Not much to talk about, but it's always good to have a new article, so let's talk ratings.
I love New York Episode 4 had 3.6 million viewers; a negligible increase from its Episode 3 numbers.

For the record (why do people say that?) here are the ratings for each episode of "I Love New York"

Episode 1 - 4.4 million
Episode 2 - 3.2 million
Episode 3 - 3.5 million
Episode 4 - 3.6 million

There are almost a million bastards who saw the Premiere of I Love New York and never returned.
Wtf is wrong with you people?

Anyways, I am off to have lunch. On the menu are Chips Ahoy! and Snapple 'What-a-Melon'; but of course you can't have them together because it ...(you don't care do you?)
Laterz.

48 hours was more than enough to air all our drama and grievances but it really is time to get back to the reason why we congregate here; to chat and enjoy each other's e-company.
I may have had an answer to every accusation but I must have done something to distress the four or five people who went off on me. For that, I apologize.
And I am now extending invitations to every one of you to return to the roles you once had.
If Groovy wants to write for the blog again; she is welcome.
If Quanda wants to do likewise; that's fine with me.

My head is too saturated with normalization and relational databases and all the other shit I am supposed to be learning to be bothered with internet kung fu.
So, let's watch some video shall we...

I used my invisibility cloak to hide these I Love New York snippets when the Viacom guys stormed YouTube to have them removed.

The first video shows Tango and Rico torn between friendship and wanting to boot out a rival doing the right thing by New York.

Next we have the consequences of their decision as Onix (thanks for commenting) is eliminated but not without a parting shot at New York




And finally, we have New York eating 600lbs of lobster meat




Obviously they will remove these videos in the next few hours so watch them while you can. I'll be back with news of Charm School and the final list of contestants.

Back and Forth with Onix Sort of....

This is not an interview. But it's his words as he typed them in his blog. I added my warped comments as usual. I all but threw myself at Onix but he just kept reading my messages. I am not trying to make him look completely mean, cruel and heartless. He had returned most of my messages and even showed me some love in my comment box. Once, I asked him for an interview follow up........(do you hear the crickets). If that isn't Groovy loyalty, I don't know what is. If it isn't Groovy, this beautiful brother isn't having it. I like her too, Onix. But damn can I get some love?

Enough about rejection (Steups I know how you feel...MUAH), Onix recently got his blog on and he had a lot to write. I totally hear what he is saying. But someone has to be the 'devil's advocate' (sorry Electra), why not me?
So here we go!

Why I did the 'I Love New York' show...... (part one)

Thank you so much! But let me say this. I didn't go on 'I Love New York' to find true love.
Your welcome! So you went on there to bullshit her and break her heart for the third time?

Seriously, who goes on television to find true love?

Huh, a lot of people....hence 'The Bachelor' and all sorts of these ridiculous dating shows that keep us rolling on the floor.

Did anyone of Flavor of Love season 1 or 2 find true love?
Not that I know of...but hey it was sure mindless entertainment. Now that I think about it, I need to get some interviews from those ladies.

What would make anyone think that "true love" would be found on ILNY?
I guess because that chick from 'The Bachelorette' did. She had a big pink wedding and didn't have to pay for a damn thing. That could be why...but that's just my observation.

I went on the show because I auditioned just like all of the other guys, and the casting director chose me.
Unless you are boinking the casting director that's what you do to get cast in the show. HELLO.....!

Obviously there was something appealing about me, and they thought that they needed a guy like me on the show. Perhaps they wanted to see it Tiffany would be interested in a normal guy that was complete opposite of Flav. Or, maybe they wanted to see if I would interested in a crazy drama queen like NY. Whatever the reason, I was still chosen.
Duh.....was the casting director blind....was it Helen Keller? You are the most beautiful man I've seen in a long time. I'd go to the extreme of saying that you are in my all time Top 5. Most shows need some type of eye candy. Why not 'I Love New York'? Thank God you were chosen.

I decided to say yes to the show because I came to the conclusion that this was a once in a lifetime opportunity. I'd be a fool to pass it up.
Or a fool to appear on national TV.

Yes, I was interested in meeting Tiffany, not because I wanted to be with her, but because I was intrigued by her whole persona. I wanted to know if she was really the same character that we all saw on television. (mind you... we filmed our show while FOL 2 was airing, we didn't know that she came back, and was worse than ever).
I am not feeling your reason. But hey you are still fine. You do you.

