I Love New York Finale: New York picks Tango and receives an engagement ring

New York walks down the stairs, heart pounding (as she later admits) and says, "I don't know what I'm gonna do."
She faces the guys, then turns to Sister Patterson to say, "I'd like to do things a little bit differently tonight. Ma, I think it's best that you wait outside and let me handle this."
Without seeming shocked, Sister Patterson exits the eliminations.

New York continues, "I have developed, such deep, deep feelings for the both of you. Tango! You're my rock. I believe that no matter what happens in this world...you have my back. I feel like we complete each other; but at the same time, I see that we're both total opposites."

(Her voice lowers)"...but you Chance. You are my fire! You make me love life!
You can f*ck up at times, but you know what? I'm the same exact way. Chance; we are totally exact. And I love...we're both being crazy and wild; the way you can just ignite shit and blow it all up."

She goes on, "I'm torn between what my heart wants; and what my heart needs"
"Oh Goddd (nervous laughter followed by a deep inhale and exhale)...I'ma have to bet on Tango!"

Chance: Say what?
New York: (talking to Tango)Tango...New York...wants...you...to be her rock!

And that was that. New York chose Tango. But it wasn't the end and before we get to the twist let's return to the beginning of the Final Episode of I love New York.

The opening scene showed Tango under a foil-blanket or so it seemed to me; before switching to Chance packing for the trip to Playacar, Mexico.
Chance is a tad depressed because his brother was eliminated the night before; but Tango is excited because it's "a first opportunity to get rid of Chance. No back up bruh; nobody to lean on"

And so they were off in what must have been a long-ass plane trip to the Viva Wyndham Maya Hotel where they were greeted by dancers and served one of those ridiculously expensive pineapple cocktails. They danced for a while and didn't look good doing so but it was a tedious journey so we can forgive them.
But, the show is not on a War on Iraq budget so they had no time to waste. Soon New York was sending them off to their rooms to get dressed (hopefully bathe) and return for dinner.

The guys were feeling the heat and decided to not wear jackets and opted for casual attire (as if they ever wear anything else). After all it's a "tropical place" according to Chance, and Tango theorized, "it's hard to preserve the sexy when it's freakin' a 100 degrees outside"
(I hope that's not Celsius because that heat won't help the razor bumps)

Seated at the dinner table (outdoors in a really nice setting) New York went to work.
New York: Can I ask you guys something important?
Chance: Hit me with all you got
New York: I'll start with you then Chance since you told me to hit you with it. Why do you think; that Tango, has made it to the Final 2
Chance: I don't know why the fuck Tango is here, man. I don't know...I don't really see shit in Tango. I feel like my brother could be my competition, you know.
New York: You know what Tango, it brings me over to you. What is it you think that I see in him that makes him worthy to be down to the Final 2?
Tango: One thing we got in common. He's honest and he aint gon never let nobody; you or nobody make him do something he don't wanna do.
New York: when we had lunch with your mother, you told me that Chance was one of the 'fakest' men in the house
Tango: I didn't say that; I said...

New York interrupts and reminds Tango, he said they (Chance and Real) wear the Stallionaire t-shirts all the time and they might be here to promote their group.
And that set off Chance who went into one of his crazy tantrums ...

Chance: All I gotta say on this dawg...we ain't here promoting none of our shit; you know what I'm sayin'? The Stallionaires is set, bruh. I ain't here for that shit; this ain't got nothin' to do with The Stallionaires here right now. (I'm here for New York... you brought the Stallionaires in this shit, now I got to whip your ass Stallionaire style)
You say so much shit about me bruh....

Tango: (interrupting) you don't know me; I don't know you
Chance: ...that was a crazy statement you made...
Tango: (lowers voice) and I'm not gonna back down from it neither

The guys go back and forth about Tango's dawgs; Chance's Stallionaires (just messy) and before you know it, Chance kicks out at the table and spills Apple Juice on Tango.
This was the result....

People say Tango is a sissy and all talk but when he said, "I'ma break you in two mother-fucking pieces". I believed that shit.
Chance's reply was, "him and his back-stabbin', fake fat mouth blabber ass ninja turtle lookin' fuckin' self..."
(lmfao)

The drama was enough to convince New York the guys should have separate rooms and could not sit at the same dinner-table. She announced they would each have a day with her and the dinner ended. Chance grabbed his 'Red Bull'; Tango apologized to New York and they both left for their rooms.
New York stayed and said to herself, "hey baby, New York; you're gonna eat. So I sat my ass at that dinner-table and I enjoyed my dinner, alone; and I ate, and it was good"

The Dates
Tango and New York

It's the next day and Tango receives a note from New York that reads:

Despite all the fireworks last night, I still can't wait to spend some quality time with you today.
So put on your bathing suit and get read for a Wet 'n Wild time.

Tango's date with New York was on a yacht (a 25 footer at least) and the smooth playa was quick to let her know, "I thought about you all night", which seemed to comfort New York. The Royal hotness was dressed in a bikini (green and black abstract), a red sarong and navel ring.

