Mr. Boston Humbles Q

As some of you may know, I had the pleasure of interviewing Mr. Boston. It was quite a humbling experience. And I must add if laughter is food for the soul, my soul is obese. Every time I talk to this cat (I've been T-Boneized), my stomach hurts and tears are running down my face. There are a whole lot of adjectives to describe Mr Boston and his charm. Funny is by far the front runner in the adjective race.

Hello.
Hello may I speak with Mr. Boston?

Hey Quanda, how are you?
I am good, how are you?

I am good ...ah thanks for asking.
Well you know the drill. Tell me what you want all the readers at the 'Flavor of Love' Blogspot to know about 'I Love New York' Episode 5.

Ah ...well ...ah ...um I was happy to see Rico go. He was not the ah ...best from an entertainment perspective. As far as me honing in on the 12 Pack, Real fiasco ...ah I w-w-was expecting to walk in on a threesome (Onix recently mentioned this very same word. Men and their pornographic minds.) in progress. I gave them a solid hour before I interrupted. I walk in and they still have their tuxedos on. New York is in the ja-c-c-cuzzi with bikini on, rose petals all around. I realized they were doing an amazing job. 12 Pack and Real are stepping it up. They were bringing their A game. I go over to steal a kiss from New York and I accidentally drain the tub.

Accidentally?! I thought you were being soooo slick.
I-I-I know, I know but Quanda it was an accident. I am pretty glad it happened. It killed the mood. I was implementing my midnight strategy.

Midnight strategy?
Yes, ...ah Quanda see New York goes to bed around 1 or 2 a.m. So before she goes ...um to bed I prepared her a snack. Rico's fruit was pathetic. My strategy was to be the last one to see her before she turns in for the night. So ...ah when she went to sleep, she'd be thinking about me.

What did you make for her midnight snack?
Um ... ah quesadillas with ranch dressing. ( Hidden Valley Ranch must be raking in the $$$ with the gallons of dressing Weave -a- Beast devours.)

Quesadillas with ranch dressing, is that good?
Yes, it is really good. Tiffany taught me how to make it. I don't really know my w-w-way around the kitchen. But ...ah ...um I just throw tortillas and cheese in the microwave. And then I pour the dressing on top of it. It's really good Quanda.

(I can only imagine 5 star snacking.) Ummm... Mr Boston, I noticed you kissing New York again. Are you getting use to kissing her at this point?
I am ...ah enjoying making out with Tiffany by this time. I mean we have made out 3, 4, 5 times by this ...ah time. I am liking her huge full lips. I am actually noticing black chicks more and more.

You know what they say Mr. Boston ...once you go black you never go back.
That may be true, I am paying a lot more attention to the black ladies now.

On that note, did you take another look at my picture?
Ah yeah actually I did. You are attractive. I didn't have high expectations.

Wtf ...what do you mean you didn't have high expectations?
Your voice ...ah ...yeah your voice.

What about my voice?
You sound like an older woman like 5o or so.

50 or so?
Yeah, I'd say around 50. Ah Quanda look at it this way I ...ah could've said 60s or 70s. 50 ain't so bad. But your picture made up for it ...ah very nice.

I've lost my train of thought. ( This f@#%er said I sound old!) Um ...give me a moment to get it together. He laughs. Oh yeah, let's go back to the beginning of the show. How was it working out with 12 Pack?
I had never worked out in my life. There were all sorts of buff guys in the house working out. I figure I don't need to work out. I have personality and the Boston charm. 12 Pack woke me up at 7 a.m. , a little to early if you ask me. I figure I should listen to him, considering his buffness (This is not a word...sue him!) and all. You know when my head was moving side to side?

Yes.
Well that wasn't my nervous tick. I am doing bicep curls and flies and bugs are flying into my ears and nose. You would think the VH-1 producers would've given us bug spray.

I knoooow! What is up with those VH-1 producers? Oh, we have to touch on the V spot extras. What's up with the chapstick? You take my man's chapstick?
No Quanda. Whiteboy is always using chapstick like a girl. I don't know what happen to it. I offered him some of mine. I have a big jar of Vaseline. He just kept on yelling at me. He's a total tool. He can be nice sometimes.