If I met her and we hit it off... oh well, that would have been real cool. However, that was very unlikely. But I was willing to take a chance and see.
So, you did have an open mind. Wondering why it was highly unlikely. Chance(s) sometimes work out for the best.

(VH-1, do I ever make you a wee bit nervous? I am actually harmless.)

Before going on the show, I was not actively pursuing a career in entertainment. I did some modeling a few years back. Now, who knows. The show was a hit, and we're getting a good amount of exposure. I'm interested in going the route of hosting (perhaps another reality show, game show, vj, or entertainment news).
I am praying you pursue your opportunities in the entertainment field. I would love to see you on the screen big or small.

Why I almost didn't do the 'I Love New York' show (part two)

I had my reservation at first about doing a show like this.
Any smart man would.

I watched Flavor of Love. I can call myself a fan of the show. Yet, at times it was cumbersome to watch.
Who you tellin'?

I felt that the stereotypes that it was perpetuating was not conducive to the growth of our society. I would think to myself, what do others think of black people when they watch this show.
Huh.....the same shit they already think about us. If they aren't prejudice or racist, they aren't going to be thinking 'look at how black people act'. They most likely thought 'damn Flavor Flav has some crazy honeys on his tip.'

Some people called it a minstrel show. And yes, you may rebut, "but they're were white people on the show too!" Yes, there were, but many would conclude that they too were "ghetto." Which in our society translates to acting black.
I personally am not going to put myself in a box. I don't act like any of those women on that show. Not that I have a 'big issue' with the way they carried themselves. It just isn't how I carry myself. And I didn't see anything 'black' about their behavior.

So when I was approached to do ILNY I had to ask myself, "Do you want to be a part of a show like this? Do you want the stigma that comes with doing a reality show, especially one known for it ghettoness?" Then I thought... why not! Why not show people that not everyone on reality Tv acts in that manner. Why not be the exception to the rule. I can do this show, and not embarrass myself, my family, friends, or co-workers. I was going to have fun and enjoy the experience, while maintaining my dignity, self worth, and integrity. And I believe that I accomplished that. I have no regrets. I appreciate those of you who enjoy and except the entertainment value of our show, and thanks for being able to see the true qualities of my being, even thru the editing magic of reality television.
You did carry yourself in a wonderful manner. And it was a pleasure to see you in your underwear...HMMPH....HMMPH....HMMPH

Playing Church: Why I got kicked off the 'I Love New York' show (part three)

It's quite interesting how many people take their "reality" television so seriously. Many people seem to lose track of the simple fact that it's just that "television." Ladies and gentlemen, this is for entertainment purposes only. Now, without sounding hypocritical... I believe that it is possible for someone to go on a show like FOL or ILNY and really be attracted to the Flavs and New Yorks and quite possibly hit it off. But that's just an added bonus to the making a hit television show. Because at the end of the day, you can still have a hit show, and leave empty handed. While, you may not be holding the hand of your lover, but one hand will have a fat check in it.

Now on the Sister Patterson. Have any of you ever wondered why we are now sanctifying Mrs. New York (aka Mrs. Michelle) by calling her "Sis Patterson?" Oh well... here was my issue. As some of you may know, I come from a long line of Baptist preachers. I grew up in my grandfather's church, which was later taken over by my father, who sits in the pulpit alongside my little brother. So let me say this, I take my church experiences very seriously. Being in church in inherently a family affair to me. I was a little concerned at first when Sis Patterson woke us up drill sergeant-style on that Sunday morning. Why was I concerned? Because I was participating in a reality Tv show. What was this church experience going to be like? Who's church were we going to? Will it be a real church? I wouldn't know until we got there. What I was most afraid of was making a mockery of the church, and I didn't want to be apart of that. Once we got there, I have to admit, I was quite shocked. It was a real service, a real congregation, choir, and preacher. We all filed in (as everyone stared at us) and sat in the front two pews. The band played, the choir marched in singing. I even knew the songs. I was elated to be there! I had almost forgotten that this was a tv show and there were cameras and production staff all around. A lovely lady came to the podium read the church announcements. We had been there for about 15 min. Then out of no where, they call "Sis Patterson" up to make a few remarks. My first thought was, "This isn't her church, why does she have to speak? Let's just go on with the service." She started out okay, but as you saw (even on the edited version) she started to erupt with an unbearable noise that was so disturbing. I look around at the congregation to see if the actual members of this church were buying this ridiculous display of overacting. Believe me, they were not impressed by Sis Patterson's divinity at that moment. Once she was done, and our ears stopped ringing. We went on with service and I left fulfilled.