Tango was caught up in that body and so was I (New York has a much better ass than I thought) Before long they were scything through the sea at a rate of knots that was too much for New York's eyelashes until she slapped on the shades to protect them.
On the beach of a deserted island (yeah right) New York and Tango flirted ...
New York told Tango she recalled resting her head on his chest and, "I was so happy and I couldn't explain my happiness"
(I should have known right there she would pick Tango)

New York warned him that, "you don't want to lead a girl like me on; you might find yourself in trouble", but Tango paid her no mind. It was getting late though and they barely made it back to the hotel before sundown for their private dinner at the Viva Wyndham Aztec.
New York's choice for dinner was a white minidress (or it might have been shorts under a top); but whatever it was she looked like a Greek Goddess. But even that paled in comparison to the black lace tights and bustier she wore for the night-cap in her room. A night-cap that turned into an all-night-cap...."the two of us are gonna tango all night long"

The morning after found Tango thinking about the night before, "I don't think I could have had a better night, last night. And to be honest, I didn't want to leave. I am in utter bliss right now..."


Chance and New York
Chance's date with New York was at the Xel-Ha Ecological Water Theme Park to swim with the dolphins. It was a fun date and Chance was funny as hell.
His first sighting of a dolphin, "look at that big motherfu*ker, that shit loook like a Loch Ness monster" (surprised he's even heard of Nessie)
And when a dolphin leapt in the air, Chance said, "that ain't look like no dolphin jumped out that water, that looked like a dolphin/shark. They must be inbreeding that shit"
(lmfao)
Eventually they jumped into the water and New York finally lost her eyelashes after "that son-of-a-bitch dolphin splashed me with water."
The afternoon saw them play their little dolphin games before returning to their rooms to prepare for dinner.

Dinner with Chance went without incident although Chance referenced New York's eyelashes for the umpteenth time in this Episode. Eventually they took the love to her room where New York changed into a blue bunny-outfit and entertained Chance for the night.

With one more day to the Elimination, the Final Elimination; New York stayed in Mexico to consider her decision while the finalists returned to Los Angeles.

The Final Elimination
As is the custom in these shows the guys spend the early part of the last day securing clothes for the Final Elimination. Chance used his day to grab a suit and wax his 'unibreezy' (unibrow) off at Mark Matthews.
Tango seemed more intent on purchasing a gift for New York and seemed to settle on a pair of diamond earrings after much deliberation.

Back at the mansion New York and Sister Patterson deliberated on her final choice. New York admits she has yet to make a choice and invites her mother to leave because her negative energy towards Chance wasn't helping matters.
But it was decision time....

The guys assumed the position in the Elimination Room and Tango confessed that "this is the first time I stood next to somebody I utterly couldn't stand to the point where I actually want to reach out and grab him"

New York arrived looking splendid in an Egyptian type ensemble (something Quanda would wear, I imagine...not that I am thinking about your wife or anything, Mr. Q)

New York: I'm torn between what my heart wants; and what my heart needs"
"Oh Goddd (nervous laughter followed by a deep inhale and exhale)...I'ma have to bet on Tango!"
Chance: Say what?
New York: (talking to Tango) Tango.....New York...wants...you...to be her rock!
Chance: (mumbles)
New York: come up for love
Chance: (skeptically) you want some love? You crazy...
New York: (beckons Chance towards her)
Chance: You crazy girl. You got some lips already, you don't need mine no more; you don't need mine no more
New York: Don't do this, don't do that shit to me
Chance: Girl you got some lips go kiss your boy
New York: Don't do that to me though
Chance: I didn't; you did it to yourself

Chance exits the mansion and is greeted by Sister Patterson, "what does this mean, dear?"
"It means I'm gonna go blow a blunt", Chance replies.
Sister P: Chance?
Chance: (dismissively) Yeah, raise up (lmfao)

Sister Patterson steps to him and Chance says, "you lookin' like the Devil in a suit right now"
But Sister P ignores the insult and asks why didn't you take the money, "I tried to tell you, take the money and run but you didn't listen to me. Look at you now, you're just a big loser. Hasta la vista."
(He won't be back, lmao)

Chance enters the limo and the bitter cunt says, "It's just like this I fu*ked that bitch. I think she's a...fu*kin ho...I already done slapped your ass, shook that ass, tapped that ass; man get your ass up on outta here. (fool, it's your ass that's out the door) I'll never forget you New York, though. That's one thing I know, I'll never forget you. Crazy choice-makin' ass woman. I'll never ever forget you"
(hahahahaha, get the fuck outta here you bitter cunt. I done forgot yo ass already, Chump)

In the mansion New York says she chose Tango because he endured everything she threw at him...
New York: Tango this was hard. I have just one question for you
Tango: What's that question?
New York: Do you have love for New York, Tango?
Tango: I love New York
New York: (giggles) come on...
Tango: No, no; I really really love New York (drops to one knee)
(wtf?)
New York: Whatchu doin' down there?
Tango: I just got one question. I wanna know (reveals engagement ring) Tiffany, your hand please. Will you marry me?
New York: (bursts into laughter) Yesss, yes, yes.

New York and Tango hug but Tiffany has a puzzled look on her face obviously unsure if this genuine or not (you know how those VH1 producers are)

New York: (looks at the ring) This is beautiful
Tango: Not as beautiful as you (stop already, geesh.)
New York: Tango this is real though? Oh God; I've never been married before. Can we just go over the rules of marriage and all that.
Tango: Yes
New York: Just hold me, hold me, hold me, hold me tight. Hold me tight. You really just engaged to me?
Tango: I ain't see nobody else here
New York: Did you? Or did you not?
Tango: Absolutely
New York: Huh! Goddd
Tango: We still got things to talk about (Oh oh)
New York: But you want me as your fiance'?
Tango: You sound a little bit shocked by that?


And that's that...New York is getting married, I don't have anything else to say.
Thanks for reading; laterz.


If you live in California and are interested in attending the I Love New York Reunion Show, please read this article.