Did you say jar of Vaseline?
Ah Quanda don't be thinking none of the homosexual stuff. I use it to moisturize my skin.

I burst into uncontrollable laughter. He laughs too.
I wasn't thinking anything of the sort. A lot of black people use Vaseline to moisturize their skin. I was wondering if you have any black ancestors?
Not that I know of. I doubt it.

Well there is a white family who discovered they were descendants of Thomas Jefferson. They weren't descendants of Martha either. Sally Hemings was their ancestor.
Oh yeah, I heard about that. Thomas Jefferson fathered all these kids with his slave. I could have a black ancestor or two. You never know.

At this time, my irritating daughter insists on asking him a question. I pass the question on to him and then I answer for him. She is banished out of my room. She can forget about that new Baby Phat outfit! The question was in regards to him really being attracted to New York and did he really go on the show for her. I answered for him knowing his previous answer. He added the following;

Recently I was in a club and a fella came up to me and asked how I could kiss that she-man.

F@#k, the damn Rottweiler mutt got into the house! Be right back! I wish the pit would make that mutt into a scooby snack. Where is my darn notebook? Okay we are back on track. Interruptions during the interview and now the type up are killing me!

Were you upset that Whiteboy won the date? And what are your thoughts on kissing New York?
Basketball in not my specialty. ( Could've fooled me!) I am not the most coordinated person. I gave it my best shot. I lasted 3 minutes with that Tamara Moore chick. Most guys only lasted a minute. Afterwards, I almost threw up. Tamara said I showed the most determination and that I should've won the date.

Really! You did try hard. I'll give you credit for that. In hindsight, I think you should've won too. The date was very traumatizing. I am scarred for life ...your thoughts on the date.
Whiteboy didn't talk a lot. He's too cool. He has this you have to impress me attitude. If that is his A game. I am not worried. New York told me I give the best kisses. ( There is something I want to type but if I do...my fan club will riot.)

I am really hurt. Well what's up with the Tango, Whiteboy beef?
Well Quanda, Whiteboy does have some positive qualities. He hangs out with Chance & Real most of the time. He is smooth with the ladies, 'The Master of Less is More' type of guy. He doesn't do too much. He has a certain mystique about him. You know he is a fellow Jew. And we get the job done for the ladies. ( I can't take too much more of this.) Tango has a good side. And he can be the most caring person in the world. The beef added a whole lot of entertainment value to the show. ( This picture is for Mai Tye. And she knows why! LOL.)

Alright, appease the hater in me. New York's body on the show vs. her body now, what's your honest opinion?
I don't understand. ... Ah ...um her body was perfect. I mean she had an awesome body. Ah h-h-her breasts where perfect, not too big ...ah not too small. Nothing was wrong with her body. Now her breasts look like a couple of hot air ballons. I mean if she plans on posing for Playboy, they'll be great for that sort of thing. I think they were a mistake. I don't want to be mean. I like Tiffany. She's gain a little weight, she's still the same person. By the way Quanda, you are going to enjoy Episode 6 a lot more that Episode 5. It's a lot of stuff happening and going on.

Will I? Well I hope so. Okay, back to me ... on a scale of 1 to 10, rate me.
Ah ...um I'd give you a solid 8.

An 8, that's pretty good. Thanks.
No problem Quanda.

Alright Mr. Boston talk to you soon.
Okay, bye.

You've just shared a Qmoment!

We waited two weeks for this?
Two weeks probably wasn't enough of a wait for this episode because it was straight poppin (that's some fake-ass lingo in ode to Whiteboy)
( Oh, I got an Ode for you but I am going to save it for e-mail!)

So let's get to it, but be warned, I just might be a little bitter.
(WTF is new, you are a bitter man.)

Episode 5 had a slow start in Mr. Boston's bedroom with 12 Pack (brushing his teeth) inviting him (Boston) to the gym to work on his body.
12Pack had good intentions, saying "when I train someone I want them to look just like me"; but this is Mr Boston we are talkin' bout, yo.
Dr 90210 and Oprah's make up guy couldn't make him look like 12 Pack.
(Neither was that gallon of orange juice.)

