Brooke 'Pumkin' Thompson responds to last nights Episode of Charm School...

First of all, I would like thank my fans who have taken the time to email me concerning my elimination from Charm School! You guys amaze me and always have my back! I fucking love all you!
How many people go out, party, drink, kiss someone, and live it up? Pretty much everyone!!!! It's not like I fucked the guy! I kissed him! Wow! Monique must have some pretty insane views if she thinks that kissing a guy is whorish!!!!
Also, how the hell is my kissing a guy and getting drunk whorish, when dumb ass Smiley (Leilene) went out in Hollywood and stuck her fake ass titties in all the guys faces while trying to sell perfume????
Exactly! Did Monique say shit about that? HELL No!

I am just fucking sick of how Monique was trying to portray me! She had a horrible choice of words! Also, that was my first time in the bottom three . . .so that should say something about me!!! And if we all acted like Smiley and sat on a couch all night talking to a man, we would not have a fucking tv show with good ratings! So, your welcome Monique for my partying ass making the ratings go up!

I am a California girl who knows how to party! So, if ya all wanna party with me hit me up LOL!!!!! I love you guys and thank you again for the sweet emails that have poured in! You guys rock! And remember, party all you want!!!!! Just be safe about it! I love you all!

Credit: Aisha Raison

Recap time....
Larissa is gone and that means the show is a lot less interesting and a lot less sexy. Someone, or maybe 'sometwo' need to step up their drama game and the scene opens with Becky -who's feeling the pressure- in a scrumptious red top, and Shay -murdering a yellow sweatpants- reminiscing on last evening's event.
Incredibly, Shay seems indifferent and entirely unburdened by her part in the theft of Leilene's picture. 'Buckwild' says it's "very sad to see" Larissa take herself out of the running for the $50000, but we know better.

Before Becky's nose grew any longer, Mo'Nique interrupted with an intercom announcement that the ladies were to assemble -in full uniform- at the Grand Hall for their next lesson.
The next lesson will be governed by the 9th Commandment of Charm School, 'Unless thou can play, thou will be played', and it focuses on relationships. A much needed lesson, I dare say.

Mo'Nique then introduces the guest Dean, Tariq King Flex Nasheed; the author of "Play or be played", "The Art of macking" and "The Mack within" (he also made an appearance on the MTV show, 'Made').
Becky says he looks like a pimp and she likes pimps (what made him look like a pimp, Becky?), whilst Shay is pleased he's cute because "you pay more attention when they're cute."

Tariq is an entertaining guy and you should listen to his podcasts when you have the opportunity, but today's lesson is about "the 4 P's", the 'Players', 'Professionals', 'Pushovers' and 'Parolees'.
The first 'P' has 80% charisma, 10% aptitude, 5% sensitivity and 5% profitability and he is the Player.
(cue Flavor of Love 1 video of Brooke in the shower with Hoopz and Flavor Flav)
Brooke says she's hoping she comes out of the day being able to "spot who the right guy is for me"

The second 'P' is the 'Pushover', "he is 92% sensitive" and is all about catering to a woman's needs.
(cue video of Flavor Flav and Buckwild all cozy and shit in a gondola)

The next 'P' is the 'Parolee', "these are the thugs, the gangstas, the hustlers, the guys who know to handle themselves in the bedroom" (where I come from a guy who handles himself is a dork; but whateva, I am no expert)
(cue video of Shay tongue-kissing Flav in his bedroom)
Shay is quite familiar with this type, "I was drawn to a parolee, because he did things well" (she giggles. I like Shay)

The fourth and final 'P' is the 'Professional', "at 90% profitability he is about his money"
(cue video of Flavor Flav with Leilene)
Tariq asks if anyone has dated a professional and only Leilene responds (just 1 lady out of 5? That's badddd)

Leilene says the person was her ex-husband and he was actually a professional asshole. The relationship ended because he wanted her to be another type of woman; a woman befitting the wife of a professional. (how dare he? For fucks sake Leilene; you are a stripper! That's alright when you're single and on the honeymoon night, but after that? NO!)

