I love New York the Recap Episode

I missed the first ten minutes of the I love New York recap but was on time to see one of those weight-loss commercials. There was a girl named Karen from LA who looked damn good; I have to record that commercial when next I can.
There was a Charm School commercial as well and I must say I am not enthused by that show. Without Flavor Flav or New York where is the entertainment coming from?

New York should have been the host, not Mo'Nique; but let's get to the ILNY Recap lest I forget e'rything...

The first scene I see is a ruckus between New York and Pootie. Pootie started a relationship with a seamstress but it didn't work out and now she's his friend.."that's my girl, that's my friend" (were his exact words)
But there must have been some communication which New York got wind of because they are arguing in the kitchen and the camera cuts to the confessional where New York says she wants men in the mansion who are there for her and she's going "to make an example of him"
Her voice is hoarse and sexy; as all hoarse voices tend to be.

Soon they are arguing face to face...New York is on the kitchen counter, squatting; and Pootie is screaming at her. In fact, they are screaming at each other; nose-to-nose.
The conversation is brutal and funny but I can barely remember any of it because it's machine-gun rapid.
I do remember him saying, or rather shouting, "I want you to realize, recognize and analyze that I am here for you" and "I'ma poppin' out the back like a Burger King Whopper and I'ma have it my way, and you can have it yours!". To which New York replied, "without cheese, bitch"
(lol, that's why she is who she is and the haters have to fall back)

The scene shifts to the guys having fun with a makeshift slide in the garden. Everyone is enjoying themselves until Romance opts to slide butt naked holding on to his crotch (didn't look like much to hold on to).
For some reason this annoys Chance, but I was more annoyed by the shot of Tango's belly hanging all over the place and those man-boobs and man-tits (not that I was watching or anything).

Chance was so incensed he manoeuvered a meeting with Sister Patterson to decry Romance's shenanigans. It prompted this exchange between Sister P and Chance...

Sister P: a butt naked ho is in this house?
Chance: a butt naked perpetratin' ho
Sister P: I want to talk to that butt-naked ho
Chance: I'll take you to that butt naked ho
(for some reason that stuck in my mind)

We all know Sister Patterson's 'gaydar' is always on full alert so it was no surprise to see her follow up her investigation of Romance with a confrontation with 12 Pack.
We see her entering the room where all the guys are gathered, and she walks towards 12 Pack who says he "is reading his Bible after an emotional day"

Sister P asks 12Pack if he is "the guy that offered Chamo a lap-dance?" and demands, "I want to see a lap-dance tonight."
She invites, or rather orders 12 Pack to give an excited looking Chamo, a lap-dance. 12 Pack hesitates, and the situation looks really uncomfortable for him.
An embarrassed looking Onix makes a remark about Sister Patterson being a religious woman yet pulling this stunt. (what's it to you, Onix?)
In the end 12 Pack refuses but says he may have, if the ten guys weren't pleading "no, don't do it"
The scene ends with Chamo requesting New York not send 12 Pack home because "he's cuuuuute"

So that's Romance followed by 12 Pack...whom do you think is next to complete the trifecta?
Yeah you got it, Pootie.
New York is in the confessional parlaying her hoarse voice to her advantage and informs the viewers that it was time for Pootie to go.
We are treated briefly to Pootie's embarrassing presentation and hear him boast, "I was an extra on War of the Worlds"
(if that's your best boast, you need to kill yourself right quick)

As Pootie departs the guys help with his luggage and VH1 does a countdown to make us aware that Pootie came into the mansion with 5 heavy pieces of luggage
(wtf? He must have packed a 1000 wife-beaters because that's all we ever saw him wear)

The scenes are shifting rapidly and next up is Tango and New York having one of their deep, intense conversations. He says, "Baby, you make me feel good at times" but New York explains that she doesn't want to be hurt again and he's capable of doing that (to her).
Tango says, "I'm not here to hurt you" as New York becomes teary-eyed.
"This is what I feel when I look at you", she retorts.

However, in typical New York style she goes from crying and expressing love and compassion to saying Tango's face is rough and adds, "he needs some microdermabrasion"
(lmao...this woman is tri-polar)
She ends with..."looking at that skin was enough to make me run to get a facial"
(Noooooooo, lmfao)

Mr Boston is up next in the Recap Episode and he's on his stomach with his thong on, "tanning his ass". A visual that Tango says made him lose his appetite. He also added one of his Tangoisms..."he looks like he has been sitting in a pile of powdered donuts"
Chance and Real couldn't bare to see his white-ass and threw cold water on him
(Why then didn't they do the same to Joshua? He's a white ass too)
(Oops, was that racist? Sorry.)

Chance takes his dislike even further and persistently bullies Mr. Boston; going so far as to slap a beer out of his hand. Eventually he, Whiteboy, Real and Rico pounce on Mr. Boston and take him down with the intention of God knows what.
(Rico? People do all sorts of shit to fit in)
They didn't count on Tango though, and he rescues Mr. Boston (Is this the same Whiteboy from the minivan? Why didn't he challenge Tango?)

That ended, the next scene shows Whiteboy emerging with a roll of toilet-paper and a knife (no comment). He says he found the knife under Mr Boston's sink and insinuates Boston hid it for protection against the bullying.
Mr. Boston proffers an explanation that he used it on something he ate the night before but Whiteboy disagrees..."I don't see any food residue on his knife"
(a seven-letter word must be a record for Whiteboy)

New York would eventually ay she sent home Mr. Boston because, "I was afraid Chance would up and kill his motherfucking white ass"
(well if she can say it, it's not that racist after all)

The scenes come at a rapid rate at this point....first we are shown a bit of the Chance tirade when Sister P says he is not fit to be a parent; then the tumultuous argument between Tango and New York because he devoted too much time with his ex-girlfriend, Sunny.
At some point New York says, "I don't want your stupid Ninja Turtle ass"
(if Tango won he must love New York less and less with each Episode)

From that (my memory is failing me) we are taken to the Chance and New York date with lots of kissing and abrasive behavior; then a flash-back to the Episode where the ex-girlfriends (and one sister) visit.
We revisit the scene with 12 Pack's girlfriend in the limousine and see a never before shown scene with Chamo putting to rest whether 'Feathers' is a gay bar or not. "Feathers is a gay bar", he says. "Who wears feathers? Me!"

There is a scene with a massage that I do not recall before they finally settle on some chronological order with the dates with the Final Four.
The Real, Tango and New York date is touched on and the only new video shown is of Real foolishly complimenting her with, "You look like an Arabian horse"
(no need to tell you how she reacted)

The video of the Whiteboy, Chance and New York date offers nothing new except for a discussion on the mansion being haunted by Pootie.
That out of the way; the Recap episode ends with the last two Eliminations....

Eliminations:
Not much to write about here because we've seen it all before...
The only unseen footage is of Tango saying Chance "is unstable with ignorant" (lmao) and Real actually told Chance to "go out there, go follow her" when New York stormed out of the mansion after he removed his chain.
(Is Chance adopted? Because he is so far removed from Real or Claudia)

That's that then. I should probably re-write this when I see the episode again but don't hold your breath.
At the end of the Recap Episode we see a preview of the I love New York finale. One scene with New York's eyelash almost blown off by the wind and the last Elimination ceremony where she confesses she's "torn between what my heart wants and what my heart needs"

Laterz.