Now after digesting the sermon and the whole experience, I began to rationalize some things. Although it was nice that we got to go to church, I thought about my father. I thought, if Vh1 asked him to film a dating reality show that dealt with themes such as FOL and ILNY in his church, would he allow it? The answer... Hell Naw! There's no way he would "let that mess" be filmed in his church. And that's why I felt if necessary to speak my mind about that and how I felt about Sis Patterson's "over the top" display at church that day. Now I did say "I'm not saying that she's not a good Christian." I just felt that she was fakin' it. I still feel that way. I just had be real and stay true to myself.
But I will say this, underneath it all... Michelle is a really nice woman. She's just a bad actress.
Preach brother.....preach, really this about sums it up. Keeping it real is always good. On top of ....damn this post is a whole hell of a lot longer than I intended it to be. Someone remind me to throw a tantrum and quit tomorrow.

Tango and Rico: Friends or Foes? (part four)

I was cool with both Tango and Rico in the mansion. I'm still cool with both of them today. I talk to Tango at least once, sometimes twice a week. We've established a friendship that I feel with last a long time.
Posh likes him too. Personally, I am a Tango hater.

Did they rat me out? Yes!
Shit I seen it on national TV. You ain't telling me nothing I don't know.

Are they snitches? Yes! But they did me a favor.
That's what friends do...right?

People, I was ready to leave. I wasn't feeling NY and she wasn't feeling me, more so because I wasn't all over her like everyone else. It was a competition, but I didn't want the trophy.
Damn, I thought Mr. Boston's huge lips and mouth comment was bad. But Onix man.....OUCH.

I knew that at some point I would have to pretend that I was actually attracted to her. I couldn't do it!
What was it....her make up, hair, style or personality? I am just curious.
(I am personally having Groovy envy.....at this moment.)

I was tired... and it was time to go. I knew that if I said the right thing in front of the wrong people. No, let me rephrase that. If I said the wrong thing in front of the right people, I could plot my own demise. I played them, they played me, but in the end, I came out on top. All is fair, and I don't hold any hard feelings for either one of them.
You have a wonderful point, yet again. And I am sure Tango & Rico have love for you too.

But again, let me remind you... this is television. Television is edited. You can't always believe what you see and hear. Things aren't always the way they seem.
I know who would've thought 20 guys would be fighting for New York. TV is a magical place.

I don't know about anyone else. But I am personally really loving myspace.com!!!

You have just shared a Qmoment!

Mr. Boston Charms Quanda Sort of....

How did I even get here? Thinking back it was a 'Flavor of Love' search that led me here. Now, I have an opportunity to interview Mr. Boston. I wanted this interview for reasons too long to list. Ultimately, it boiled down to the question that I have asked for 4 consecutive weeks now. Is this guy for real? Is it an act? If so, what are his career goals? This MFer is the funniest character I've seen in a long time. And I doubt seriously that Mr. Boston is little more than the reality television version of 'Borat'. I have my opinion but I am going to keep it between Groovy, Steups and I! For the record, I have no amative feelings towards this decent looking Jewish blond. This interview was done with unprepared questions. I asked him if 10:00p.m. was a good time to call and discovered his response at 9:59p.m....
( Need I type more?)

Hello may I speak with Mr. Boston?
Ah, yeah this is he.

Hi, I am Quanda from the 'Flavor of Love' Blogspot. How are you tonight?
Ah, I am ah...like great. Ah thanks for calling Quanda. Ah-um how are you?

Actually thank you, I am good now that I have this interview. I have to tell you that I have nothing but love for you. You keep me laughing. Where were you born and raised?
Um...ah...Boston, MA....ah...like outside of um...Boston, you know ah...like...um upper middle class. Ah...like I am in the Orange County area now.

So how are you liking California?
Well like um...I like it. The climate is like a lot warmer yeah...um the climate is good. The girls um...ah...are hotter yeah...hotter chicks.