Tariq advises the ladies that there are guys with the positive characteristics of the 4 P's and that guy is the "Urban Renaissance Man." The Urban Renaissance Man "has swagger, but he's about the education. These guys can be somewhat sensitive but they still got a little gangsta in 'em. These guys are suave and mentally stimulating like the Playa and they know how to satisfy you sexually like the parolee" (tell me that ain't me he's talking about, lol)

Brooke wonders if you have to sleep with every man to find out which one is the UR man (and she wasn't joking)

Mikki Taylor then states the lessons learnt today need to be applied at the inaugural 'Charm School Prom' where the ladies will be charmed by men representing all of the 4 P's and the Urban Renaissance Man.
Mikki goes on to say, "at the end of the evening, the girl who picks, the true Urban Renaissance Man, will be safe from being expelled at the next Elimination"

Having donated much of their clothes to Charity (see Episode 6), the Charm School hierarchy provided traditional prom dresses, in various colors, for the ladies.
Shay chose powder-blue (y'all know I don't actually know the colors, right?), Leilene grabbed the pink (and looked quite pretty), Brooke went for red (she would, wouldn't she?), Saaphyri wore the black (didn't look good) and Becky opted for bone-white.
(now that I think about it,they weren't chosen because the girls are all different sizes)

Prom Night
On the night Mo'Nique introduces the ladies to the "gorgeous gentlemen", and for once, Saaphyri and I are in sync when she says "what da hell? I feel bamboozled. It's a bunch of ugly looking fools up in here"
The guys are -forgive me if I get the names wrong...

1. Joey and Dajuan -The Players. (smh at a grown ass man named Dajuan. That ain't right)



2. Owen - The Professional (he's aight)



3. Brandon and Tiaunte - The Pushovers (there oughta be law banning black people from naming their kids)



4. Sun Ra, aka Seashell - Parolee (your name is already fucked up and you choose Seashell as your alias? smh)



5. Mark - Urban Renaissance Man (who says? Is this a joke?)

Mo'Nique excuses herself and joins Keith Lewis, Mikki and Tariq in a private-room wherefrom they can view the ladies interact with the men.
As the evening unfolds, all but one of the ladies decide on a strategy of one-on-one time with each man. The exception is Leilene who latches herself onto Owen and won't let go.
Once again Leilene extols the value of stripping. This time she says she's been stripping since she was 17 and the experience has taught her how to read people (you've been dumped, hit and divorced, Are you dyslexic?)
It didn't take long before they left the group for private time.

Inside Becky is chatting with the 'Pushover, Tiaunte and Brandon. But Brooke is talking with her body, grinding on Tiaunte; before questioning Dajuan.
Dajuan says he's a massage therapist and does "backs, shoulders, ankles, toes" but Brooke gets to the point quickly, "what about the vagina area?" (Aurelius, this isn't a girl you can take home to your mother)

I guess the answer was 'Yes', because Brooke took him to the kitchen to cook up a lil somethin somethin. To her credit, Brooke correctly identified Dajuan as the 'Player' but according to her he was the best looking guy there, so, kick rocks.
Speaking of rocks, we learn from a conversation between Shay and Sun Ra that his nickname seashells comes from his using seashells on the end of his braids (maybe he used them to hear the ocean during his 8 years in prison, lol)

Meanwhile, forget the search for the Urban Renaissance Man, Leilene is 'tryna' find a husband. She and Owen discuss her love for movies and her choices are 'Dude, where's my car' and 'Revenge of the Nerds' (Oh dear! Girl you are supposed to say anything by Kurosawa; or some shit like that)
She says, "she's having the best time of her life. This is the man of my dreams" (I love a woman who's easy to please)

Inside Brooke is showing her intellectual side, asking Marc, "do you like to fuck or do you like to make love?"
But she was bored by him (I don't blame her) and retreated to the fountain for a Malibu shot poured at the top by the Parolee as she drank from the bottom-end. As she did so the poor dude was trying to be clever with comments like, "see how Daddy give it to ya" and "...swallow it, swallow it baby" (after 8 years in the 'pen' anything involving a woman will get you excited)
Watching all that, Becky was moved to comment, "Brooke got down dirty; if it looks like a ho, smells like a ho, taste likes a ho; it's probably a ho"
As the night winds down, the Urban Renaissance man sits alone.
Brooke is just getting started though; drunk and randy, she finds herself on the dance floor.

You'd think that was the end of the drama for the night but Sun Ra (the Parolee) and Saaphyri got into a fight after he said, "I don't like big tits because it got stretch marks on them"
That set it off with Sun Ra calling her Miss Weave and using and old 'Sanford and Son' joke that they can use her face to make 'gorilla cookies'.
With the prom threatening to boil over, Mo'Nique calls an end to the party.

