Vote at Bourgy in the great debate. Flavor Of Love v Rock Of Love, which series produced the bigger stars.

Rock of Love Bus' Brittanya's boyfriend asks whether star of the show, Bret Michaels, is racist.

Today *Brittanya and Ashley* were eliminated, but you would have known that and more had you seen this predictor by Mary.

She sent me the schedule and the dates each lady returned home from their stint on Rock Of Love Bus

Itinerary:
9/14 WLRS Fest - Louisville, KY
9/16 Greenfield Indiana filming in Church
9/18 Danville IL. Ice Hockey Episode
9/21 The Venue @ Horseshoe Casino - Hammond, IN
9/27 Billy Bob’s - Ft. Worth, TX
9/28 Bayfest Festival - Corpus Christi, TX
10/3 Iron Horse Cafe - Birmingham, AL
10/4 Mobile Alabama Kid Rock Concert two girls
10/10 St. Augustine FL spotted at Villa Zaroyda and Casa Monica hotel
10/11 Gonzales Thunder Rally - Gonzales, TX
10/13 The Big Fresno Fair - Fresno,
Oct. 14-17 The Chesterfield Hotel, Miami with Final 3
10/18 Silver Legacy Casino - Reno, NV

And the girls' return dates
Mindy: not back until 10/17
Jamie: not back until 10/17
Taya: Might be final 3, can't find too much.
Beverly: home by 10/12

Kelsey: back by Oct 7
Farrah: back on 10/10
Ashley: home by 10/11
Brittanya: home by 10/ 10

'Rock of Love' winner Jes, as well as the other 19 (or 24) ladies will join Bret Michaels and audiences at the very first 'Rock of Love' Reunion Special. (By the way, to answer your and my question, LaLa ISN'T the host of this reunion). Catch the Barbee Twins Kristia and Brandi C. join Bret and the host in this 'Act 1' sneak peek from Vh1.com of the show:

Catch the reunion show in its entirety Sunday, October 7, at 9PM! Then, the day after, catch the 'I Love New York 2' season premiere.

Credit: VSPOT @ vh1.com

Heather, recently eliminated from 'Rock of Love' was of course disappointed at her rejection. (Then again, who wouldn't be?) People say the way she left was very classy (Sarcasm is the ish these days isn't it?!). After spending a whole day (and night, might I add), with Bret Michaels, bragging about it Jes's face, and talking s%#& to Jes at the elimination stands, she was eliminated, and didn't take it well. When Bret called her up first and told her the news, she quickly looked at him with that "look", and walked off, Bret sadly saying "Heather, please don't leave the house like this!". Different things happened on the finale, (so if you want a recap, read Steups's recap!), and alot of editing was taken place, as with all the episodes of all the shows. There has to be editing in order to fit all the stuff that goes on n at 24- or however many- hour day into a 1-hour episode, people, remember that. Heather might have left like this, but she sure didn't finish that way. This is an excerpt of what she had to say on one of her MySpace blogs:
..."AND LAST BUT NOT LEAST---I ABSOLUTELY, 100% DID NOT SAY I WOULD SHARE HIM.WE BOTH SAID NO..THAT WAS EDITED AND I AM SOOOO APPALLED BY THAT--AS IF THE STRIPPER THING WASNT ENOUGH, (WHICH I QUIT DOING MONTHS AGO)--OR PRETTY MUCH NEVER SHOWING ONE BAD THING ABOUT JESS, I GOT RAN THROUGH THE COALS AND HEARTBROKEN ONCE AGAIN..."

So there you have it. Heather says she also said she was not going to share Bret with Jes, and that they portrayed her wrong in the finale episode. To read the full blog, click here, and remember to watch the latest addition (as for what we know) to 'Rock of Love', the 'Rock of Love Reunion' special this Sunday, October 7, 2007 at 9pm, and then tune in the next day to 'I Love New York' at 9! I like Heather, but I think she was just doing waaay to much, with the whole 'A-Team' thing, the bragging, ugh. (Wait, one more thing...this cracks me up...)