Now, wait a minute one of my best friends is from Boston. She's a pretty hot chick.
Well ah...you...like...um... well Boston has a some hot chicks. Um..here I mean like the um...quality and quantity you know what I mean. Um..like...hot chicks are everywhere here.
(We are everywhere...lmao)

Did you know I was a hot chick?
Um...no are you?

Yes.
How old are you?

Oh, I am an old gal. I am 38.
Oh, um...like that's not um...ah too bad. I've um...ah have you know dating some older chicks.

No, I didn't. So what's the oldest you've dated?
I dated um...like this 34 year old chick.
( WTF....did she walk with a cane and collect social security.)

How was it?
Um it was pretty good yeah know. I am um...ah trying to expand my repertoire. Um older chicks...um...like yeah know are like really horny...um...hot...yeah you know more experienced. You know ...ah no inhibitions. They'll do anything. Ah...like young chicks don't know what to ah...like do. You know what I am like saying?
( Yes and no....)

Yes I do. I know what you are saying. You are killing me here. I can't stop laughing. I apologize. Have you always been such a 'Ladie's Man'?
No, ah...um I was always shy in high school and college. I couldn't get laid ah if my life depended on it. After college I discovered the 'Boston charm'. I am now confident at all times...ah you know nice and normal.
( Hugh Hefner lock up all your 'playmates', your reign is about to end.)

Nice and normal, I gotcha. I first fell in love with you, when you interrupted the Chance and New York conversation on the first night. What were you thinking when you approached the table? And you stood up to Chance, I totally respect that. What was that all about?
( Before I get accused of excessive jungle fever, I fell in love with his antics, not him the man...Thank You!)
Ah...well...you...see...um...like basically, ah Chance was the first guy to make ah his like move on her and ...ah get some alone time. You have 20 guys and ah five are going home. Ah I felt like ah a token white guy. I knew I needed to stand out ah...um if I was g-g-going to stay. You know you had ah T-Money a total douche bag in a green jacket. The green jacket is supposed to ah remind her (New York) of like money. So I told myself I had to do something. I mean this thug wannabee is getting her attention first. He was the ugliest in the house. I said to myself 'Stud you have to steal her away from that ugliness.' When he started yelling at me ...yeah know...ah I was like surprised. But you know I am a man and wasn't going to back down. I have balls and I wasn't going to be your typical white boy pussy.

Who were the nicest guys in the house?
Tango and Onix were the nicest. They are good guys. Then I would say Rico...ah Heat and 12 Pack. Chance and Token....douche bags. Whiteboy wasn't my friend either. The guy is not nice at all. I ah...um wasn't impressed. Token kept imitating me, ah trying to make me look bad in front the black guys. Off camera the douche bag told the producers he was doing it for camera time. They edited it all out. So a lot of good that did him.
( Earlier I wrote it was Whiteboy who imitated Mr. Boston. Well, Mr. Boston called me to tell me that we got our lines crossed. It was Token who imitated him and told the producers....blah, blah, blah. Thank you, I knew that didn't sound like something my 'Swagger Man' would do.)

....Ah Mr. Boston, I have to be honest with you Whiteboy is my favorite. He gave me my first interview and has showed me only love. He seems really nice to me. You are hurting me here.
Well ...ah sorry Quanda. If you met him in person ah...um...you'd see that he is not the nice guy you think he is. You would like be very disappointed.
(The Whiteboy hateration needs to stop people!!!)

Okay...moving on which contestants do you feel were really there for New York?
*laughing Romance and Rico, they were both nice guys. The rest of the 18 were here for our own reasons. We didn't want to be with New York. For me, a lot of my buddies ah...like tell me all of the time I should like be on ah like reality show. They think I am really funny. So I was there to entertain the public.

So what was in like kissing New York?
Ah...*laughs Quanda you know how it looked awkward on television? Well it was ah like even more awkward in person. It was my first time making out with a black chick. She has huge lips and mouth. Ah...so when I was kissing her it felt like my lips were in her mouth. It was really weird. And ah I get a lot of like e-mails from like fans and the um....ah....like think when I kiss her stomach that I am going down on her...you know what I mean?

Yes, I know what you mean. You weren't going down her....right? You were just kissing her body right?
Right.

