Aye, this Episode 9 flew by; let's hope the recap does as well.
Four guys left and they all look rather nervous. 'Punk' laments 'Mr Wise's' elimination but is optimistic no one will ever feel that way about him. He is now the bookmaker's favorite to win it all; doing just enough to be interesting and not too much to annoy 'New York'.
'Buddha', the second favorite, thinks he and 'New York' know each other very well so it's now time to enjoy each other. (this is one corny-ass brotha, let me tell ya)

It's note-time though, courtesy 'Big Ant', and 'The Entertainer' reads and reveals the parents are on the way and they have to clean house.
This they do, with 'Tailor Made' assigned the toilets. It would have been too cruel to have him clean the kitchen with his suffering from PTSD (Post Traumatic Slap Disorder)

The first to arrive are 'The Entertainer's' (Frank's) parents, and they seem nice enough, especially mom who is eager to 'meet my future daughter-in-law'. She has the thickest New York accent ever and describes New York as "pretty"
'Tailor Made's' father is next to arrive and describes his son as a "role model" (fuck outta here with that)...obviously 'Tailor Made' told him what to say, because he seems able to contact anyone he wants -the ex-wife, the florists, the lingerie shop.

Punk's mother and sister (why?) show up and make it obvious they aren't pleased the Harvard man is looking for love on television. On meeting them 'New York' notes, "Punk got all of the looks in that family, he skipped the gene that would have rendered him otherwise" (hahahaha, I think that comment rules out Punk as the winner)

At last, 'Buddha's' dad arrives and he greets him as 'Big Mike' (a bit odd, I thought). New York thinks he looks hot.
Within a minute, we learn why Buddha is such an arrogant ignoramus, as his dad assaults New York with , "being the beautiful black woman that you are, why do you smoke so much?" (he must be a fan of the show?). And warns her it will ruin her beauty.
New York is taken aback, coming from someone who 'could be over 90 and wears diapers'
With everyone settled in, New York goes about meeting the parents.

Sitting with 'Punk' and his family, New York asks mom, "how would you feel about Punk and I together?"
"It would take getting used to", she replied, then buries her head in her hands. (is it that serious?)
Punk's sister -who is the spitting image of her mom- looks on as if to say, 'bitch please'.
Later she (New York) admits to 'Punk' that his family doesn't approve and asks what are they gonna do about it. (hmmmn, it's not like New York to care that much)
She then announces -after the parents have joined her and the contestants- that she will take to dinner, 'The Entertainer', 'Punk', and their respective family members. Silently, 'The Entertainer' worries about sharing a table with his mother and 'Sister Patterson'. (he ain't never lied)

Dinner Date with Punk and The Entertainer
At the restaurant (a cheap-looking one, I might add) the two sets of families arrive to see New York and 'Sister Patterson' already seated. The dynamic duo never stand to accept greetings from the parents, and the rudeness worsens when The Entertainer's mom asks, "what do you think of my son?"
With 'The Entertainer' absenting himself for a bathroom break, 'Sister Patterson' replies, "I hope you take him home tonight".
"I am not gonna take him home because he likes your daughter" (but you gotta hearya say 'daughta' for yourself)

With that the dinner escalates into the 'War in Iraq'...first 'Sister Patterson' accuses Frank's mom of putting her greasy hand in her face (which you probably know is a well-known insult to Italians). But Frank's mom isn't backing down and New York is forced to intervene and let's her know, "you have to have respect for my mom"
Which is a bit of a joke, really, because 'Sister P' has no respect for anyone.

Unbelievably, 'Sister Patterson' yields and walks out, with New York in tow, saying she's not 'wasting time' with The Entertainer's parents, as they leave, Frank's mom yells, "mother and daughter, low-class trash" (hahahaha, the woman has balls)
'Punk' and his family look on in dismay and Frank's dad has a look as if he's seen this happen many times before (lmao)
I will not sit next to her (pronounced her-ah), Frank's mom orders.

