Charm School Episode 5 recap

Is it me, or is Charm School becoming too similar to 'The Apprentice'?
That's not what we want!
Sure Flavor Flav and New York were random at times but there was a method in 't. Mo'Nique is just too whimsical; there is no synergy between the Episodes before and the most current Episode.
But; whatever, it's her show...so let's get to the recap of Flavor of Love Girls: Charm School, Episode 5.

"I think Brooke is so nasty", said Larissa (Bootz), as she and Shay (Buckeey) recall the night before where Brooke (Pumkin) played tongue-wrestling with some random guy.
Thankfully Mo'Nique interrupts with an announcement that the ladies should board the Charm School bus to be taken to their next assignment.

Before they take their seats, the girls ponder the meaning of the Commandment that governs today's assignment; Charm School Commandment 6, 'Thou shalt mind thy money'.
(seems straight-forward to me; as easy as 10 x 3 = 30)

At the rendezvous they are prepped by Mo'Nique, "now to be a fabulous woman, we all need to know how to make, our own living. We can-not, depend on anyone else, to pay our bills."
And with that she introduces the 'guest Professor', Sara Horowitz Thran. (the creator and fragrance designer of 'Creative Scentualizations)

She's there because she turned a hobby into a multi-million dollar business (I hate those people) and hopefully she'll assist the girls in their challenge to, "make, market and sell their own custom fragrance"
Professor Thran advises the girls that "whatever your dream is inside of you, it does not matter where you come from or what you've studied. If you have a passion for it, a belief in it...and you can move forward with persistence; you can achieve your goals"
(yawns...they always say that shit when what we really want to hear is an 'idea' so we can become rich too)

She did say, however, that the most important thing to consider at the end of the day is "what do you want your customer to feel; how do you want them to react."

With the clichés out of the way it was time for serious stuff, like pricing, marketing and cost of sales; but there was still time for silly stuff...like Brooke's opinion of Bootz, "I think Larissa is going to have the hardest time with this because she smells like a rotten orange..."
(I thought I heard 'rotten whore' for some reason?)

Everything progressed smoothly until Sarah Thran changed the topic to COG...Cost of Goods. You see 'Cost of Goods' involves math and that's one, four-letter word the ladies don't appreciate at all.
Buckwild says "when I see a math equation on the board, I'm a little worried"
(but it's not like it's 10 x 3 or something)

Turns out the math equation was "10 X 3 =", and that was too much math for the ladies to handle. Buckwild said she can handle up to 9's; but 10's are too big for her (it's good to know Buckwild can handle me)
And that was that...

With Professor Thran gone, Dean Mikki Taylor took center-stage to say the fragrance created would be sold by the ladies at an open-air mall in Hollywood. "The team that makes the largest profit from the sale of their scent will be safe from expulsion at the next elimination"

Mikki then announces there will be three teams to be headed by three CEO's (Shay, Larissa and Brooke). The CEO's, as a group, will interview the remaining 6 contestants as a precursor to choosing two, to form their sales teams.
Mo'Nique then explains to the viewing public the reasons for their choices of CEO's, "I feel like we need to see more from Brooke; like she never seems like she was really present. Then we selected Larissa and Shay...they are so dependent on each other; we wanted to split them up and see how well they got along without each other"
(makes sense to me)

Before the ladies began their interviews, ideas are already forming in their heads about the team they want. Shay wants Becky (Buckwild) because, "people notice her a lot. They'll notice her before they notice me (not from the back Shay. Not from the back; 'lawd hammercy' at this woman's ass)

The Interviews
Buckwild was shown first and when asked by Brooke if she'd ever sold anything, her answer was "weed"

Shay believes Courtney (Goldie) can use her humor to help her team (what humor?)
And Brooke asks what was her (Courtney's) first job (why?). Turns out it was at McDonald's® and she was fired for "giving away food" (smh, she knows damn well she ate all the missing food)

Schatar (Hottie) thought she should be hired because she is "very driven". Shay decides she wants Schatar on her team because "she can talk her way through anything"

Next up was Saaphyri who gives a demonstration of her sales skill, behaving like one of those shysters you see on 125th Street in Harlem.

Darra (Like Dat) said "I sell my ass off" (she has a background in pharmaceutical sales) and made her 'pitch', but Shay saw it as rambling and was quite rude to her.

Leilene (Smiley), was last (what's new) and she must have thought she was interviewing for a real job because she asked questions like, "what does your company stand for?" (huh?)
As she exited, the girls laughed at her (not nice at all)

So it was time to choose teams and it was clear no one wanted Leilene. It was also clear that Larissa and Shay were ganging up on Brooke and they made their selections (you had to choose from pictures on the table) whilst Brooke was still in debate mode. That meant Brooke was forced to accept Darra and Leilene, with Shay choosing Schatar and Becky and Larissa leading Courtney and Saaphyri
(at this point it was obvious Larissa would lose because she had no one to capture the white audience. If I were a white woman, Saaphyri would scare me)

The next step was the CEO's announcement of their selection. Larissa and Shay did so, with little explanation to their selections, but Brooke chose the other route, "I chose Darra because you are older and I think that you're more educated and you handle yourself very well. And I chose Leilene because you're sexy (hmmn) and I think you would use your assets to the best of your advantage"

Larissa, being the asshole she can be, decided to "check" Brooke and told Leilene, "she didn't want you".
Brooke might be a nasty piece of work, but she's no fool. Caught between a rock and a hard-place she simply spoke the truth, "let's keep it real, nobody wanted you sweetheart, but you're sexy so you'll sell" (again with the sexy)

Leilene simply said, "I respect that; that's fine (my eyes watered at this shit, like for real). I know that no team wanted me, but, hey, some team has to have me. Whoever it is, I know that they are lucky (I'm crying now, Tyra-style)

The teams dispersed to create their scent and discuss marketing and other matters. Sarah Tran, (I thought she'd left), addressing Larissa's team told them that using a scent that reminds them of a time in their life would be a useful beginning towards creating their scent
Hers was honey-suckle, Saaphyri's was "gasoline" (and people wonder why she isn't one of my favorites)

Next on the list was choosing a name (well maybe it wasn't but I need to speed thing up because this recap is much longer than it ought to be). Shay's team chose 'Icon', Brooke's team chose 'Flavor of Love' and Larissa used hers and her team-members' names to choose La'sa'cour
With the scents created, it was back to the mansion to work on bottle design and presentation.