Results
It was now time to announce the winner(s) and Tariq examined each lady's selection.
Becky and Brooke chose Tiaunte and Shay and Saaphyri chose Brandon, both of whom were pushovers. Leilene opted for Owen, of course; the Professional.
That meant they all failed but did they, really? I'd think most women would be happy to choose a pushover or a professional.

Next morning the ladies are nervous that none are exempt from elimination and Mo'Nique's announcement to check the Bulletin Board for instructions, adds to the intrigue.
The instructions mandate the ladies to vote the person whom best and worst, represented Charm School at the Prom. The lady with the most votes as the best representative will be exempt and the opposite will be called to the carpet along with two of the remaining three.
Votes are to be placed in a suggestion box downstairs.

The ladies quiz each other on why they ought to receive a vote for 'best representative', but the alliances are forming. Saaphyri and Becky agree to swap votes and work on Leilene to vote positively for either of them and use her 'worst representative' vote against Brooke.
Brooke thinks, "Leilene doesn't have a mind of her own" and partners Shay to share votes and hopefully convince Leilene to vote against Saaphyri. (why not Becky?)
The ladies cast their votes and it's all down to Leilene's choice.

The Vote
In the Grand Hall, Mikki Taylor informs the ladies that Becky received two votes for best representative and is exempt, thereby, from elimination. However Leilene's vote against Brooke means 'Pumkin' is voted worst representative with three votes.
(No surprise but 'lawd hammercy' at Shay in 'dem' jeans)

With the results in, Brooke feels betrayed and targets Leilene.
Brooke speaks to Leilene in a belittling fashion but Leilene has probably had a lot of verbal abuse in her life and is able to deflect it. Still, who da fuck is Brooke to say this, "Leilene, when I am talking to you don't look at her!" (da hell?)
And there was more...
Brooke: you're a slut
Leilene: at least I get paid, you give it for free
Brooke: are you ok being fucked up by rich guys who just want to bang the fuck out of you and *** on your face?
Leilene: who needs friends like this
Brooke: (yelling) I am not your fucking friend, bitch
(wowwwwwww)
Mo'Nique announces 1hr to elimination.

Eliminations #8
In order Mo'Nique calls Brooke, Leilene and Saaphyri to the carpet.
Speaking to Leilene, Keith says he's disappointed she spent all her time with one man, and Mikki echoes the observation.
Saaphyri is warned by Keith and Mikki that she should avoid the bait. It's Brooke's turn now...

Addressing her Keith says, "Brooke, I gotta tell ya, you were ready to engage with whatever came along and it just reminded me of a quote my mom used to say, 'you can put as much lipstick on a pig as you want, but it's not gonna make her a lady"
Brooke: are you calling me a pig?
Keith: I would say that it's pretty vivid (No, no, no. Keith is definitely not a pushover because he has no sensitivity at all)

Mikki doesn't let her up saying "your behavior last night was a disgrace"
After general comments by Mo'Nique, Saaphyri and Leilene are returned to the stage and the decision was clear (and of course my Spoiler was accurate).
Mo'Nique turned her attention to Brooke, "last night you became a complete embarrassment. You got drunk and lost all composure. You were sexually explicit with every man here. It stepped out of being flirtatious and it stepped into being prostitution"

Brooke tried to defend herself but it was too late. And it was all over when Mo'Nique said "...it is your first time on the carpet, look how you had to come sista. You had to come as the whore of Charm School" (I am not sorry for her one bit. It took a year, but finally, she's getting what she deserved for spitting in New York's face)

Brooke and Mo'Nique went back and forth until Mo'Nique cuts the bullshit and asks for her pledge pin. Brooke, you are expelled!

Brooke is hurt like a mother' and says shit like "I don't know many principals that talk like that to their students (girl, it's tv, it ain't real) and as she departs says, "Leilene, you're next"
Outside she laments Mo'Nique's harsh words then flashes her breasts to reinforce the decision.

Mo'Nique feels no sorrow whatsoever and laughs at her own description of Brooke as a "slutatious whore"

And Brooke, next time you say you are appearing on The Elle Word, live up to it.
So that's it, another recap in the bag. Thanks for reading