Charm School Episode 6 recap

So Courtney (Goldie) is gone, and good riddance. But for some heavy tongue kissing with Flavor Flav she hasn't offered much entertainment in either of the shows in which she starred.
Truth is, she should not have been cast for 'Charm School'. Her place should have been 'Somethin's' or 'Spunkeey's'.

And that's what Darra's (Like Dat) saying in the opening shot of Episode 6, "she didn't need no change so she needed to go."
With that it was time for the next Commandment, 'Thou shall payeth back', which made Brooke (Pumkin) think they were going to work at the side of the road with prisoners. (Uh? Bush's reasons to go to War made better sense than that...)

Mo'Nique explains that she has been very fortunate to have the means to give back, and today the girls are going to give the clothes off their back (and in their suitcases too), to a local charity thrift store (Out of the Closet, owned and operated by AIDS Healthcare Foundation)
Each lady needs a partner; their team-mate in the challenge, and they will take their clothes, shoes, handbags or whatever to 'Out of the Closet' for sale at a determined monetary value.
And then Mo'Nique drops the bombshell, "the team that donates the largest amount of money, will win the challenge, and will be totally safe from being expelled. But the other teams...two ladies will be expelled, as a team."

Saaphyri is a bit worried because she doesn't have much stuff (she must not be counting her ass and breasts)
Hottie has other concerns, "I spend most of my money on couture, which is like my favorite thing to wear 'cause it feels really good, and like, are they going to be able to benefit from these gowns?" (she is like, so annoying)

Becky asks Saaphyri to partner her (Why Becky? Why? She's a plain-ass mess)
Larissa and Shay team up (I'd love to have a threesome with those two)
Darra and Schatar formed a pair (Maybe it's because they both have college degrees)
And Leilene and Brooke are back together again (Watch her Leilene, she thinks you're sexy)

Actually, the reason Brooke picked Leilene (in her own words) is..."she had three suitcases of stuff and she was bound to have a lot of shit in there"
Shay is quietly confident because, "Brooke is cheap, Leilene is cheap and Darra is cheap as hell" (and Saaphyri beats people for flowers so you know she ain't got shit)

As it turned out, Saaphyri wasn't kidding around, she decided to take everything she "got" to the thrift store.
Leilene had a dilemma of her own. She wants to give away her mom's ring; her dead mother's ring. She's doing that because, "her life is gone and if this is gonna help save somebody else's life" she'd be happy to donate her "keepsake"
(I think that qualifies as stupidity rather than unselfish; but that's just me)

The ladies are all rummaging through their clothes, selecting the things they want to sell or keep; under the watchful eyes of Mikki Taylor.
Mikki Taylor is supposed to be likeable (Quanda said so before she left); but that's yet another thing Q and I will never agree on. This woman is platitudinous to the point of insult.
She says things you'd reject on a postcard like, "it's not about the quantity of what you give; to me it's about the quality of the heart and you are giving with the most wonderful spirit". (does she know the rules of the challenge?)
I doubt it, but that's the shit she told Saaphyri when the snowcone head, woman beater was crying because she had nothing to give. (has it dawned on you yet that Saaphyri isn't my favorite?)

And what annoys me further is Buckwild has fallen prey to Saaphyri's gimmick; and believe me, Saaphyri is all gimmick.
But enough with the editorializing; let's return to the recap...

Sale, No-sale
At the thrift shop the girls bargain with the sales guys (decently mannered gentlemen I have to say) and the first pair is Brooke and Leilene.
Leilene's clothes were either lace or see-through and as Keith said,"when your clothes say 'skank' it may not be the best thing to sell" (lmwbhao)
It got worse when Brooke found out they prefer clothes that "isn't directly worn on your breast or vagina" (I mean, really? Why would anyone take panties to a thrift shop? Bras I get; but not panties)
They were becoming a tad desperate as many of their items were rejected for stains and discolorations (with all those women in the house, Brooke's panties must have a lot of stains) and that prompted Leilene to offer her mother's ring for sale.
Brooke distances herself from the sale of the "keepsake" (under the gallons of spit there might be a heart, after all)

Leilene is adamant though (reminding us once again that it's her mom's ring) and receives $90, "take it or leave it".

Next are Shay and Larissa with the designer stuff, and they are immediately rebuffed. Shay asks for $50 for a pair of '7 jeans' (which seems fair to me because that shit costs like $200 each) but the guys are in no mood to be generous; it being for charity and all that.

Schatar and Darra came with the couture stuff but a lot of it was rejected because of a "funny smell"
Schatar's clothes were also rejected because it had a hoe in it...oops, I meant a hole in it.

And then came Becky and Saaphyri....
Saaphyri offers up a boots bought for $300 (rejected because of a stain) and $200 (offered $15 for it)

Wait a goddamn minute. You have $500 invested in two boots and you're crying because you have nothing to give?
The second mentioned boots was bought with your rent money which is the kind of shit that embarrasses black people. And if your rent is $200, you must be living in the top-floor of someone's refrigerator. (they kicked off Serious for her?)