What's your take on Chamo?
I like Chamo. And Chamo liked me...which was ah good because you know he'd pass on a good report..for me. It was important for him to like me. I mean you don't want him to not like you. He's pretty fruity. He's really gay. You know he's like the quintessential gay guy from West Hollywood.
( Is that anything like the quintessential black man being a thieving, crack addicted, homicidal, baby making all around deadbeat dad? If so.......NO.)

You plan on settling down anytime soon?
Well..ah...you know.......
( I am an evil b@#$% sometimes...let's keep VH-1 guessing on that response.)

You know we do a lot of snooping and research on you guys before the show even airs. We can find some dirt on the 'I Love New York' cast but we choose to remain silent on a lot. Like one contestant we know he had a girlfriend during the airing of the show.
Who?

I tell him.
Yeah, ah...he actually called her from the house. Did you find out anything about me?

If we did I wouldn't tell you. ( uncomfortable silence) Naw, we didn't find out anything. What are some of your career goals?
Ah...definitely my own spin off show.

I could see it 'Lovin' Mr. Boston's Charm'. Where 20 hot chicks are fighting for your attention.
Yeah...yeah ..ah something along those lines. Yeah...definitely.

What about stand up? I heard you do stand up comedy.
Well ah I did a couple of years back. Ah...I am not talented in that area.

I am shocked.
Well ....ah....maybe if I worked at it and you know practiced...I could get good. But I am in a lazy mode right now.

I see. Do you have any pets?
I had two cats. I am more of a cat person.
( I personally could be a professional cat kicker.)

What happen to the cats?
Oh they are in Boston with my parents.
(Guess I won't be kicking those two.)

Oh, you should get one out here in Cali.
Well...ah...maybe in a year...yeah know w-w-we'll see. I am kind of on the lazy side...right now.

Before I let you go... how do I sound on the phone?
Ah...um good.

Good as in?
Professional.

Professional? I don't sound sexy?
Well...um...I'd say professional.

Next day, after I've seen 'I Love New York' Episode 4....I decided to call him back.
( He is not the only one with balls.)

Hello.
Hello this is Quanda, Mr. Boston. I want to ask you a couple of more questions as I type up this interview.

Sure.
You good, it's okay?

Yeah I am fine.

What's your take on the snitching situation?
It's a competition....all is fair game.

Okay did you miss your roommate?
Huh?
( Oh he is definitely straight, who could forget Onix? Except a straight male.)

Wasn't Onix your roommate? Did you miss him?
Ummm...a little bit...but you know you're happy that you are still around. I mean it's better him to go...instead of me.

I understand Onix was some stiff competition.
Well actually...ah...um he didn't have much of a personality. I don't think that there was much of a connection. He didn't go out of his way to grab her attention or anything.
( He even downplays Onix....unbelieveable.....LMAO.)

From the previews, it appears you've never played basketball. When is the last time you played?
Um.....6 or 7 years.
( And may I add, that was most likely his first and last time...until the 'I Love New York' Episode 5. Did you all notice Whiteboy taking it to the hoop?)

Alright, I appreciate the interview and thanks for answering my extra questions. I 'll message you when the interview is posted. Thanks again.
Alright Quanda, no problem....take care.

Note: I was laughing from beginnig to end on this one. Mr. Boston is just one funny stud muffin

You have just shared a Qmoment! MUAH XOXOXOXOXO

You have to understand this; people don't appreciate your disrespecting their mother. If you told Bobbi Christina her mother was on crack she'd punch you in the mouth. And we know damn well Whitney was on that ish

Disrespecting someone's mother is a no-no; but that doesn't mean snitching among men is a yes-yes...but let's see how Episode 4 played out

The episode began very early in the morning ...
(in the show, fool. It aired at 9 Eastern as always)

Unlike last week, Chamo reverted to type and wore an outrageous outfit to present this week's challenge. Today he opted for a white wife-beater and a Sunbird-yellow hard-hat.
(hold on for a second...I have to see Selena climb that pole on White Rapper)

Yeah, so Chamo did old-school gay couture tonight, and went way back to the days of the Village People to construct that ensemble. He looked good though; but enough of that...