Having returned to the aftermath, 'The Entertainer' follows New York and her mom downstairs and tries to make peace, but is told off by 'Sister Patterson', "you need to talk to your mother; so why are you in my face when I'm tryna have one-on-one time with my daughter"
As he departs, 'The Entertainer' characterizes New York as Sister Patterson's pet!
Upstairs, Frank's mom says, "I don't think I am getting an apology from her (New York) or that transvestite" (lmmfao)

Surprisingly, they return to the table and Frank's dad offers a toast to 'good health'. And then it starts again...
Sister P: excuse me sir, what is your name?
TE's Dad: Gary
Sister P: I am Michelle
(wtf? she is flirting with Frank's dad! Lmao)

'Sister P' calls Frank's Dad a "knock-out", and adds to the uncomfortable nature by asking, "doesn't your wife tell you how gorgeous you are?" (and lemme tell ya, the woman looks sexy when she flirts)
But she ain't slick and Frank's mom gets on her again and soon they going back and forth. "You have too much testosterone", Frank's mom accuses.
"I do; and I look better than you", Sister P states matter-of-factly.

I can't remember much of the repartee, but I do recall, Frank's mom saying, "I'd rather wear his jock-strap than that wig on your head" (bumboclaaaattttt, lol)
Sister Patterson walks away for a second time, but not before she said, "shut-up, you fat-ass bitch"
The battle was a tie, probably, but Frank's mom won the tie-breaker for staying put.
As the dust clears, 'The Entertainer' is the real loser of the battle as 'Punk' accurately points out.


Family Day with the Buddha's and the Tailor Made's
A new day, a new beginning; but Punk's mother can't forget yesterday and describes the dinner to Tailor Made's dad. She objectively, appreciates both sides, New York defending her mother, and a mother defending her son. But is opposed to the swearing, "those words are not acceptable in our family" (not even during sex?)

Buddha is just happy to not be part of the drama for a change (stop the lying, you know your ass is a drama-queen) and is there to witness New York and Susan (The Entertainer's mom) exchange false pleasantries in the kitchen.
Susan is still angry, and suggests New York has no respect for older people and "wasn't raised right by her mom" (ain't you the one with a 30yr old son in the basement? Fuck outta here)
She ends the confession by saying she no longer wants New York for a daughter-in-law (as if you ever?)

But it's about 'Buddha' and 'Tailor Made' today; and their date is poolside in the back-yard (which suggests they were never going home this week)
'Tailor Made' fusses over his dad's choice of outfit, noting, he and pops are never gonna compete with 'Buddha' and Big Mike in a bath-suit (I hope for Christ's sake, Buddha isn't calling his dad 'Big' because he is....that would take their arrogance to the sickest degree)

The family's gather outside and do not wait long for New York and her mother. New York's breasts look great in her bikini top, whilst Sister P looks sexier than ever in a sarong-thingy (I keep tellin' y'all, the woman is the hotness)
Tailor Made's father asks if Sister P is New York's sister, the oldest line in the book, that...
But it seems to work on Sister P, and she immediately warms to him.
Completely disregarding yesterday's event, New York opts to play volleyball with the sons and leaves the Dads to her Mom, for questioning.

The Dad's look nervous, and Sister P wastes no time in spilling the beans on 'Buddha'. But spills a little too much, turning to Big Mike to say, "your son beat the crap out of his son"
There was "blood everywhere", she exaggerates.
Big Mike is skeptical, saying he'd rather hear it from 'Tailor Made' (witness intimidation?). Sister Patterson isn't impressed with his level-headedness and offers an alternative view, "when Buddha's father opens his mouth to speak, it's nothing but hot gas"

Sister P's 'hyperbole (Tailor Made's word) eventually gets to an eavesdropping Buddha (messy boy ain't he?) and he confronts her. They exchange words and he says "you have no good in ya"
He storms off (what's new?), followed by New York.
He admonishes her, stating "you deny me when we are around other people" (deny me? This muffucka thinks he is Christ, or some shit)
The second parent's date ends.

New York cooks
Back in the mansion, New York announces, "I'm gonna make dinner for everyone, tonight", to dispel the belief she's only, "hair, makeup, nails and tight-clothing". (don't forget 'chunking')
As she departs to the kitchen, everyone else has their own issues to sort out....
'The Entertainer' and his Dad convince Susan to keep her mouth shut, while 'Buddha' and Big Mike wax philosophical about New York and her mother, using a mirror as a metaphor (they would wouldn't they? Oh the vanity!)