Alright The Q. was wrong about 'Rock of Love' beating 'Flavor of Love' & 'I Love New York' in the rating games. Middle aged rockers truly bite. All y'all who buy Poison tickets, get Bret Michaels' tattoos and eat meat really let me down. I guess y'all are truly about the music. I applaud you. However, I thought Poison groupies alone would send the rating through the roof. They do have cable in senior assisted living facilities... right? *sighs

I really like Heather. I think I am an in the closet bisexual. (I might have to explore this on QGasm.) Nevermind, my point is I really, really like Heather. Rodeo and 'The Stripper' were my favorites from the start. There were other strippers, sluts, porn stars, fisters, writers, college graduates and possible hookers in the crib. However, Heather was labeled 'The Stripper'. So she strips for a living ...SO WHAT?! I'd prefer a woman who dances naked for a living over a woman who marries, have kids & stays in an abusive relationship. Some of you are reading and thinking WTH?! My point is it's her body and it's legal. Yet people want to sit in judgement of her because she can fit a pair of booty shorts minus cellulite and work the hayl out of a pole. Men give her money to turn them on. What a shame! But old Susie with the Christian Dior shades, two kids, home, car, husband is the pillar of our society. LOL! Yet she is getting her @ss kicked, raising dysfunctional kids who will most likely mimic the household they were raised in. Yep, I like Heather.
Steups has given us a new poll which actually gives us a choice of answers. (Miracles happen.) Rodeo long gone, I definitely want Heather to win. However, I feel Mr. Michaels is really into Jes. Men love mystery and a chase. I believe Jes wins. And then dumps him because he asked if he could keep them both. Go to VH1.com and check out the Vspot for yourself.

Do I know who wins? Hayl naw. If I knew, I wouldn't have written this post. Today Sunday, September 30th @ 9pm VH1 airs the 'Rock of Love' finale The Rose and the Thorn. If you didn't watch the entire season, no matter. Just f@cking tune in so we can argue in the comment box afterward.

A stripper Qmoment!

Despite the rumors, spoilers, or predictions you've all heard, looking back on the season and Jes and Heather's single or double dates, which one do you think wins Bret's heart in the end of it all? Do you think Jes is the winner, because she's more reserved and best for him? Or, do you think Heather is more his type, and more of a rocker-chick, and she will win?

Make your predictions, and find out who was right, who goes home, and who receives the very last Backstage pass to Bret's heart on this season finale of 'Rock of Love' this Sunday, September 30, @ 9PM!

Relieved from a long road trip to my destination, able to get on a computer, I log-in to MySpace to read another exciting, recent bulletin from the previously eliminated contestant of 'Rock of Love', the infamous - Lacey. She gives us a semi-sneek peak at what she's doing now, or about to do. Here's what she said in her unusually calm (Steups' words) phase...

"Hey Everyone,

So as you know, last Sunday I was eliminated from "Rock of Love". But don't fret! You know me! I'm not going away that easily! Haha! First of all, this Sunday, September 23, there will be a recap of the entire "Rock of Love" season, and they'll throw in some scenes that didn't make the first cut. So that will be fun.

Secondly, I've been talking to the producers of "Rock of Love" (51 Minds), and I don't think they're quite done with me yet! More than likely, you will be seeing me again on Vh1 in the not-so-distant future. Everything's still in the beginning stages of planning, so that's all I can tell you for now. But I will definitely keep you informed.

Thirdly, it has just been confirmed that I will the host of the new TV show "The Chronicles of Rock". This is going to be an exciting new show about living the life of up-and-coming rock bands. Go here to check it out:

http://www.myspace.com/bws

and please show them some love about choosing me as the host of this new show!

And lastly, check out my rescue group, "New Dawn Pet Rescue" on PetFinder.com (as seen on Animal Planet). Go to:

http://www.petfinder.com/shelters/CA1248.html

and click on "Our Adoptable Pet List" to see what little furry guys I have available for adoption.

Thanks again everyone, for the tremendous support you've been giving me. I truly appreciate it. Ya'll f-ing ROCK!!!

Cheers,

Lacey "

Agree to disagree, this is some very touchy stuff. Some will say... Lacey...havingh her own show...wtf? And as we know the posssessed others will be quite happy of her accomplishments on maybe getting her own show (this is what I'm getting from this. If anyone is feeling a different...vibe...lemme know).

What do y'all think?

I've been discussing Rock of Love and Flavor of Love with my friends, debating which show is better. Some say they like Bret's activities with the ladies better, and some say Flav is more fun. What do yall think? Just to clear your minds from the previous post...

And with also the contestants of each show, Which are better finalists in the top 2:

- Rock of Love:
Jes & Heather

- Flavor of Love 1:
New York
Hoopz

- Flavor of Love 2:
New York
Deelishis

- I Love New York 1:
Tango
Chance

Another interactive "D" Post

Missed one of Aurelius' Rock of Love or even Charm School video Recaps? Check out his new site, where you'll find all the YouTube links to his videos, updates and more! Also keep checking Aurelius' YouTube, and be sure to stay tuned in for the next episode of Aurelius' Rock of Love Recaps!