I don't want to go all Heat on the readers; but 12 Pack ain't a bad-looking fella.
(raises eyebrow)
(Irre are you watching?)


Anyway, my gay moment was interrupted by whom else? Chamo!
Chamo was dressed in white Charlie's Angel shorts that clung to his groin for dear life (yeah I watched)
That boy is just too gay; however, one of our commenters saw him in Popeye's® recently and swears he didn't look gay at all.
He also said he wore a bleached jeans, tight shirt and brown Pumas
(yeah, that's gay enough for me)

So Chamo's challenge is actually a basketball challenge and the boys quickly gear up and are driven to Venice Beach (j) for a bit of B-ball.
Immediately Tango starts organizing shit and advises the guys to run drills which admittedly some of them desperately need. Not Chance though, Chance is hood and "play ball is all you do in the hood"
(Get the f*ck outta here...your hood has Arabian horses and jeri-curl!)
( Chance I had nothing to do with that comment.)

New York announces that she enlisted professional help for this challenge which sets off speculation and raised eyebrows.
The professional help turns out to be Tamara Moore, a guard from the LA Sparks.
(Who? I didn't know the WNBA still exists)
( Yeah, bitch it does....you want some?)

The competition's rules are one on one against Tamara. You score a basket; you win. You don't; you lose.

Chance goes first and drives at Tamara but she stands up her man and forces a bad shot. It's her possession now and she takes it to the hole (that's basketball jargon)
(might be lesbian jargon too)
( Why does every female who has skills and doesn't look like a Playboy Playmate get tagged as a lesbian? Why people, why?)
12 Pack is next - loser

And then Real proves once again why I like his ass (not his ass-ass. You know what I mean)
Real recognises that Tamara Moore is sexy as hell and when she has possession he pretends he's guarding her but takes the opportunity to feel her butt (heh)
(damn, Persia choked again. Get outta here with that cryin' shit)
(That's what happens when you strip the act from a fronter)
( Looks down this MFer is really itching for me to cut him.....Steups takes Whiteboy hateration to the 9th degree.)

And that's the perfect segue to Whiteboy.
It's Whiteboy's turn to take on Tamara, and like any fake-baller who steps to a girl, he pulled up and took a shot. The guy took a shot from the arc against a girl.
I don't care what Gloria Steinem says, that shit is just unmanly. I ached in my groin when he did that.
But, whateva...he won.
( Aching in the groin, don't have nothing to do with the 'Swagger Man's' skills....seek medical attention promptly.)

Next comes Tango. Now, Tango worries me. Tango worries me a lot.
This dude has become so sweet he's making ants crawl on my television.
Tango drives on Tamara but finds himself taking a fade-away jumper and dislocates his shoulder!
Wtf?
*shaking my head

To compound matters he calls a T-O (TIMEOUT)
Wtf?
Whiteboy clowned him for a minute and for once my mind synched with Whiteboys'
(I felt a strange light-headedness and saw Quanda winking at me)
(the wink made me shiver)
( I like you at this moment. Did you notice my baby has hoop skills? I am shivering too.)

But back to the show. Tamara asked the Tan-man (rolls eyes) if he was okay and if he'd come at her later.

Luckily Rico stepped to the plate because the estrogen level was just too high when Tango was on the screen.
Rico knocked Tamara to the floor with a shoulder-bump (wowwwwwww)
Then he faked her out before stroking a high-arching jumper that found nothing but net.
Damnnnnnnnn.
( Hmmph...hmmph....hmmph Quanda quiero Rico mucho.)

Boston had a go too; but who cares, he lost.
( What you gonna let his double dribbling ass just slide?)
And Tango returned to embarrass himself further.
( Well at least he tried....LMAO.)

So, that meant Rico and Whiteboy squared off to win a date with New York. To win you needed 3 baskets and Whiteboy won
Yeah, the dude hit two jumpers and schooled Rico for the third.
(At this point you realise Rico is a runner-up guy. A guy who's nice enough but not enough enough. You know what I'm saying?)
( Wow, you are so right! He is my runner up too.)