'Punk' takes the time to do damage control with his family and asks mom to be Frank (haha, I couldn't resist). "What do you think of New York?", he asks.
"I think she is wild and aggressive. I don't deal with people like that"

In the kitchen, New York is a bit overwhelmed. She drops a chicken-wing, retrieves it and dumps it in the pot. (y'all better not pretend, because everyone has done that. it's gonna boil anyway)
A thoughtful Frank enters the kitchen, offers to help, and is rewarded with a makeout session on the kitchen counter.
Right on cue, 'Buddha' stops by, observes what's up and walks away; sulking.
He walks outside, for fresh air apparently (for attention, actually)...with New York in cold pursuit.
Outside, 'Buddha' does his best impression of the 'Whiteboy' towel scene. But on this occasion, New York is confrontational.
She states the obvious, that "Buddha is fucking up", but he sees the situation as her mother being afraid he's gonna rescue New York from her victimisation (is this boy for real?)

It's been a "disastrous day", New York confesses, but the dinner-table is surprisingly quiet, until 'The Entertainer' says it's surprisingly quiet. 'Buddha' and Big Mike are brooding, which prompts New York to opine, "only an arrogant asshole would enjoy another arrogant asshole"
Tailor Made's publicist Dad says his son is truly in love.

To keep things moving, New York asks Susan about her living arrangements with Frank and she admits she pretty much does everything for him. He chips in however with walking the dog, taking out the trash and mowing the lawn. 'Tailor Made' describes him as a "loser" (laundry is women's work, anyway, so I don't get what the fuss is about)

That's that, though, the end of whatever they were eating. It's time for elimination. As New York and her mother exit, only 'Punk' has the manners to arise from his seat. (obviously, that is a dude with a good mother)

Eliminations
Everyone is nervous, save for 'Tailor Made' who sailed through this episode. 'The Entertainer' says he feels great, and his Dad says if he's eliminated he'll just return to the basement,but laments, "when I said 'til death do us part', I didn't say it to him" (lmfao)

The first chain is awarded to 'Tailor Made', understandably. "Do you have love for New York?", she inquires.
"So much", Tailor Made responds.
'Punk' is next, no surprise there...even his sister looks a bit pleased. New York says she has butterflies and goosebumps for the Harvard man.

And so it's down to the Final two, 'Buddha' and 'The Entertainer'.
Turning to 'Buddha', New York says, "your father doesn't like me, and at times I don't know if you like me"
But, in the end, it's 'The Entertainer' who is eliminated, because, "I need a man who can support me and check me. With all due respect to you and your parents, you are a loser!"
(da hell? lmfao)

We are not treated to the response of Frank's parents, but I am certain it was explosive and it'll soon be uploaded on VH-1.
The remaining three guys celebrate with champagne, but are warned to not drink too much because they are off to South Beach, Miami.

So that's that, next week will be a banger and we will give you a spoiler on Friday, hopefully.
Thanks for reading, and thanks to Groovy for writing last week's recap.
Cheers.

Pictures courtesy VH1

'What if Buddha was my perfect mate, you guys took that chance from me'
So, we are treated to a replay of Buddha's return, but, though 'New York' has seemingly ignored the 'I Love New York' producers; the legal staff are a different kettle of fish.
The guys are asked to legally sanction 'Buddha's' return to the house by way of affixing their signature to a document that, and I am guessing here, absolves VH1 and 51Minds of any liability and responsibility for 'Buddha's' actions.

In order, 'Wolf, The Entertainer, Punk, Pretty' and 'Mr. Wise' sign with nary a concern, but then again, it's not their voice-box inventing sounds (yellllpppp) or their faces being left-hooked.
'Tailor Made' is not that blase about the idea, but signs anyway because his feelings for 'New York' are so strong..."I'm doing this for you and only you", he says.
And with that, 'Buddha' is back, officially. 'New York' is pleased, particularly with 'Tailor Made', as she knows he doesn't want to be "yoked" again.
Sister Patterson is the voice of reason, noting 'Buddha' has a dark side she hopes he can control. She also says he is a "beautiful person", but that's bull. (there ain't a damn thing beautiful 'bout Buddha)

The first morning back in the mansion and 'Buddha' is busy doing reps in the company of 'Tailor Made' who's struggling with his weights. When I read Shauntay's and Baby's comments about this guy I see where they're going (he is short, old, divorced, has a child, balding, meager, can't defend himself and spits on people. No wonder they think he's sexy)
It's challenge time, though, so we are spared another 'Buddha-confessional'.