~ www.AureliusVideos.com ~

Also, remember to comment on his newest addition, episode 9 recap!

If you missed the morning premiere, don't forget to catch 'Rock of Love' Episode 10 tonight at 9 PM on VH1!
ROCK ON!!!

Ok, so we all know with 'Rock of Love', you either hate it or love it, as with all the realty TV shows on VH1. Wait, except for probably 'Flavor of Love'. I mean, really. Who could hate all the bed fights, spitting incidents, arguing, shoe throwing, running backstage, etc.? Anyways, before I get more and more excited for 'Flavor of Love 3', as we all know on Sunday's episode, B.B. AKA Brandi M. AKA Wild Thing AKA B***J** Brandi was eliminated from the series. Yes, she was my favorite, and as we all know, its a reality TV show, someone had to go home. Here's the mini-transcript of the elimination process:

Bret: “Brandi, do you want to stay in this house with me?"

Brandi M.: “Honestly, I don’t think I can bring my guard down.”

Bret: “You made this decision by yourself and your tour ends here.”

Brandi later explains, “I didn’t mean for him to think that I didn’t care. And it sucks, it hurts, it kills me that he misunderstood me.”

Anyways, since BB's gone, I won't cheer for anyone. The 3 ladies remaining in the house are Lacey, Heather, and Jes. We all know about the alliance between Heather and Lacey. Will they team up once more to get Jes kicked out? Will Jes override the two and make it to the top to win Bret's heart? What do you think? Post your predictions of who goes home Sunday at 9pm in your comment!

Lacey may be the most wonderful young woman in the world. On 'Rock of Love', she irks me. Her presence irks me so much, I can't bring myself to write a recap. Yep, honestly she is the reason y'all haven't gotten a recap out of The Q. I need to watch a show twice to be able to write a recap. Lacey's irritating behavior makes me actually want to give up on 'Rock of Love'.
New York a.k.a. Tiffany Pollard irks me too. New York is interestingly entertaining. It's something about her that makes you think, 'Is this broad for real?' Lacey on the other hand, causes me to think, 'B!tch shut the f_ck up! When in the hell is Bret going to kick this broad off? October 8th isn't arriving fast enough. I need 20 hot young men in my life!' I don't know who the final 2 will be, trying to win Bret's heart. I will type Rodeo and Heather have been my favorites all along. I liked Jes but I'm not feeling her now. I always thought she'd be one of the last women standing. She's just not entertaining enough for me as a 'Rock of Love' viewer. She's beautiful and too normal. She has too much common sense for reality television minus a spicy personality. Deelishis, Whiteboy, Onix, Hoopz, Tiger and others had common sense too but their personalities kept you entertained. Did I just make sense? (Doubt it.)

Back to Lacey, 666 has a video that Here4Beer wanted all of The Blogspot readers to view. 2006s 'This Thing Called Love' video irks me too, by the way. I will state on the record that I love the yellow dress.

Credit: Lacey Connor, YouTube & Here4Beer

An irked Qmoment!

My head is f@cking killing me. I can't sleep, eat or do much. So I went to MySpace to check messages. I had one from an 'I Love New York' cast member. *swoons I had many more from friends. I was going to sign off when I caught a glimpse of a Lacey bulletin. It mentioned the 'Rock of Love' Super Fan episode.

I am feeling exceptionally evil right now. So, I am going to give you my unedited & unsolicited opinion. My mother hasn't died. Actually it's her 67th birthday today. She is most likely in Reno, Nevada gambling my inheritance away as I type.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOMMY!!!

Your Muffin loves you. Now back to my unedited opinion that I am not going to keep to myself. I've been in therapy and prescribed medication. Whatever the reasons, I was f@cking depressed. I am not going to make excuses nor do I feel the need to explain. Call me a crazy b!tch, I don't care.

Yes 51 Minds could've left your explanation in but they didn't. Their decision because Lacey signed the contract, therefore they do what they do... EDIT. Was it shitty for them to edit your explanation out? No. Many of us honestly don't care. (That's what Lifetime, Dr. Phil & Oprah are for!) It was a good solid episode. Many a viewer was entertained. A las production did their job and made at least one person happy, ME. The loss of Lacey's mother didn't move the Super Fans because they still picked 666 a.k.a. Lacey in the bottom two. With all that typed, I am sorry to read about the loss of Lacey's mother. But if I want violins, I'll visit the symphony. Lacey's blog:

September 3, 2007 - Monday

the episode with the "Super fans", and how "real" is reality tv?