Mind you, if someone offered me fifteen dollars for 2 1/2 months of rent I'd be hella mad. And Saaphyri was even madder dan dat (that's a Trini reference only Electra and Dana will get)

Saaphyri got mad upset (that's slang, not poor English) and grabbed her clothes, boots and whatnots. As she put it,"he was making me feel like my whole being was worth nothing" (This is what gets me with Saaphyri; she can move from stupid to Sartre in a single sentence)
And back to stupid again...
As Becky tried to becalm her and the attendant reiterated that he's just doing his job; Saaphyri found herself on the floor at the back of the store wiping snot from her nose with one of the items on sale. (smh)
Then she had an epiphany when it suddenly dawned on her that she should get up off that nice, juicy, thick, shapely ass of hers and contribute to her team.
Unbelievably her tantrum was rewarded with a $20 offer for the boots.

As the ladies sat in the bus to be driven home, Saaphyri sees an old woman leave 'Out of the Closet' with her boots. She chases the woman (I thought she'd rob her) and asks "how much did you pay for those?". The woman says "twenty" and Saaphyri's reply was "enjoy"

Back at the mansion
Challenge completed, Darra offers clothes to Saaphyri because she (Saaphyri) allegedly sold everything she owned at the thrift shop (well almost). But Saaphyri takes it the wrong way (given a choice this lunatic will always choose the wrong way) and believes Darra is...well who gives a fuck what she believes because it was wrong and dumb, anyway.

The two argue back and forth, with Saapyhri doing most of the "backing and forthing" until Mo'Nique interrupts the drama with an announcement to gather at the Grand Hall.
As they leave, Saaphyri screams at Darra, "fake ass, fake ass, fake fat-ass" (fake hair, fake hair, fake-ass hair)

The Result
At the hall, Mo'Nique reminds the ladies that "two people are going home tomorrow".
Darra's and Schatar's items added up to a donation of $641
Becky's and Saaphyri's totaled $868
Leilene and Brooke sold $823
And the pairing of Larissa and Shay negotiated $871.

Cruelly, Mo'Nique says the winners are Larissa and Shay........"until Leilene gave up her mother's ring"
The $90 for the ring gives them a net of $913, securing them victory and a prize of a shopping spree at 'Forever 21'.
Anddddddd, they can pick another team to accompany them.
Larissa was gracious as ever..."apparently stripper clothes are worth a lot more than I thought, unless she gave them a blowjob. Damn crack-whore!"

The next morning Leilene and Brooke select Darra and Schatar because they were the only team to congratulate them on their victory.

At Forever 21 the girls go manic at the opportunity of free clothes, particularly Schatar who amputates a mannequin to get at a white mini-skirt.
The real drama, however, is unfolding at home as Larissa and Shay -scared of being called to the carpet- engineer a plot to frame Schatar by hiding pictures of Leilene's mother under Schatar's mattress.

Saaphyri is plotting on her own; visiting Mo'Nique in her office to explain her side of the argument. Cleverly, she uses the opportunity when Darra is away at the shopping spree so her side and hers alone is heard.
Using her usual fake tears and feel-sorry-for-me speech she deceives Mo'Nique who goes so far as to use her drama-queen shit to explain away her beating a woman on Flavor of love 2.
(Mo'Nique can't be that dumb, can she?)

All the ladies are back home now and Leilene is searching for her picture (the only photos she has of her mother and children together).
With prompting from Larissa, the picture is discovered under Schatar's mattress.
Accusations and counter-accusations ensue but the only thing proven is Flavor Flav is a hell of a lot smarter than Mo'Nique because he would have asked to see the video; I think.
Mo'Nique did not; and after a meeting with Leilene and Schatar to hear their take on the 'theft', it was pretty clear Schatar would be going home.

Elimination
At elimination Mo'Nique reiterates the point of the challenge and singles out Leilene for going above and beyond.
Darra and Schatar are called to the carpet because they gave the least amount of money.
Becky and Saaphyri escape because Saaphyri "gave up everything "; but that's bullshit because 90% of her stuff was rejected.
Becky is ecstatic and says she wants "to pick Saaphyri up and just throw her around" (ever heard of Akon?)
Larissa and Shay are thus called 'down' to the carpet by default.

Dean Keith then addresses Schatar to say she seemed to not bring many items and instead relied on high-quality, but warned her that, "even at a thrift store, polyester is not considered high-quality" (Oh snap, lol)

Larissa and Shay were told they "walked out of the store with about as much as they brought in" and missed the point about generosity as they harangued over pricing.
And of course an elimination ceremony is incomplete without one of Mikki Taylor's aphorisms..."don't let your possessions, possess you" (yawn)

It's Mo'Nique's turn now and she polls the contestants, asking each in turn (including Leilene) if they took Leilene's pictures. All deny responsibility (including the culprits), though Shay could barely contain her guilt.

Mo'Nique turns to Schatar to say she has no proof and has to rely on history... "and history says that you're a thief" (damnnnnnn)
She goes farther, "when you do clownery; the clown comes back to bite"
With that she expels Schatar and her partner, Darra.

Darra, who really likes the sound of her own voice says "I wanted to learn from the mistakes that I was going to make so I ain't have to make them any more" (at least you learnt feathers are not a substitute eyelash)
Mo'Nique then warns the thief that Karma will get them.

One final speech remained and it was delivered by Mo'Nique to Leilene, "with you giving away your mother's ring, you gave away memories. You gave away what you can pass down to your daughter"
Mo'Nique says, "I am honored to be in your presence " and returns the ring to Leilene.

That's it, show ended.
Thanks for reading.

Next week New York returns, so hopefully I'll have a more enthusiastic recap.