This Episode's Challenge is culinary and the guys are asked to prepare a dish for 'New York', once again it's that dumb ass 'Buddha' who read the note. (why is he always reading the damn challenges, uh?)
'The Entertainer' opts for 'chicken cacciatore' and phones his mom for tips. That I don't get; why choose a dish you can't cook? If you need help you probably shouldn't be cooking it, is what I'm thinking. 'Tailor Made' says his idea of cooking, is ordering, so his best bet is a salad. 'Wolf' puts his faith (fate, too) in 'chicken fajitas', then acts as if the dish was divinely inspired.
They can't cook in the mansion though, so the guys and their ideas are taken to a proper kitchen where they are introduced to their Master Chef, 'Mr. Boston' (I Love New York 1).

'Boston' introduces the guys to the "super-secret ingredient" -ranch dressing- and informs them they have 30 minutes cooking-time with one other stipulation; each dish must utilise one cup of the dressing. The prizes are two solo-dates.
With 'Boston' always reminding them to add more ranch, the guys complete their dishes and present them for judging.

'The Entertainer', who really overdoes the Italian shit, prepared Penne alla Vodka which 'New York' enjoyed. 'Wolf' impressed with his 'fajitas', but 'Pretty' flopped with his 'ranch-dressing cheese-cake'.
I mean, really, why would a non-chef male even know how to make cheese-cake? That's woman-food!
I will never, ever, ever, ever be caught eating cheese-cake. Men don't eat cheese-cake! Just like men don't eat-strawberry ice-cream, etc., etc. There are just some foods a man should not eat. If 'Pretty' isn't gay, he should be; because he needs an excuse. And by the way, to make the thing even more confusing, his predilection for ties is classic 'fag-hag' attire. (don't ask how I know that shit). So my guess is 'Pretty' isn't gay but he likes to be around gay men..... (ahhh fuck it, he's gay)

'Mr. Wise' is next, with hot-dogs and fries which 'Sister Patterson' describes as "so white-trash". Forgive me for laughing, but that was funny.
I have to ask...why is he on the show? He is just useless! At least 'Whiteboy' would piss me off, this bugger just hangs around doing nothing. And yeah, his hairline pisses me off, too; and I know I ain't the only one bothered by that...
Anyways, let's ffwd. 'Punk's' 'Bleu cheese burger' was disgusting; 'Tailor Made's' 'salmon and caviar salad' was even worse; but 'Buddha' impressed with his 'El pollo de New York' (makes you wonder how they prepared all that in 30 mins)
In the end, 'New York' chose 'Wolf's' fajitas as the dish to-die-for, earning him a solo-date; whilst 'Sister Patterson' (who looks hungry for Buddha) chose...whom else? Buddha!

The Dates

Buddha's
The night's solo date was 'Buddha's' and after sharing a kiss with 'New York' they sat for dinner and engaged in one of New York's classic make-a-man-feel-good conversations.
"When you were gone I felt like I was missing something and it was you", she confessed. (stating the obvious? Or being romantic? Your call).
"I can't say anything bad about you. You're gorgeous, you're hot. You make me feel so, like, hot and passionate and fiery" (Oh geesh; Buddha ain't none o' that shit)
She goes on to lie to say, 'Buddha' in bed "would be the ultimate challenge" and of course she queried his size (it's what she does) to which he assured, he is "fully equipped" (I feel sick typing that; like seriously)

"I have trust issues", New York admitted.
"Your recognizing that is incredibly big of you; but you can't really love someone unless you trust them", Buddha replied. (boy shut the fuck up; always with the corny-ass shit)
They kiss; a kiss which inspires 'New York' to say 'Buddha' is a way better kisser than 'Tailor Made' and she goes further to state, 'Buddha' tastes like chocolate, but not just any chocolate; Valentine's chocolates. To make viewing even more sickening, she takes 'Buddha' to the mirror to see how cute they look as a couple. And there endeth the date.

A normal person would have gone to bed, but this is 'New York', and soon enough she was jumping into 'Punk's' arms for another round of kissing. (her thighs looked really damn good in that scene)

Wolf's
None too pleased by Buddha's solo-date the night before, 'Tailor Made' orders a La Perla negligee which set him back $855.36 (scratches head: da hell?).
It's Wolf's date though, and he and 'New York' leave for the set of Nip/Tuck where the reality television goddess will shoot a scene, specially written for her by executive producer Ryan Murphy (I'm sure he asked someone to write it, but who gives a fug?)

