After delays and postponement VH-1 finally aired Flavor of Love's Reunion Show: After the lovin', and all I can say is it was worth the wait.
The host for the night was Lala which means she has now completed the cycle from BET to MTV to VH-1, which puts her in the same league as Justin Timberlake or something.
Which reminds me, where is Justin Timberlake?
I am not a fan or anything, but I am curious.
Anyway, between advertisements for Propel flavored water and Windows XP (where's Vista?), the first ten Flavor of Love girls to be eliminated were introduced.
If you are a fan of useless information the ten are, Cherries, Picasso, Smokey, Shellez, Bubblez, Miss Latin, Dimplez, Apples, Georgia and Rain.
Nothing happened with that clique except for Rain begging Flava Flav for a date and Georgia lamenting Flav's inability to discern the 'realest' women on the show.
I use slanguage as mush as anyone, well, except for Snoop Dogg; but couldn't Georgia have said 'genuine' instead of 'realest'?
What about Rain? The woman is angrier than Bill O'Reilly!
And here I thought the popularity of Star Jones had signaled the end of the angry black female.
Next up were Peaches (the caucasianest woman alive), Serious, and Sweetie who reiterated in her 'joisey' accent that Flav Flav was 'retarted'. She is the only person outside of the Gambino family proud of a New Jersey accent.
Red Oyster came out and we learnt she was 'very diabolical, very menacing' and very married; but at this point no one really cared.
Hottie came next, flashing her underwear and foot-long eye-lashes but looking quite attractive to be honest. I know she believes she looks like Beyonce but that's no reason to borrow fashion ideas from Tina Knowles.
The 17th returnee was Smiley looking all not good in a half-complete outfit. Surely Smiley could have done better than that, but she's from Canada so what do you expect.
Finally it was time for the main event, New York vs Pumkin.
Borrowing from the Jerry Springer Show VH-1 held the protagonists in separate rooms and therein New York delivered the first of three classic verses to Pumkin...
"New York is in the mother-fu**ing house. You think I forgot about that shit?"
"New York is on your ass in 5, 4, 3, 2, motherf**king 1!"
Ha! Somebody get this girl in a sitcom.
Y'all feel her?
The Queen (New York) entered the ring with an Egyptian pose and looking great. If she's a transvestite then more women need to look like transvestites.
New York (Tiffany Patterson) wore a black diamond-trimmed bustier with straight-legged trousers and I'll say it again, she looked great!
The studio audience cheered her entrance and some of the Flavor of Love girls as well. Rain however was looking sour as usual and Cherries got herself evicted for getting into it with New York.
What was her problem?
Does she not know New York was the star of the show?
Pumkin was introduced and truth betold she looked quite nice but you could see the fear in her eyes. To which New York warned her that her (New York's) "ass has been on pause but I am fitting to press play in a motherfucking millisecond."
New York deserves a Pulitzer, nowhere else can you get alliteration like that.
Pumkin said a few unimportant things in her defense and it still galls me that none of the contestants saw it fit to say Pumkin you were wrong, no one deserves to be spat upon, but maybe they didn't because Tiffany showed she can speak for herself.
Pumkin having said her piece, New York arose from her seat; and though Big Rick tried to intervene she sought to ease his fear that a fracas would occur. Stepping close to Pumkin she said...
"I ain't gonna spit in your face because I have way more motherfucking class than you. I am however gonna bitchslap you..."
And with that she delivered a back-hand slap to Pumkin's face. Unfortunately Big Rick blocked most of it but Pumkin's face was struck. I have waited for that for a month and since I am repeating myself I'll say, it was worth the wait.
Pumkin, of course, ran like the coward little bitch she is, or should I say the smart coward little bitch she is, because I would have run too...
There was a little debating thing set up but that was largely inconsequential because New York knocked over the lectern to get at Pumkin and Pumkin, of course, ran for safety.
The entertainment was at an end for me but still there was one person missing and that person was Hoopz who entered to moderate applause and a generous hug from Flav Flav.
When asked by Lala about the status of the relationship Flav mumbled incoherently then deferred to Hoopz for a response.
The audience could sense that their love had lost its flavor and Flava Flav confirmed this when he said "I wished I had picked someone with more time for me."
Awwwwwwww.
Asked if he would have to do this all over again, Flav agreed, and all but confirmed we have Flavor of Love Season 2 to view this summer. And quite frankly that suits me just fine.
Hopefully the VH-1 producers hires New York for at least a guest appearance because I can't get enough of that girl.
