PootieSo it's clear to all now that Pootie has issues that require professional care; and perhaps a lobotomy. So it was somewhat surprising to see the New York contestants gathered in what appeared to be a waiting room.
I expected an announcement that Pootie was dropped from the cast.

It was even more surprising when Pootie just walked into the room where they were gathered and rapped the chorus from Mike Jones hit,"Back Then". He also backed up the feelings of White Boy about needing to be left alone.
White Boy looked well chuffed with himself but I have this theory that when a lunatic thinks the way you do, you need to think like someone else.

So, after a very eventful evening they packed themselves into the vehicle and head homeward to the mansion. But the drama doesn't end there.
White Boy chooses this moment to censure Tango. He goes so far as to say Tango is responsible for what transpired at New York inc.

Tango is taken aback, and says to White Boy, "you're kidding, right?"
"You ain't serious?"
But White Boy is serious, and with a rush of bravado yells at Tango to "step out of the car, I'll beat your ass"; and exits the vehicle.

Tango makes a move to join him but his halted by the arm of Chance. And this gives White Boy the opportunity to mock Tango with the inference that if he really wanted to fight; a 270lb man would not be stopped by the single arm of a contestant.
White Boy is right...but why does he feel his (Tango) not wanting to fight means Tango wouldn't beat the counterfeit hood out of him?

He must know that little itsy bitsy guys like him only win fights in PlayStation. Had Tango got out of that car; that would have been one funeral White Boy was certain not to miss; because he would have been the guest of honor.
What's even more crazy is no one knows why he wanted to fight in the first place.
Nonetheless, order is restored and the guys return home safely, if not soundly.

Tango confesses that he cannot stand White Boy and White Boy can kiss his ass. What took you so long T?

The next scene takes us to the results of the challenge.
New York announces that the person with the highest income potential has an evening out with her, whilst the lowest earner has a date with Sister Patterson.
Pootie won that honor; and New York announces that T-Weed's 100 million earning potential bested every other contestant.
Before the foursome leave, Sister Patterson invites T-Weed to sign the documents which authorizes her to search his credit background, and he accepts and signs.
I am thinking there goes my prediction. T-Weed just f"cked himself with a signature.

New York and T-Weed depart for dinner, Sister Patterson takes Pootie to Mel's Diner and at home; 12 Pack teaches Mr. Boston the subtleties of lap-dancing.
New York's date is boring, she says, because T-Weed keeps using business jargon and "humongous drawn-out words" like 'value' (raises eyebrow)
T-Weed says he has a 'Branding Company' and a place in the Catskills; but it's his conversation skills that needs work.
new-york-and sister patterson
Across at Mel's diner, Pootie is eating as if he's on the D-Train. His hand is trembling something awful and his eyes look glazed. If only White Boy were there, he would tell Sister Patterson to 'give that boy some space' and cure his mental disease (rolls eyes).
But Sister Patterson doesn't know about this miracle cure so she stays there and worsens his condition as the poor boy says he's afraid for his life.

T-Weed, under the misconception that his date goes well, steals a couple kisses from New York who is soon interrupted by her mother with the news that Pootie is mad. And has to leave the house as soon as possible.

Convinced immediately, New York recruits Tango, or maybe he volunteered (I don't remember) to talk to Pootie and persuade him to leave the mansion immediately.
Tango finds the deed unexpectedly easy as Pootie covered by a spread that looks like Snufflelupagus decides he will seek help.
The guys help him pack and virtually chase him out of the mansion.

Pootie's departure was like a veil lifted and in the morning it was all light-hearted again. New York appeared in a sensational bikini and matching sarong and was accosted by Mr. Boston who asked her if she would receive a lap-dance.
Surprisingly, she agreed and Mr. Boston did his thing as New York moaned in enjoyment.
Looking on Chance described Mr Boston as a "cold motherfuc*er".

For some reason Mr. Boston and New York ended up on a chair inside the mansion and he asked for a kiss. The kiss didn't look like much but Mr. Boston was afflicted by jungle fever because he suddenly kissed her right-shoulder, her left forearm and her stomach.
New York said the kiss was surprisingly good, but I know what I saw. My niece's kitten kisses better than that.
chance
Somewhere after that 12 Pack thought it wise to swallow a bee and Bonez said he doesn't have sex (a sure sign he would be eliminated)
But it was the perfect segue for a New York moment where she drops one of her memorable lines.
Choosing Tango as her masseuse, New York got on all-fours which forced Tango to say "Oh My God" and me to say "Lord Have mercy"
Tango later said "I smell jealousy" which made me pat somewhere with a towel and when New York said "you can go a lil harder on me if you want"; it was all over.