So Whiteboy wins the date (and I picture Quanda in her dressing gown chewing on her nails) (Life is sweeeeeet)
( Imagine me in a red bra and matching panties, stomach turning. Can CHAMO get some love? He was working out those cheerleader moves!)
But before the date 12 Pack and Real scheme and prepare an after-date ceremony for New York.
But where's Tango?

Oh, there he is.
Tango knocks on New York's bedroom door to let her know he's off to the hospital to sort his arm out (sort your balls out too while you're there)

The Date
New York is dressed in an adorable hooped mini-dress perfectly 'accessorized' with her sexy body..
And Whiteboy? Well I thought he looked like Sean Paul before, but today he was dressed like a broke-ass Ru Paul in his fly jacket and a shirt too corny for Old Navy.
( Whiteboy is all man baby! And I must say New York was working the hell out of that dress.)

At the restaurant Whiteboy is macking, feeding New York with his finger and feigning to lick her. *wiping tears
I remember someone saying Whiteboy is a licker, well they are dead right; he looks like he 'licka some ass' (uses Ricky Ricardo voice)
Hello!

Yet, for all my hating; New York seems to like him; saying things that hurt me like "there is no denying the chemistry" and "you give me butterflies"
Wtf?
( Yes, I get those same butterflies. I know all too well.)

Whiteboy (in the confessional) says "it was peaceful, I actually got to clear my mind"
(I wonder how long that took)
( Half the time it would take you.)

And if my night couldn't get worse, New York leans to her side and retrieves a wrapped gift from the side of her feet.
Noooooooooo! Not a gift?

Yes,a gift. A Gianto watch!
A gianto is like $600
Wtf?
( A classy move on her part or VH-1 for that matter.)

I was about to go Pumkin on the television until New York brought me back.
She and Whiteboy kissed and New York said, "he gnashes at me. He gnaws at my bottom lip"
"He gotta learn how to kiss"

THUD!
(I fall to the floor)
( Get the f@#% up. He can kiss me like that anytime he wants.)

The date ends and they return home only to open the door and be greeted by Real and 12 Pack, dressed in tuxedos with roses in hand.
It's about to go down now.

Pt2.

All-State commercial is on
(and suddenly Barrack Obama comes to mind and I conclude I'd rather vote for the guy from "24")

Ahhhhh, the show is back.

12Pack and Real are all dressed up, looking fly; except...
Except 12 Pack has a red bow-tie on. Nooo mannnnnnn; that is so bachelorette party.
Only male strippers wear red bow-ties
(then I remember 12 Pack is a stripper and the bow-tie becomes acceptable)
(then I remember he is also a high-school coach and the bow-tie becomes unacceptable again)

They (because I can't remember who) inform New York she ought to follow the rose petals. And Whiteboy, who seemed cool with the idea (as if he had a f*cking choice) says he let it happen because he didn't "want to f*ck up and say something stupid"
(now why the hell didn't you come up with that idea 4 Episodes ago?)

He also says something about letting them "execute", but I have a 12 word limit with Whiteboy so I tuned out.
The execution turned out to be a spa-type session with Real and 12Pack as the pedicurist and masseuse. (Pedicurist is a word, right?)
For the occasion, New York was suitably under-dressed in a cornflower-blue bikini (take my word for it) and looked as she always looks...sexier than Oprah signing a cheque (Brit spelling by special request)

And she knows it too, saying "I have the body of a f*cking goddess"
(not anymore, you don't)
(and we'll know why later)

Back to the spa sex session and 12Pack says the menu includes bubble-baths, massage oils and self-portraits.
Ok, he had me until self-portraits.
(sounds like a Greenwich village date)

But don't knock it until you try it, I guess; because it wasn't long before New York was oohing and ahhing as Real said "relax your feet, relax your body"
New York didn't need him to tell her that because she was in heat, literally.