Hey Guys!

I often get asked if reality tv is actually "real". The answer is: "yes" and "no". It is not real in the sense that, how often in life would you be put into a situation of: a bunch of girls, forced to live together, and forced to compete for the same man...and forced to live together without TV, internet, books, radio, and not being allowed to leave the house. So of course that is not a "real" setting or scenario, and will obviously lead to events taking place that probably would not occur in real life. However, it WAS real in the sense that nothing was scripted, and for the most part, the producers did not tell us what to say or do, (but they do occasionally encourage us, or "egg us on"). And of course, as I said, I purposely (and obviously) made a big effort to rattle all the other girls. Yes, that "bitch" side of me is very real...however, in "real" life, it RARELY ever comes out. So all of this tells you that reality tv is both "real", and not "real", just depending on which way you want to look at it.

The other thing you have to keep in mind is that the producers can do whatever they want with editing. For the most part, the way Rock Of Love was edited is pretty true to how everything actually went down in the house. They didn't really change things up. But they DID leave quite a bit out. For the most part, I'm pretty happy with the way I'm being portrayed on the show. I WANTED - and set out to be - the dominant, devious, "puppet master" of the house. So the way it was edited is very true to that. However, I have to admit that I was a bit disturbed by one thing that did take place on the "super fans" episode that recently aired. Something very tragic happened in my life not to long ago...my Mother, who was EXTREMELY close with, suddenly passed away. I have always been a very happy person with a positive outlook on life. But when she passed away, it put me into an extreme state of sadness and mourning. Even though I had never taken medication in my life, after she died, I started taking anti-depressants, which helped me immensely with the healing process. On the show, the "super fans" asked me if I was in therapy, and I said "yes". Then they said "are you on medication?", I said "yes". What REALLY happened, was I said "yes, I am taking medication to help me heal from the death of my Mother". One of the "super fan" girls said "I'm so sorry to hear that. I experienced a death in my family too, so I can relate." But of course, they didn't show any of that. Instead, they just showed the girl saying, "Do you take medication", and then cut to me saying "yes", but then they cut out the explanation of WHY I was taking medicine. I have no problems with the producers making me out to be "the crazy one" on the show...that was part of my own plan and my own doing, too. However, to take something so personal to me...the death of my beloved Mother...and use it against me on the show...I thought that was pretty shitty of them. But, at the end of the day, they're just trying to make it a good show...so what can you do. But I did feel the need to write a blog about it...I thought that was something that should be explained to you guys.

Anyway, thanks for continuing to watch the show, and for continuing to show your love to me! You guys rock!!!

Take care,

Lacey

Credit: Lacey

An evil Qmoment!

Dallas was a fun interview. She is witty, bright and unbelievably funny. Dallas has no fear of VH-1 or 'big brother'. Dallas is who she is and makes ZERO apologies for it. She has a dark sense of humor that The Q. enjoys. There are jokes within her answers. I hope you all pick up on them. (And if you don't... so sad, too bad.) Dallas is a character, no doubt about it. Let the interview begin!

Where were you born and raised?

Houston, Texas. No, I wasn't named after the city Dallas nor a porn star. I was named after a person. (Got to love her, one less question to ask!)

What's your favorite childhood memory?

Wow that's a hard question. I'll tell you in 2 weeks. Actually, I don't have any.

Do you believe blonds have more fun?

No. Our society and the media likes to promote that blond & blue-eyed is the beauty aesthetic to shoot for. It's not. There is all sorts of beautiful women who aren't blond or blue-eyed. Blond isn't the be all and end all of beauty. I'm not blond and I have lots of fun.

What's your idea of fun?

Getting shit faced, being me, (watching) old movies, fashion shows and getting free sh!t.

Free sh!t is always good. Share with our readers what your experience was like during the 'Rock of Love' casting.

Really funny, I knew I was going to be on the show. They were acting like I was the second coming of Jesus. Afterwards, I packed my bag. I had to take this step.

Your thoughts once you arrived at the 'Rock of Love' mansion?

The furniture was filthy and used. The food seemed used too, as if it had been sitting there for 4 months. Considering I was the negro of the show, I should be thankful. They didn't beat me.