Bye.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Dude you have to start a new blog I can't wait for another season to read your stuff
Great blog and great writing
I hope you continue to write about the girls until season 2 begins
I love and agree with your opinions about Flava of Love. However, I do not think that Flav should do it again, he is looking for love in all the wrong place, but if there is a reunion show I will watch it>
did you happen to notice the lesbian in pumkin's myspace? speculative. i think the trashy idiot is dabbling, and ooh, i hope the girl is protecting herself...*shivers*
Ha. I saw it, sorry, her.
The otherg irl looks familiar though but I can't place her, doesn't look gay to me but then again I am no expert on what is and what isn't a lesbian.
I'll grab the pictures and make up...oops, write something about it.
I still think my girl New York should have won because she was real and she a GUTTA BITCH.
You should have slappes that bitch for spitting in your face.I know I would have, but you was being a REAL WOMAN THAT YOU ARE......
steups---(on pumkin's lover), lol, you can't place her because she looks like half of the westcoast lesbians i've ever seen/encountered, the androgynous/femme/butch ones depending on the day (think L-Word). i don't think she's famous, but have you actually checked out the girl's page? pumkin writes on her wall about loving this girl, vice versa. and even one of her (courtney's) friends raises speculation since they recently just met. i'm concerned with this not because pumkin was that interesting of a person (i'm way more compelled to read up on hoopz, who i "met" a couple of weeks ago, at a club, btw), but because i've encountered these bi-curious females, really really unaware of their compulsion to "try-out" the lifestyle. damn me if the most hated white trash chick on reality tv is gonna claim this lesbian identity. fuck, we have ENOUGH misrepresentations ALREADY. damn these people. now if HOOPZ suddenly wanted to be open with her sexuality (which i'm not sure is, but hoping is, not straight), then i'm more receptive. she has self-respect (at least the hoopz most of america knows about) that pumkinhead really really lacks. okay, so sorry. this was longer than i intended.
(olivia, previously anonymous two posts ago, minus your response, that is)
That is the most interesting comment I have read on here. It seems to me that bi-curious women are exactly what society needs to bridge the gap between heterosexuals and homosexuals.
The whole idea that there can be an army of women and men who tried it and can speak with some sort of personal experience doesn't seem to be a wholly a bad thing in my opinion.
The only reason homosexuality has become so easy on the eye and on the mind is because of the representation we see on television and the people we meet everyday.
Anyone who adds to that even it is for some sort of selfish curiousity can't be all bad, no?
Ha. I can't wait for your updates
I found the reunion show to be pretty anticlimactic actually. They showed the best parts on the commercials leading up to it so I felt like I was watching a RERUN, as opposed to a reUNION (there doesn't seem to be a whole lot of unity there either). I think New York WOULD kick Pumkin's ass if given the chance and I think she'd win because Pumkin keeps proving herself to be a big coward. They should've just done a separate show for New York and Pumkin; I was interested in hearing more from the other girls but the whole NY vs. Pumkin rivalry took precedence and pretty much dominated 90% of the show.
I used to hate New York but I've grown fond of her if only because she is so HILARIOUS...and definitely knows how to play to the camera (so she'll be a great actress if that's the road she plans on going). I think she should have her OWN show, at this point she is way more interesting than Flava Flav. I shudder at the idea of a Season 2 because it's obvious he's just doing it for the publicity and I don't think he really cares about finding someone to settle down with (although I think New York would've happily obliged had he picked her but now she seems to have lost respect for him, which is pretty hilarious in itself when you think about the irony).
I also find it pretty hard to believe that no one knew Hoopz was a model too. A FEW girls were let go because Flav felt they were just doing it to further their career, meanwhile there's Hoopz playing it cool and acting kind of butch when in fact, she has the most smokin body I've ever seen. I don't see why everyone was so surprised when it was made public that there was in fact, no relationship between Flav and Hoopz and personally I don't think there ever was.
Not surprised about Pumpkin coming out as a lesbian however I agree with the other person here who speculated that perhaps she is really just bi-curious. It is possible that Hoopz may be into women as well, I myself am a bi female but I would give up men for Hoopz, she is just so STUNNINGLY BEAUTIFUL! (and too good for Flav).
Screw a season two, give New York her own show!!! She's everyone's favorite train wreck (or would that be tran-wreck? ha ha).
I would love to tune in to another fla flavor season 2 but this time he need to pick some girls that are worthly of his time