Girl wasn't done there. New York, obviously enjoying her massage told Tango "you're making me feel like a big girl" and "making me feel to do big girl things"
Lawd hammercy.

Without missing a beat, New York slid into the pool and straddled Chance for more intense kissing. The confidence of this girl is amazing.
But now, it was time for elimination and with Pootie chased out of Dodge two guys were going home.

Elimination
In order, New York chose:

1) Tango 2) Real 3) Rico 4) Onix 5) 12 Pack 6) Chance 7) White Boy 8) Mr. Boston

And that meant there was one chain for either of
T-Weed, Bonez or Heat. Only the credit rating results could stop T-Weed from receiving his chain and New York had the results in hand.
Having read the results she announced that
T-Weed's "credit rating was a low 523. He had no active credit card and couldn;t get a credit card if he wanted one."

Adding to his embarrassment she said he
"had 11 accounts in collection and his last known job was in 2002 when he worked for Munchie's Pizza"
Add it all up and T-Weed was
'knocked the fu*k out'.

Heat was called up to receive his chain and Bonez was sent off with a lame-ass speech about New York not wanting to corrupt him.
There endeth Episode 3 and if I am lucky it's the last one I'll have to do.

Head on over to the V-Spot where a clip has Pootie says he fears for his life and points the finger at production staff. I think it's at the point where VH1 is exploiting the dude but I am too fatigued to get into all that.
Thanks for reading.
Laterz.

23 comments

  1. Anonymous // 23/1/07 2:32 AM  

    First time as first!

  2. Anonymous // 23/1/07 2:39 AM  

    Nice work, steups. Nice when you come out of recap retirement everyone and awhile!

  3. FOL // 23/1/07 2:41 AM  

    You're still awake?
    You must be in that new Martian Time Zone, lol.

  4. Anonymous // 23/1/07 2:47 AM  

    Yeah, I like to wait til the family is asleep and do most of my reading.

  5. Anonymous // 23/1/07 2:47 AM  

    Yeah, I like to wait til the family is asleep and do most of my reading.

  6. Anonymous // 23/1/07 2:48 AM  

    Sorry to double up like that

  7. Grumpy Fox // 23/1/07 2:48 AM  

    I don't know whether that was a mental breakdown, act for TV, or the most public withdrawal shakes and paranoia I've ever seen.

    Either way, it made me feel dirty enjoying watching it... way to go VH1.

    Excellent recap. Filled in the spots I missed! (like the snuffalupagus confrontation...)

  8. FOL // 23/1/07 2:50 AM  

    what mollicus said...somewhere in the middle I thought that maybe they were exploiting this dude...

    lmac...I know what you're saying.
    The quiet at this time is amazing

  9. yeahme // 23/1/07 3:02 AM  

    i think they set t-weed up. the way he reacted kinda struck me (he seemed pretty peeved) in that they probably made up that pitiful credit report for ratings. aah, reality tv.

  10. Anonymous // 23/1/07 3:09 AM  

    t-weed had no business there anyway. he reminded me of a hobo.

  11. Anonymous // 23/1/07 3:31 AM  

    Regarding T-Weed, for NY not to be interested in money ( let's be adults here and agree that she is somewhat interested in it), she sure went to alot of trouble to find out what these fellas were working with. They should have let him get his own proof (bank statements, W-2s and such, things that would have been impossible to access without him) and go by that. Not some credit report that may be from a difficult time. Look at how he dresses. That Ed Hardy gear can't be bought at Wal-Mart! And at least he isn't wearing air-brushed "Stallionaires" t-shirt that anyone can get made for a couple of sawbucks at the mall.

    On the Vspot extras, you can see him talking to crew who tell him that if he provides proof, they will air it so he is not protrayed as a liar.

    ANd finally....I can't wait til the reunion!!

  12. Anonymous // 23/1/07 3:38 AM  

    steups is terrible in bed

  13. Anonymous // 23/1/07 4:14 AM  

    let me clear this up if t-weed had all that money he would of had his credit cleard up, you would be dumb not to.