Give me a minute Dallas to get it together. You are killing me. Tiffany threw a racial slur at you. Did you think about taking her out?

No. She drank the entire time. She looked like she's in her 40s. I pity her. Whatever she called me didn't make a difference in my life. Who cares? I am not a n!#$er.

Fair enough. Are you thinking about joining PETA anytime soon?

Maybe, possibly I'll wear my fur coat. I should've packed 3 suitcases instead of 2. I could've packed my fur. We're in America. I'll wear leather, fur and eat meat. I am not Hitler or a publicist. I think there is a desire to promote an image that black people are evil. You would think by now people would be smarter and tolerant. I eat cheeseburgers. I am not raping babies, eating babies, raping animals & then eating them.

Okay that cancels out my beastiality question. I viewed Lacey and you get into a physical altercation, care to elaborate?

She continued to touch me for an hour or so with me telling her 'Don't touch me.' She kept on pushing me. I think there is a stereotype of sassy, black girl who will fight. Whoever's idea it was... I wasn't willing to cater to fulfilling their stereotype. I was conscious of my environment. I've had dreams of beating and degrading her (Lacey) for the entertainment of my future grandkids.

Did you make any life long friends in the house?

No, but the casting director is cool. I like Sammie. For the most part I don't like those 'smoke crack on your head hoes.'

You want me to include this in the interview?

Sure.

Explain your experience in a nutshell in the 'Rock of Love' mansion?

I was the most adult in the room. There was a lot drunkenness, no self respect and cliches. Things done out of stupidity. Basically individuals should've slowed down and stopped drinking.

You mentioned shoving fists up @sses. OUCH! Would you care to elaborate?

I don't receive anal play on me. I do it (fisting) because I'm talented. I really don't have a fetish.

What are your future goals and aspirations?

I want to be the black Marilyn Monroe. I want to be rich but not famous.

One more question, there is a lot of negativity on the message boards about your looks. Care to share your thoughts on the situation?

I don't care. I look like Naomi Campbell. I have more than looks. I have personality and a genius I.Q. I know who I am.

Alright then we're done. My fastest interview ever! By the way, I love the skull & cross bones dress. Where do you get those cute halter dresses?

I love Mexican clothing stores. They have the cutest clothes and good deals. The skull & cross bones dress was $8.

A quick Qmoment!

With Xbox 360™ and Playstation 3 in my home; it's a thaumaturgy I still read. Actually videos games can be quite the stress reducer. My favorite is still Grand Theft Auto II. What happen to the good old days of playing Tank on Atari? (Technology?)

Misterballer was kind enough to send me a link to an article pertaining to Bret Michaels. You guessed it. Bret Michaels likeness and voice will appear on the upcoming video game 'Guitar Hero III'. Mr. Michaels sings two singles for the game. There's more but CLICK HERE to get it from the horse's mouth. One will never have to miss Bret. You can just buy the game and play him forever & ever. Almost like you are one of the 'Beezys' in the 'Rock of Love' mansion.

One more thing, Misterballer thinks the guitarist with the likeness to Jess is a prediction of sorts to who wins Bret's heart and loins in the end. (The Q. doesn't know who wins. So please stop asking me. Thank you.)

Credit: IGN. com & Misterballer

An Atari missing Qmoment!

Didn't Mia (in light blue & white lingerie) ask a question along the lines of 'Wouldn't Bret prefer to take me home to his mother over Lacey or Heather?' Is it me or are many of these women flat out hypocrites?

Doesn't anyone besides New York, Thela, Sam & New York truly go on reality television love shows to find true love anymore? *snickers (Yes, I know. I typed New York twice.)

I saw this last week. However, I was being lazy as heck. I didn't post it. Aurelius is back from a weekend getaway with his family. (How cute!) Anyhow, Bhatti sent me the link & a light bulb came on. I should post this. Can I type:

IF BRET MICHAELS DOESN'T ELIMINATE LACEY NEXT WEEK, I AM NEVER BUYING ANOTHER ONE OF HIS ALBUMS!!!

Not much of a threat considering, I've never brought one. But I thought it would be a dramatic statement. For those expecting a 'Rock of Love' Recap .... DON'T. I don't have it in me to write about 666 (Lacey) and her delusions. What is this post about? Oh yeah, a radio interview with Mia & Jess who basically give it away that neither one of them were too interested in Bret. I least that's my interpretation.

Credit: Aurelius

A tired of Lacey's @ss Qmoment!