The guys were separated into three teams with a set task to erect a kennel for New York's dog, Majesty. The teams were separated by color (why? I don't know) and immediately White Boy began bitching because Tango was in his unit.
"I don't hang with Tango; Tango, he just whack"
(whack? Did a grown man just say Tango was whack?)

For the record the teams were :
Grey Team - Tango, Onix and White Boy
Black Team - Rico, Chance and Mr. Boston
White Team -12 Pack, Real and Heat

So the guys set about the task and 12 Pack is spitting the lines. Letting us know that this isn't his normal style but he's "still one hell of a sexy foreman".
Heat described his foreman and himself as 'Batman and Robin' but 12 Pack thought that an overestimation, and of Heat, he said "he is my mini-me. I got all the good genes; he got stuck with the rest".

The Black team were not clicking and it didn't help that Mr. Boston was making no contribution at all.
The White Team seemed to know what they were doing although 12 Pack was bragging so much it was difficult to believe they would do anything but fail.

So the cameras switch to White Boy using a jig-saw an suddenly Tango steps away
(I'm thinking White Boy cut the dude and is about to receive that overdue ass whupping)

White Boy thought he was hurt too but it turns out Tango had a splinter in his hand
(Oh hell naw!)
(Maybe it was a Splintersauras Rex or something)
Of course White Boy had to talk about it because you know that playette is on Tango, hard.
White Boy said Tango "...is just a fake busta. Straight up"
(Dude has a point. Orthopaedic surgery for a splinter isn't a good look)

Anyways, Tango was de-splintered and soon Chamo was running out of the house to let the "muchachos" know "a hora de parar" (time to stop in broken Spanish)

New York and majesty (the dog) reappeared to choose the winner and rejected the Black Team's offering. They were pleased with the Grey Team's effort (who modeled it's kennel on the Parthenon temple) but adjudged the White Team's dog-house as the winner.
(I thought otherwise, and I should know; because I have been 'in the doghouse' many times before)

The winners shared an evening dinner with New York. But separately.
Real had cocktails with New York on the verandah and I won't lie; Real looked proper. New York couldn't stop herself from playing with his hair and they looked like a genuine couple together.

As do Chance and White Boy; as the scene shifted to the kitchen to show the fake thug cutting White Boy's hair. (I think that was existentialism or something; the way they moved from Real's curtain of hair to White Boy's trim.)
So we return to New York and Real kissing, but the time was up for cocktails.
Next up was dinner with Heat.

Heat is just a f*cking bore. I can't say it any better than that.
Heat came to dinner with a crucifix choker on his neck, wtf?
Now I am no Andre Leon Talley; but I know the differences between style, fashion and foolishness. And a man with a choker crucifix isn't stylish or fashionable.
(At this point I am thinking this is the worst Episode yet)

He and New York engaged in some unnecessary repartee before the scene shifted to the guys surrounding Mr Boston to shave him. They were unsuccessful as far as I could tell and Tango just sat there, watching them, acting all mature and shit.
Chance later explained the reason for the Mr. Boston attack, tracing it back to the challenge and in his best Tony Montana accent (which is the worst Tony Montana accent I've ever heard) he says "you made us lose you die!"

(can this Episode get any worse?)

Thankfully the date with Heat ended and it was dessert time with New York and 12 Pack. They went upstairs to New York's bedroom because 12 Pack said they "were feeling it hardcore."
I was shocked New York chose 12 Pack for the bedroom encounter but I was even more shocked to see a woman waiting there for them.
(An inter-racial threesome? That's my shit right there.)

Wasn't to be though, the lady (Taia Aaliyah) was a Tantra teacher brought there, as 12 Pack said, to teach them "moves he pretty much knew already."
They both changed. New York wore a white bikini (that's more like it) and 12 Pack, a leopard print Speedo. He was quick to point out that there was a "no better guy than himself to wear a leopard Speedo"

Taia had them connecting physically and mentally but New York was concerned she wanted "to take 12 Pack and herself; sexually" and got rid of her rather quickly.
That meant 12 Pack and New York were finally alone but as it is with every horny man, 12 Pack needed a bathroom break...
(it happens to me all the time; urine build-up and horniness have this weird symbiotic existence)

12 Pack used the break (after washing his hands I trust) to grab a few drinks and moreso, to show-off his Speedo to the other contestants. They were not all that surprised (it's 12 Pack after all) but Real and Heat were upset by the length of time New York was devoting to 12 Pack
Upstairs 12 Pack lay prostrate over New York and rubbing on her hard, much to her delight and my dismay.
The dude was in Heat (which isn't as weird as it sounds as you will soon find out).