Murphy is a huge fan of 'New York' and her show, and presents her with a bottle of Dom Pérignon champagne before engaging 'Wolf' in a rather uncomfortable line of questioning. Prophetically, he wrote-off the chances of 'Wolf' being chosen, describing him as "a well-mannered gentle guy" (uh-hmmmn) and added "I think she should marry me and leave the reality-show business" (uh-hmmmmn)

They are then left on their own to rehearse New York's lines, but fell asleep, until their rest was interrupted by a Richter-scale fart from 'Wolf'. Dude's body literally shook and poor 'New York' was not more than 18 inches away from the smelly explosion. Wolf's excuse was, it couldn't be helped and blamed the tuna and mozzarella which he likened to a 'cat's tongue' (Uhh? Unless I heard him wrong?)

'New York' successfully completed her scenes with Nip/Tuck stars Leslie Grossman and Julian McMahon, and that was the end of that.
"She came, she saw, she acted, she smoked", was Murphy's take on New York's acting debut.

Eliminations
Back home, a worried 'Punk' makes the desperate move to confess to 'New York' he "feels like he's really falling in love with her, like 100%", but cone-head Buddha interrupts. It's desperation time, because eliminations are near, and even 'Pretty' gets into the act, kissing 'New York' and taking her upstairs, which prompts another memorable 'New York' quote, "bitch you are so smart for putting panties on" (hahaha)
In a private encounter, 'Tailor Made' takes the opportunity to present his gift, 'New York' is hopeful it's a "pack of Indian Remy hair" (lmao) but is pleased by the $800 La Perla nightie..."I am going to let him have me in this"

At the ceremony, 'New York' presides in the very 'nightie' she received just a few minutes ago. Black people always do that, I swear; we never let a gift have a moment's breath.
She warns the guys they aren't "aggressive enough for her" and she "wants a man who'll come seek her out".
The names she calls, she informs, will be those guys whom she considers as making the most effort to be with her...'Tailor Made' is first, then 'Buddha', 'Punk', 'The Entertainer' and 'Pretty'.
One chain is left.

'Wolf' says, "if I get eliminated tonight I'll be appalled", which sounds funny coming from him; whilst Mr. Wise says he is "never 100%" at elimination time (I wonder why?)
However, for some weird reason, 'New York' chooses 'Mr. Wise' because "you made an impact on me" (How, when, where?)
'Wolf' is told he is a "a really nice, sweet, country bumpkin who wouldn't fit in" with her lifestyle.
And that's that, six guys remain in the mansion.

Next week sees the return of 'Chance' and 'Real' so look forward to that....
Thank you for reading the recap.
Cheers.

Aurelius sent me his recap of Episode 5 of I Love New York, a while back but I was detained elsewhere. So here it is; apologies for the delay

I am way too busy to write a proper introduction so, I'll do it later.
Here's Aurelius' video recap of I Love New York 2: Episode 4; yelllllpp and all:

"I'm poor, black, I may even be ugly; but YouTube, I'm here, I'm here...I'm still here"

So those bastards tried to stifle Aurelius' Constitutional right to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness but he showed them.
This week's video is massive, but don't take my word for it...

♪ Bailamos, let the rhythm take you over
Bailamos, te quiero amor mio
Bailamos wanna live this night forever
Bailamos te quiero amor mio te quiero ♫

If you saw those Samsung B-phone ads tonight you have to admit no one fulls-out a skinny jeans as Beyonce Knowles. The woman is a walking multiple orgasm. As is New York, and it may have been the influence of the ads but her voice and Beyonce's were similar sounding tonight.
Anyways, recap time....

Last week 'I Love New York' ended with New York saying, "if you want me, come and get me," so it's surprising tonight's show begins with most of the guys playing cards. Not Tailor Made though; he's plotting his next move and counsels himself to do something, fast.

So what's the plan? Well there is no 'Golden AN' so he decides to pick on the Midget. (righttttt)
Tailor Made lets slip, intentionally, that The Entertainer has been talking smack about Midget Mac. And it's vicious smack too; something about a Chevy Impala and his having a small bladder.
Naturally, Midget Mac decides to run upstairs to confront The Entertainer.