Do not blame Steups for the lack of new posts. I dropped the ball while knowing Steups was on vacation. If my life depended on it, I couldn't tell you the date. I think it's Thursday but I am not for sure.

Earlier this week, Aurelius sent me his recap. Other readers sent me pictures and information and well you see what happened .... nothing. My auto pilot switch is not working. (Sue me!)

Aurelius delivered another great video recap 'Rock of Love' Episode 5 or 6. Aurelius' song choice in the end nearly caused me, Death by Laughter. Thanks for cheering this old woman up.

An about time Qmoment!

The male readers of The 'Rock of Love' Blogspot have informed me that I am very unfair to the Bar-Bee Twins. (Unfair...my @ss!) Not wanting to alienate any one's wet dreams, I decided to give the Bar-Bee Twins' fans an update on the muses of many a nasty thought. Kristia a.k.a Bond Girl and Brandi C. are still blue eyed and blond. They are still posing in skimpy outfits too. And they are still as cute as Cock-A-Poo puppies. Oh and the pictures are a Benchwarmers sneak peek. (WTH is Benchwarmers?) Yep, that's the update. *bows "No, no, no...please no!" Genius is not to be applauded.

Man with the Bar-Bee Twins eliminated, I am running out of women to dislike. Oh wait, there is still Lacey and Erin. *thinks super duper hard Oh yeah and there is Barry White *coughs I mean Magdalena.

Y'all don't forget VH-1 is the place to be @9pm Sunday, August 12th. I think 'Rock of Love' episode khamseh (5) is going to be a muddy mess. Basically folks think sexy women pretending to play football in the mud.

A sleepless Qmoment!

'Rock of Love' episode 'Riff It Good' begins with a beautiful nighttime scenic view of Los Angeles, California. The Bret Beezys are hanging out in the 'Rock of Love' mansion. Heather appears to be playing bartender yet again. Her #1 patron is Brandi C. who requests a vodka drink. In the Chickfessional Brandi C. states, "My best friend Kristia, she went home. And I need to drown my sorrow with liquor." A second later she asks for, cha-pag-nay a.k.a. champagne (sham-peyn). No class comes in all colors. Trash knows no racial limits. The partying continues. Cindy a.k.a. Rodeo is in the mist of the action. However, she is looking distant and sad. We watch her remove herself from the festivities. Rodeo in the Chickfessional, "It just hit me that I miss my son. God, I miss my son." Lacey noticing a tearful Rodeo decides to run off and tattle tell to Bret. Lacey views Rodeo's emotional meltdown as a chance to get her out of the house. Bret finds Rodeo and attempts to assuage her. This moment is the incipient end for the self proclaimed Sheriff. *tips make believe snake skin cowgirl hat

Meanwhile the remaining half of the Bar-bee Twins realizes she is tired of the other Bret Beezys. ::BREAKING NEWS The Q. is tired of the Bar-bee Twins half or whole!:: Brandi C. decides she needs to spend some time with her boyfriend. She attempts to visit Mr. Michaels behind the red doors. Big John denies her entry. She pleads and whines. Big John tells her it ain't happening tonight. (D@mn Tiffany caused Big John to fold like a cheap lawn chair. Where is Brandi C.'s begging skills?)

New day or later on that day, we see Bret Michaels. The ladies are told their latest challenge. The challenge is a song writing and performance contest. The women will form five teams of tnein (2). The members of the winning team will each win a solo date with Bret. The women are excited about getting some one on one time with their man. Bret announces the teams. The pairs are Lacey & Erin, Rodeo & Mia, Brandi C. & Sam, Magdalena & Heather and Brandi M. & Jes.

We get to peep out how the teams are working with one another. Rodeo is writing up a storm and decides to sing her masterpiece. After her practice run, she bursts into the most contagious laugh. Rodeo is proud of herself. She knows she's going to win that one on one time with Bret. Mia on the other hand is like, 'What the f@ck?!' Lacey and Erin are sitting on the floor. Lacey is writing and working the song out. Erin is lost, almost clueless. Lacey attempts to tutor her in the art of playing the tambourine. Erin appears to have zero skills. ( I was positive her Gummy Bear implants would assist her in this challenge. I was WRONG!) Sam & Brandi C. are working it out. Well Sam is actually, thanks to her creepy like journal (per Brandi C., not I) . Blonds may or may not have more fun. I'll type this; those two sure in the hell can't sing. *beats dogs until they stop howling along with Brandi C.'s singing Heather and Mandalena seem to be working together. Heather is having some issues with Magdalena's lyrics. (I'm having issues with her voice.) However, you have to give Magdalena an A for effort. Brandi M. & Jes are chillin'. They haven't a clue to where to begin. Basically all they do is smoke and drink. Therefore they are lost.