  14. Ivory // 23/1/07 8:50 AM  

    Ha ha, Steups I loved this. You and Groovy compliment each other so well, it's interesting how different you two are in the contestants that you like, like the Whiteboy thing. I think like 90% of the women on here love that guy. I always thought he was eh. And then last night I swear he licked his lips about 60 times and then I remembered Quanda's hilarious interview with him and now I'm sorta getting why so many of you like him. Quanda, you deserve a medal for your "coochieeaterradar!" 12 Pack is sooooo frat, eating the bee and the fact that he's always getting wasted. He reminds me so much of the frat-guy friends I have, yeah I'll admit I have a good amount of guy friends like him. In my defense, they are funny as hell. At least they are when you are drinking with them, lol. Ok, I'll be back with the news, since I've been neglecting my duties a bit. Hope you all are doing good.

  15. FOL // 23/1/07 9:26 AM  

    Hey Ivory.

    The Whiteboy thing, uh?'I dare anyone to say he wasn't a total fool yesterday...

    And 90%, you must be out of your mind.

  16. FOL // 23/1/07 9:50 AM  

    Morning dorfam

  17. FOL // 23/1/07 10:08 AM  

    We have moved to the top box, right?

  18. Anonymous // 23/1/07 10:10 AM  

    well steups... as a matter of fact, i do hear that all of the time. i'm at work right now. and someone just asked me to take my suitcoat off. whatever yourself! i can't help it that they are looking at me. ha!

  19. Ivory // 23/1/07 10:13 AM  

    Ok, so, when I do the news, I usually like to do articles that are strange and amusing, stuff like a beer made for dogs (yep, it's non-alcoholic, but there is a beer/malt beverage for canines now, it's called Kwispelbier, made in Amsterdam, kwipsel is Dutch for a wagging tail). But today I decided to switch it up a bit. Instead of doing a news story, I'm going to give you some tips from the very popular "Worst Case Scenario Survival Handbooks." The following are so amusing, interesting how-tos concerning dating and sex. Here are a few:

    Ivory's Tips and How-Tos from The Worst Case Scenario Survival Handbook:

    How to Fake An Orgasm: Ok, so I don't advise this, mostly because everyone deserves an orgasm, and if you're faking it, you're just not having any fun. But there may be times it's necessary. He are the steps, in the author's words.
    1)Begin your vocal and physical ascent, that is, start to make noise and move rhythmically.
    2)Moan and cry out, building in volume and intensity. You may say your partner's name over and over. (My own bit of advice: make sure you remember his/her name if you do this!) Many people, in the thralls of ecstasy, will blurt out sentences or requests that are utterly incomprehensible - try this occasionally.
    3)Move faster rhythmically and then increasingly "out of control." As you approach "climax", increase the tempo of your movements, particularly of the hips. Add jerky movements. If you have not moved or vocalized much before you start to fake the orgasm, it will seem all the more fake, so you might need to fake enjoyment all the way through.
    4)Contract your muscles. For many people, this is an involuntary side effect of an orgasm; the classic examples are toe-curling or fingers clutching the sheets. You may also arch your back, scrunch your facial muscles, or open your mouth wide.
    5)Ratchet up the moaning and writhing in volume and intensity.
    6)Culminate in a loud moan or cry.
    7)Slow down immediately, tensing your body.
    8)Relax, as if exhausted or spent. Smile with enjoyment.

    Ok, because this is going to be close to the size of a recap, lol, I will end it here. Tomorrow: tips on how to detect a real orgasm. Alright, sorry bout the length everyone, but hey, this is something we all need to know, just in case we have no other choice but to fake it. Have a good day everyone!

  20. Ivory // 23/1/07 10:16 AM  

    Hey Steups, Dorfam! How are you both today? Probably still reading my gigantic, massive last comment. Sorry bout that, but you know, it is uh, information we all you know, may need, in a worst-case scenario, lol.

  21. FOL // 23/1/07 10:26 AM  

    lmao @ the anonymous comment

  22. FOL // 23/1/07 11:34 AM  

    Anyone here (here here here herr her)

  23. Anonymous // 23/1/07 8:30 PM  

    I am kinda sad to see An-Gay 3000 leave. He was entertainment. As for T-Weed's date, at least he could keep a conversation going, even if it was largely Business 101 mixed with a little internet terminology. All Whiteboy could say was "eat more celery".

    Bootie, er Pootie seemed to know it was good for him to leave, perhaps it is really fake.

    I like Tango in a hetero way, but him making excuses for why he didn't step to Slingblade, er Whiteboy was weak.

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