). But it's elimination time and the ladies look on nervously as Bret and John take their spot.
In order Bret offers VIP passes to..

1. Jes
2. Mia
3. Brandi M
4. Lacey
5. Magdalena
6. Sam

...before pausing to dramatize his final choice.

In the end he goes with his gut and chooses Heather, eliminating a not too displeased Erin who says, "I have plenty of men waiting on me in Chicago."
And to make correct Heather's accusation, Erin adds, "quite frankly, I am sick of the bullshit; and really, I have had bigger and better stars than Bret Michaels"
Oooooh. (Since when has being a celebrity sperm toilet been a good move? My bad Karrine Steffans, I digress.)

So that's that; next week it's Bret's birthday party and Sam is emo-ing again (yeahhh, I can hardly wait)

Thanks for reading. (Yeah thanks for reading.) *leaves for another drink
Pt1