At home, all the items needed for marketing, display and a poster were on the table to be accessed (Shay just murdered a mustard colored tights. What a body that girl has)

Brooke's team "followed the line that sex sells" and took pictures of themselves in the nude for their poster. Observing them Shay said, "Brooke's team look(s) like a bunch of whores, Leilene with her fake boobs; that is like the fakest (sic) cleavage I've ever seen..."

Downstairs, the ladies saw an announcement; the CEO's of the losing teams will automatically be called down to the carpet.


The next morning (Sales Day)
The ladies board the bus and are taken to Hollywood and Highland Center where they set up shop for their two hours of sales.
Larissa's subordinates are nowhere to be seen, Buckwild is using that noticeable personality of hers to drum up interest whilst Brooke's team are moving like a well oiled machine.

Leilene removes her sweats to spray the scent on her bosom for guys to sniff. It didn't seem like that big of a deal to me but the guys seem to love it and their perfume is selling like hot-bread.
Meanwhile, Larissa's team is using Buckwild's "gimmick" (that's my description) informing potential customers that part proceeds of sales will be given to breast-cancer research.

Courtney chooses the worst time ever, to confess, "even though I do stand-up comedy, I feel like real nervous, you know, in front of people" (wtf?)

It's all going smashingly well for Brooke and then it gets even better..

Random guy: are you Pumkin?
Brooke: I am Pumkin
Random guy: Ohhh man, I love that show

Random guy (who is like, totally famous now) says, "spit on me...I'll like totally buy one"
So, what do you expect, she spat on him.

:::Yes, it's a competition but you'd think she would have the class to say, 'No thank you. I don't want to re-create that moment in my life':::

The two hours raced by very quickly but not too fast to appreciate Brooke's team were clearly superior.

Back home Larissa is peeved (that's for you B) at everything in life. She starts up with Leilene again (we learn Leilene has been stripping since she was 17)

The result
Dean Keith Lewis begins with La'sa'cour and asks "what exactly are you donating before I give you your tally?"
I would have said 'I changed my mind', but Larissa answered "a dollar from each profit that we got."
They sold 75 bottles for $240 and their final total was $165

Shay's team said they would give 5% of their earnings. That meant their final tally was $318

Brooke's team made no promise to donate to cancer research and won with $463 in sales. In shock, Buckwild joked "they must have been selling some pussy on the side"

As the CEO's of the losing teams, Keith told Larissa and Shay they "have a free ticket to the carpet"
The departure of Keith and Mikki sparks wild celebration among Team Brooke's members.

Shay and Larissa contemplate being in the firing line for the first time and thereafter Larissa decides to call her boy (she said "my man", but if a man was tapping that, she wouldn't be so damn angry all the time)
Without saying much the call was dropped and Larissa blamed Brooke for disconnecting the line.
An argument ensued.
For a few minutes they argued back and forth, blah blah blah, and of course Larissa said her usual shit, "if you do somethin', I'ma knock you out" (why don't you do somethin', yer dumbass)

Larissa storms off to ask Mo'Nique to "am I leaving so I can fuck this bitch up, right now" (yawns)
In Mo'Nique's office, Larissa (looking hella pretty, by the way) asks if she is going home tonight (knowing damn well she won't get the answer)

She relates the reason behind her outburst and Mo'Nique then asks Brooke to join them.
Brooke, the smart little scamp she is, says she doesn't want to quote her because she can't remember exactly what she said; but remembers Larissa calling her a "white bitch".
And then plays up her use of 'white', in effect forcing Mo'Nique's hand. (I now have respect for Brooke)

Mo'Nique turns to Larissa and asks her if she's ready to go home. To which she answers, "No".
Mo'Nique then says , "if you are not ready to go home, don't make threats like that."
She tells Brooke to apologize and Larissa does just that (Larissa is just talk)

Elimination Ceremony
At Elimination, Larissa and Shay are called down to the carpet.
Larissa is asked who should join them on the carpet and she opts for Courtney.
Buckwild doesn't seem upset by her (Courtney's) selection and calls her a "neutral bitch"

Keith and Mikki address Shay and Larissa respectively. Then Keith says to Courtney, "I feel you just occupy a seat; and I don't need a seat-warmer" (uh-oh, I think we know who's going home)
It's Mo'Nique's turn now; and she tells Shay, "I appreciate your growth". Larissa is given the usual mother-daughter chat.
She then turns to Courtney and says she is straddling the fence before warning Larissa to, "stop playing here".

Mo'Nique then says, "Courtney, you are expelled"
It's not all bad news for Courtney however, as Mo'Nique cheers her with, "you know that little yellow bus out front? You don't belong on that bus. You belong in my tour bus"

So, Courtney has a gig. Alls well that ends well.
Thanks for reading...cheers.

Happy Mother's Day E.