Breathlessly, my girl said "I feel so hot right now"
(do women still say that? That's so high-school)

(lower your mind's voice to read what follows)
"Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh", she moaned
(ok, you can raise the volume again)

12 Pack is rubbing her thighs and stomach whilst Real is massaging her feet.
(this shit is better than the Kim Kardashian sex-tape)

And just when I am in the mood and playing with my nipples and shit; New York says the "pelvic area is one of those pleasure zones"
(of course it is New York that's where your vagina is, for crying out loud)
(turned me right off with that ditzy comment)

Didn't turn her off, nor Real who confessed to being aroused.
New York went farther than that saying she "climaxed during the massage"
(wowwwwwwwww)
(she said that right? I don't want to ruin her reputation or nothin')

The plan was executing perfectly and then we saw another side to the Stallionaires.
We know Chance does hair, but do you know Real does nails?
And when New York said he "did her nails better than any Vietnamese woman that I have ever been to", you know that boy can do feet.

The testosterone was high at this point and we needed more estrogen to create that Zen balance, so who appears?
You guessed it; Tango!

The Tan-man skipped up the stairs, arm in a sling to tell Mommy New York he's gonna be alright. He's gonna live. He braved the torture of a sore arm and survived.
(somebody print a f*cking t-shirt for this shit )

Tango opened Pandora's box and there were a spate of interruptions as the spa session moved to the bathroom. First Boston comes in to offer New York a late night snack; news which the greedy bugger greets with uncommon enthusiasm.
Meanwhile Rico is slicing fruit in the kitchen for his hostess.
(I hope to God he didn't put any watermelon in there)

Whatever it was, New York mocked his fruit-bowl saying it looks like the "gnats got to it"
Before that moment however, New York and Boston had a tongue session that made my insides tumble.
(If Janet Jackson caused such an uproar for her bare breasts what are the FCC doing about this shit because that kiss is obscene)

Of Boston, New York said "I think we can make love on a stack of textbooks"
(I got nothin' to say. I got nothin to say about that)

A scene ensues where Chance wrestles with a foot-long bug (might have been his brother, lmao) and uses his Tony Montana voice to say "you'll die, muthaf*cka"
(yawns)
And that was the end of the night's proceeding.

The next day's scene begins with an outdoor lunch and the guys are getting on well having fun despite the presence of a (thinking of a collective noun) lot of bees, lol.
Sister Patterson is holding fort and preaching; saying she wants to know the guys better.
Boston confesses he's been making midnight snacks for New York; to which Sister Patterson says, "don't fix her any more food at midnight; she'll get fat!"

But that quote paled in comparison to her announcement that "someone at the table has came in this house and has totally fallen in love with Ms New York"
(Has came? Made me cringe, that did)
Immediately Tango starts batting his eye-lids and has that eager look the nerds have when a question is asked. He sputters part of his confession but a bee decides that this moment is perfect to sting New York.
(I guess you could say the bee has came in her)

They all retire to the mansion's living room and Tango says, or rather whispers to New York, "can I speak to you in private?"
Whiteboy (who else?) opens his mouth to say why every time he needs to talk it has to be in private.
Well that was all Tango needed to go Sheneneh on his ass.
"What are you worried about it for", he says. And sprinkles a few threats to go with the sass.
Whiteboy responds by putting on his stunnas to stop anyone seeing the fear in his eyes
(both of these guys are just messy)

They argue, more forth than back and Sister P shouts over both their voices to inform us that "that man(Tango) is in love".
It all seems staged to me as if Tango is playing the role New York portrayed in Flavor of Love; but maybe I am thinking too much.

Real or not Tango takes a walk in the garden to clear his head (oh brother) and wouldn't you know it, New York spots him from her balconied vantage point.
(Woooo, I am showing off my vocabulary, lmao)

They have a moment, and I wish I could reproduce the conversation but I can't.
First Tango apologises and New York compares them to Romeo and Juliet and says:
"You allow others to take yourself away from me"
"You deserve happiness; give me the opportunity to give that to you", was Tango's reply.
He continues:
"You can't look at me and tell me you don't care about me just a little"

The scene majestically cuts to Chance saying "that's Pootie type shit right there" before returning to New York's final word to Tango that she'll "see him at Eliminations"


The Elimination Ceremony
New York emerges from the staircase dressed in a blue strapless gown and makes her decision, chain by chain.