After an hour-long stair climb, Mac gets into it with The Entertainer! Unimpressed by Mac's ravings, (and really, whom else but another midget is scared of a midget?) it all changes when it becomes known Tailor Made is the svengali behind it all.
An excited and enraged The Entertainer (that 'The' makes reading the sentence difficult doesn't it?) screams, 'I'll kill you' at Tailor Made but it fizzles into nothing and they disperse.

The next morning, Buddha, Punk, The Entertainer (hereinafter to be called Entertainer; because I hate the corniness of that name) and others, devise a plan to punk Tailor Made and It. The scheme involves a fake challenge that sets-up a test of attrition where the guy who stays on his feet -outside in the cold- the longest; will win a 'special breakfast' with New York.

To make it credible the guys bail out in staggered sequence until the final three are Cheezy, It and Tailor Made(seemed too much of a coincidence to me)... Very close to 6am, Cheezy called it quits and we were down to the Final Two.
The agony of 'defeet' was eased early in the day however, as New York arose and arrived to find It and Tailor Made on their last legs.
Seven hours they'd soldiered through, until New York answered their questions about last night's challenge with the bad news that they "got punked and played all at the same time"
"Everyone knows I am not a breakfast person", she added.

Tailor Made is none too pleased and in an even unhappier mood when he's summoned downstairs -after 45minutes of sleep- to receive the official challenge. Once again it's Buddha reading the message aloud; which describes New York's quest to build her bank account and empire. A presentation; which they have two hours to prepare forms the main course of the challenge.
(yeah the recap is boring; but trust me, the episode wasn't much better)

The guys are grouped into teams of three. Team 1 comprises Cheezy, It and Tailor Made and they waver between a blaxploitation flick and It's idea of Portable AIDS Tests (PAT). (it seemed dumb, but I kinda like the idea of a PAT smear)

Team 2; Buddha, Wolf and 20-Pack discussed a New York line of cars (cabs?) and a New York Book of Etiquette (that had to be sarcasm) before settling on New York-stickered iPods.

Midget Mac, Man-Man and The Entertainer immediately decide on an expensive cologne; whilst the 'Dream Team', Punk, Mr Wise and Pretty opt for a clothing line; but not before Punk boastfully states it's unfair to have them competing as a group.

The Presentations
Siri Garber, the celebrity publicist (Jeremy Piven, Paris Hilton) joined New York and sister Patterson to judge the presentations and first up was Buddha and his unit with their idea to market mp3 players, under the brand YNI (You 'N I) with Season 1&2 -of I Love New York- pre-loaded. They weren't very good, but as he presented, New York confessed, "my mind goes to the dirtiest place ever and basically I am just having sex with Buddha on the table" (is she saying she was masturbating?)

The Entertainer's trio was next and they added a twist, they were pitching QT perfume now (maybe it's the same thing as cologne) but it's unlikely their gimmick of perfume in a caped liquor bottle will ever catch on. (well, in Gotham it might) Their slogan was 'it smells so good it makes you wanna slap your momma.' (is that ghetto humor? Because I don't ghet it)
The 'Dream Team' lived up to expectations with a pitch of a clothing-line endorsed by New York and fashioned by up-and-coming designers. They proposed a 'Princess' collection and a 'NULUV' brand (kNowing yoU Look Unbelievably Voluptuous)
Hysterically, Sister Patterson was moved to say "voluptuous is a new word for fat" (actually, the new word for fat is 'Britney')

The final presentation was Tailor Made's crew and they pitched the idea of New York reviving the blaxploitation era with a movie titled 'Bad Ass Bitch' and a projected gross of $60million.

So that was that...after due deliberation the judges chose the team of Tailor Made, Cheezy and It. As the point-man, Tailor Made won the solo-date.

The Dates
At the mansion Cheezy is miffed at Tailor Made winning the solo-date, and suggests they both go to New York to tell her he, is the brains behind the successful presentation. A surprisingly unselfish Tailor Made advises Cheezy to go on his own and state his case.
Cheezy successfully convinces New York he was responsible for the marketing analysis, etc and she rescinds her decision.
As a cheered-up Cheezy departs, Tailor Made makes his way to New York's bedroom and says it was his strategic vision that fueled the successful presentation.