It's challenge time. Bret is looking forward to seeing what the women have come up with. Richard Blade will be a guest judge alongside Bret and Big John. Lacey and Erin perform. I retract that last statement. Lacey performs. Erin stares at her feet. I retract that statement too. (There is no way in hell she can see her feet past those gigantic boobs.) Erin stares at her cleavage. Heather and Magdalena are next. They seem to be working well together. Whoever came up with this singing challenge should be shot in the foot. Jes and Brandi M. deliver a punk rock performance of sorts. They are raping guitars strings and belting out lyrics. As if they are possessed by Courtney Love on heroin. Mia & Rodeo are next. Their voices are the most bearable. However, I hear lyrics talking about kids. I am so sorry ladies. I don't get the connection or message. Rodeo does have a decent voice. (At least we all know who Mia is now.) Sam and Brandi C. bring up the rear. Brandi C.'s singing is worst than her irritating @ss personality. Sam's voice is a little better. I can't get past their voices. So honestly, I can't understand the lyrics. I think the chorus was blood, lace & mice. (WTF!) After their performance Bret questions them about their lyrics. Sam explains that they have doubts whether he really likes them or if it's a facade. In the Rockfessional Bret shares, "I think Sam is harboring some severe mistrust issues that I would be dealing with in the near future." (DUH...ya think?)

Right now, I want all the readers to know. The Q. is dead tired. My head hurts. I feel like I am about to faint. But you deserve a written recap. Therefore a written recap is what you shall get. WARNING: There will be excessive typos, figure it out.

Alright it's time for the Bret Beezys to receive their critiques. Richard tells Heather and Magdalena that it was a great team effort. He likes their lyrics. He asks who was the main force behind the lyrics. Heather raises her hand. Richard compliments her. Magdalena not to be outdone states, she equally contributed. Richard tells Jes and Brandi M. they looked terrific. However, he would've preferred the performance without the guitars. Erin and Lacey, I forgot what he said. Richard thought Rodeo and Mia gave a great performance. They worked good together. However, he wasn't getting the child related lyrics. Bret interjects that Rodeo had an anxiety attack due to missing her son. Richard says he wasn't aware of the situation. He advises Rodeo not to channel energy of missing her son into the song. It's time for Brandi C. & Sam to receive their critique. Richard thought the lyrics were good. However, the singing was unintelligible.

Drumroll please!

It's a tie between Team Heather & Magdalena and Team Sam & Brandi C. There will be no solo dates. Bret will take out Heather & Magdalena that night. And next day Sam & Brandi C. will get their date. The Bret Beezys have mixed reactions concerning the tie situation. Heather in the Chickenfessional states, "It's awesome that we won. But at the same time, a tie? I mean f@cking come on. That's such a cop out Bret." Blowfessional time for Brandi C., "Bret decides it's a tie. First of all that's bullsh!t. The other team didn't do as well as us. Heather and Magdalena sucked." (Brandi C. you sucked plenty in that porn. Hush child!) After the challenge, Rodeo breaks down again. She is missing her son something fierce. In addition, she is bummed about not getting an opportunity to spend more time with the 'Rock God'. Lacey and Brandi C. are lounging on their backs, watching Rodeo's tearworks. Brandi C. says to Lacey, "Everytime you turn around, she's crying. ...I know it sucks...If she's in an emotional state because of her kid, then I understand. But at the same time, I prepared myself. I miss my cat. I'm not kidding. Abnormally, I miss her." Blowfessional again for Brandi C., "Rodeo is kind of an attention whore. And she's really getting annoying. Girl needs to get her emotions in check." Rodeo is still crying as Mia & Jes attempt to console her.