1) Real (Sister Patterson says "he is my favorite, I want to stroke his hair")

2) 12 Pack (New York asks if he has love for her and his reply is golden; "you see me standing here with this stupid face?")

3) Whiteboy (New York says he is "incredible")
(but he can't kiss; hahahaahahahahahahaha)

4) Chance

5) Mr. Boston

So it's come to this, a tale of two snitches.
New York shows genuine emotion and seems to be in agony...moments elapse and then she says , "Rico....this chain is not for you, but come to me please"
(if I were a girl I'd cry)
( I am a woman and I didn't shed a tear. Rico baby....keep your head up! And I know you ain't tripping....your girl is hot! And she can grow hair.)

Rico trundled off and told the camera that "she missed out on a good guy", but only after he dismissed her elimination explanation as "crap".
That meant
6) Tango

The Tan-man lives to fight another day and New York gave him all the encouragement he needs, confessing that she "feels a connection"

Tango's private comment to the camera was "a good man went home; now I am free to be an asshole to everyone I need to be an asshole too"
(uh, can you start with Whiteboy please?)
( Sure he can if his shoulder doesn't give out and he avoids a splinter attack.)

Whew; I made it through another one.
Actually I am booking a flight to murder your a@%....next week's recap ain't looking good for you.
Laterz.

I am as busy as a scalper today but here's today's round-up.

Episode 5 is on later tonight and I will be back with a recap around midnight. It might be later though, because those recaps aren't fun; for real.
If I didn't know what PMS felt like I know now. Each recap is a bloody chore (pun intended)

Quanda, may have a surprise in store that involves a contestant, but I doubt you'll be able to read it until tomorrow morning at the earliest.

Tomorrow is a significant day because it will be the day after our 1yr anniversary.
Yes, today the blog is one year old and I thank and appreciate all of you who've read and took the time to comment.
Many thanks to those who wrote and contributed stories.
But we don't want to belabor the point because it's not a big deal, really.

Soon enough we'll be devoting many of our writing to VH-1's latest reality offering, Charm School; and thanks to KP we have news of a filmed episode.

Apparently the girls visited another type of school for one of the episodes to be aired. According to The Daily Titan the cast were guests of Cal State Fullerton to take advice on debating and argument construction.
Read more of the Charm School cast's visit to Cal State Fullerton

And if you have the time and the inclination refresh your memory with all the I Love New York Episode recaps we've done thus far.

That's it for this but of news but I've just received an email with a link to a Mr.Boston interview wherein he disses Chance and Whiteboy; so I'll be back with that after I've read it.
laterz.

The marketing people at VH1 have done an excellent job of keeping 'I Love New York' on our minds during the Super Bowl break. New York, Sister Patterson and the contestants have had radio interviews and appeared on the Tyra Banks Show.

Now they are doing tabloid print promotion as seen in the February 19th edition of Star Magazine.
According to Ivory (wink) who's seen it; there is an interview with Sister Patterson under the title "New York's Finest" (which used to be the blog's tag-line, Ivory reminds me).

Ivory said, and I should quote her here because I feel lazy:

Ms. Michelle is asked about five questions' ranging from her opinion on Flavor Flav to what she is looking for in a man herself (money!!).
Also, there is a Star Reader poll asking which contestants would most likely win. They restricted the vote to these contestants: Chance, Mr. Boston, 12 Pack, White Boy and Tango.
Here are the results showing the percentage each man received from the poll. The question asked was 'which man would win her heart?'

Mr. Boston - 12%
Chance - 18%
12 Pack - 19%
White Boy - 21%
Tango - 30%

I wonder if this means Rico and Real are sent home in Episode 5?
Maybe it's just a coincidence.

Briefly, KP (PopCultureJunkies.com) says the Charm School contestant list is finalized and those selected are:

I've removed the list because I've been reliably informed that it is inaccurate.


Of the group only Somethin was not previously announced here; and her selection surprises me because I spoke to her about the show and the bugger said she was never asked to appear.
Whateva.
(and this too, is wrong. Somethin herself, told me she is not a contestant on Charm School)


Go visit Concrete Loop because they send a lot of people to this site and we don't send as much



I owe a drink and dinner to: Ivory and KP