Not put-off by the turn of events, New York chooses Tailor Made and explains her decision, "I don't care I'm gonna pick the guy I want to fuck" (no 'eeny meeny miney mo'?)

Tailor Made's date with New York is a private dinner at an LA jewelry store, 'Barins', where she gifted him a medallion and he describes her as "...the woman I want to spend the rest of my life with"

The next morning Cheezy and It received notice, their date would offer 'a sneak peek of New York looking her hottest' and minutes later the party of three (including a surprisingly dapper-looking It) were off to 'Pink Kitty Studios' for glamor shots. (that's the last time I am spelling glamot without the 'u'; well the second to last time)
At the Studio, New York changed into a corset, bustier, and fishnet-stockings to be photographed with It. The disgusting pervert was all over her but New York was impressed that she was "...seeeing more of the man and less of an idiot" and was pleased "he appreciates my body in all its glory" (hahahahahaha)

Cheezy's date was less of a success. He stripped to his boxer shorts and even tried to kiss her in a desperate attempt to appear sexy. (only Whiteboy's vacuum kiss and tongue-rape could possibly be worse than this)
In the end, New York paddled his ass on the billiards table and left us with a classic New York quote; "I love the fact that I can beat this man down and he can take it; and enjoy it even."

Back home; New York is surprised to find Entertainer in her bathroom with a bubble-bath drawn and rose-petals strewn. Her first impulse is to throw him out, but this is New York, so she was in the bath in a flash, and allowed Entertainer to suck the French pedicure off her toes as she purred..."ooooh, Lord have Mercy"
And added further, "any doubts I had about The Entertainer melted away when he put my entire foot in his mouth"

Pleased with himself, The Entertainer exits New York's bedroom , only to be discomforted by Tailor Made's heading in the opposite direction . Alone together, Tailor Made tells New York, The Entertainer is violent and a loose cannon and "he doesn't feel comfortable with her being with The Entertainer when he is not there" (da hell? this guy is worse than Tango)

The Elimination Ceremony
At the ceremony, New York advises all the contestants that, "if you want to stay here, you better come to me and show me that."
The first name called is Tailor Made, which upsets Buddha and sparks The Entertainer to declare, 'if he wants to see a crazy violent person, I will show him; and I will fuck him up'
Then, in order, chains were given to It, Punk, Buddha, Midget Mac, Pretty, 20-Pack, Wolf and Mr. Wise.
One chain remained, therefore, and three contestants.

The Final Three
Man- Man clearly had no chance, Cheezy had no sexy to preserve and New York hinted her mother's 'third-eye' was trained on Entertainer, but he "sucks a mean toe" so The Entertainer received the final chain.
The Entertainer was relieved; Sister Patterson was not. All three eyes glared at The Entertainer as she went off on one of her classic rants, "you are a pervert, a filthy pervert". And she went on and on, "you're nasty, you are bottom of the barrel nasty"
But, you have to ask yourself if not The Entertainer, whom would she have chosen?


That's that then; next week a new contestant, Mr. Wise, is introduced, so we'll see what happens when he gets spat on by Tailor Made. Maybe we'll learn once and for all whether those Florida whiteboys are just talk and tongue.
Cheers; thanks for reading.

I'm writing the I Love New York recap tonight but until it's done and dusted you can hang at the radio-shows.
Gabrielle is recapping the Episode LIVE as you read (10:00pm EST) and will take your calls.
When that show is complete you can join Mr New York for a LIVE interview with Sister Patterson (FOL1, FOL2, I Love New York, ILNY2) at 11:00pm EST

Opened the comments box for y'all to discuss tonights execution elimination of Man-Man and Cheezy.
Oh; and thanks to the anonymous source who correctly foretold their exits.

I don't know if a New York video recap ought to start with Aurelius doing the soulja boy to the tune of ♪ superman dat ho ♫ (wha you tryna say, son?)
Anyways, it's time to relive Episode 2 of 'I love New York' and especially the scene where Midget Mac almost drowns. You know, I've read speculation that the floaty may have been shot at by a VH1 sniper; but I've heard Midget Mac's lil wee-wee caused the floaty to sink.
Sort of like when a pin pricks a balloon...

Ok, y'all, recap time.