It's time for winners Heather & Magdalena to go out with Bret. Heather is wearing a black corset, strapless top with a sparkling mini skirt. Magdalena is wearing a black dress. Bret compliments the Beezys on their performance. Mandalena brings up Rodeo's emotional state in the limousine. They arrive at 'The Geisha House' an upscale Japanese sushi restaurant. Bret informs the women that they must teach him the art of dating. Magdalena decides to be cute. She brings up Heather's stripping. Bret asks Heather how much longer she plans on dancing. She said her plan is to dance for 5 years. She is currently at 4 1/2 years. So in 6 months, she is quitting. In the Manfessional the Polish Wonder shares her insight on the situation, "Every stripper will tell you, 'I'm quitting next month' She's not going to quit stripping. She doesn't know how to do anything else any d@mn way." In a Rockfessional moment with Bret, we learn he has a big heart for dancers. A hostess in a lovely kimono approached the table with two gorgeous electric guitars. (Very nice move Bret!) Bret is having a really good time. He mentions he in not ready to go back to the 'Rock of Love' mansion. They talk of getting tattoos and piercings. Heather mentions getting a tattoo on the back of her neck ... B-R-E-T. She shares a passionate kiss with Bret. In the Rockfessional we learned Bret wants the tattoo to be more of a private affair between the two of them. He is also thinking Heather could be the one. On the way back in the limousine, we see a 3way kiss. Heather and Magdalene kiss Bret at the same time. I'll call it a Kissome (think kissing 3some).

The kissing trio arrive back at the 'Rock of Love' mansion. As they enter, Bret appears to be lit as in drunk. He stumbles a bit. They continue partying. Heather removes her top and dances. Chickfessional time with Jes, ".... completely trashed, this is the 139th time, I've seen Heather's t!ts." We get glimpse of Sam glowering down on the events. B.B. a.k.a. Brandi M. looks drunk & confused at the bar. Sam has had enough and walks off. Topless Heather smashes a guitar, as Bret encourages her. Heather, Lacey, Brandi C. & Bret decide to take the party to his bed. *thinking a F.F.-some!

Next morning, Brandi M., Erin, Mia and Jes are outside talking smack. Lacey joins the chat to see what all the uproar is about. She quickly discovers the F.F.-some has the others heated. She is thrown a few questions. Lacey refuses to answer any questions about the activities behind the red doors. Lucky us, it's time for Sam & Brandi C. date. Bret takes them to Paramount Ranch to partake in horseback riding. I'd give you more details. But I am tired. Frankly the date bored me to death and I wasn't even there. Brandi C.'s head was in the clouds. Sam and Bret walked off to share a private moment. The topic of Sam's trust issues came up. They ended up passionately kissing.

Electra is somewhere praying for me. I know this. I am finally at the f@cking elimination ceremony. Bret speaks to the women, "Good evening ladies, you look beautiful as always. Tonight we've got 10 beautiful women. And we've got 8 passes left. ...2 of you are unfortunately going to be going home this evening. Tonight, I am going to do things differently. Rodeo would you come down here please?... I want you to go home and see your little boy & give him a hug from me. Okay?" They embrace. He continues in a soft voice, "You need to go home and see your baby boy." He gives her a custom made hat. In the Rockfessional he shares that Rodeo meant a lot to him. He could tell that the combination of missing her son and the insanity of the house was tearing her apart. He needed to let Rodeo go with dignity. He walks her to the door. We can see letting Rodeo go, hit him hard. I believe he cried. He pulls himself together and starts giving out the V.I.P. passes. Mia, Jes, Erin, B.B. a.k.a. Brandi M., Magdalena & Sam receive their passes. Bret tells the remaining 3 ladies he has only 2 passes left. The irony is the 3 remaining were part of the F.F.-some. Lacey receives a pass and then Heather. Brandi C. is eliminated. (I am finally free of the Bar-bee Twins.) *does the Rumpshaker dance to celebrate

After being eliminated a tearful Brandi C. cries, "I'm just really shocked, really shocked right now. I can't believe he'd keep people like Erin or like Jes & Mia. It's so obvious how much I like him. And he's going to let me go above those others." Toast time Brets informs the Bret Beezy's his liver isn't doing so swell. It's going to be a water toast. D@mn Bret, where's the cha-pag-ney?

In the B!tchfessional we hear Lacey speak, "Now that Brandi C.'s gone. Heather and I definitely have our agenda now. We're going to stop concentrating so much on the partying. And start focusing on the girls who are wrong for Bret. (He hunts. Look into the mirror Lacey!) And you know what we are going to be targeting them one by one. And getting them out of here one by one." (There is a 666 birthmark somewhere on her body. I know it.)

A traumatized Qmoment!

If you had to choose between dating Samantha or Erin from 'Rock of Love' based off the first two episodes, who would you date?

The writer/bartender Sam (tattoos) or Miss Hooters of Illinois (gummy bear boobs)..... *wonders; Are there really gummy bears implanted in her breasts? (Steups:They both had nose jobs I think)