Downstairs and outside, Real and Heat could restrain themselves no longer and needed a better view. Thanks to a ladder (that just happened to be there) Real climbed to the second-floor balcony and said he "felt like King Kong coming to save his woman"
(somewhere in Mississippi a white man enjoyed that; I didn't)

Having done the hard work Real messed up and was spotted by New York (as she came up for breath under 12 Pack's body)
They both walked outside and found Real under the table; but it all blew over thanks to Heat who told her they were upset by the amount of time given to 12 Pack.
(now I know what to say when my lover and her husband catches me peeping through their bedroom window)
The date ended soon after and 12 Pack and Heat resumed their drinking. It wasn't long before they were both drunk out of their minds as the clock showed 4:18 am (remember that time)
Thereafter, we saw12 Pack dancing a robot striptease in his Speedos and listening to an inebriated Heat's confession that "he (12 Pack) has the best body in the frickin' place".
Somewhere between 4 and 5 am Heat and 12 Pack retired to bed; but not for long.

Pt2

Just over an hour later, at 6am, Sister Patterson invaded the mansion to inform the contestants they had 30 minutes to be downstairs and ready to attend Church.
Heat and 12 Pack did not have enough sleep to be stale-drunk so it was probably best that way; although they must have had the mother of all headaches.

Nonetheless, it's guys we are talking about so they were dressed and ready in time; well not all of them.
Chamo looked freaking terrific in what looked like a Musk-colored jacket with a Turkish Brown shirt and Real looked fresh in his suit. But Chance and White Boy didn't come close to the expected attire.
There was an exchange between Chance and Sister Patterson over his head-wear but she decided not to pursue it and left him to the Lord.

So they were off, but Mr. Boston was invited to travel with New York and her mother in the limousine. There was another of these now boring conversations with Mr. Boston about race and black babies and white babies and mixed babies.
And in the end Mr. Boston described Sister Patterson as looking like Darth Vader "with her dark black skin and large forehead"
(I thought that was disgusting to be honest; but I am not here to editorialize)


The contestants and New York and her mother arrive at the Church, but Chance refuses to enter because he is not taking his hat off for nobody (necessary double negative)
Mr. Boston is up to his usual antics in the Church; Heat can't keep awake for more than 5 seconds, Tango is trying hard to seem spiritual; White Boy is trying to look like Sean Paul and Onix is smiling.
Smiling?

Onix is smiling at Sister Patterson as she takes to the pulpit to testify...
"Truly it is an anointed day"
"The Lord knows why he got me here today"
Etcetera, etcetera.
Then she screams vocals into the microphone, "Praissssssse Him, Praissssssssse Him", that gave Chance the chills and coerced him inside (hat off if you please).

Sister P seemed pleased to see the prodigal thug worshiping.
Back at the mansion (after the church service) a few of the guys were lounging at the pool and Onix decides to talk, and talk, and talk, and talk....
For some inexplicable reason he says "Sister Patterson was faking in Church today" and "I thought it was a lil over the top"
(awwww shit, Onix. Pack your bags, son)

That was all Tango needed to plot his (Onix') demise. The Tan(ty) Man and Rico-puta decide to snitch to New York and her mother. And that's what it was; two big-ass men telling on another man
(Unprofessional)

To be fair, Tango intimated he did it because it is a competition (something New York's mother said as well after the elimination ceremony) and he seized the opportunity to have a strong contestant eliminated.
I can live with that, but he and Rico still did wrong by Onix.


Elimination Ceremony:
All that was left is who would join Onix out of the mansion and in order chains were given to
1) Chance (why for God's sake? Why?)
2) 12 Pack (when New york said "you wear this for me honey" it seemed awfully sincere)
3) Real
4) White Boy
5) Tango (snitch)
6) Rico (snitchos)

And then came decision time; 1 chain for three guys...
New York stared and said I have 1 chain but "it's definitely not for you Onix; and you wanna know why?"
"You have the nerve to disrespect my mother's faith?"
"If you disrespect her, you disrespect me"
"I think you need to raise right on up outta here"
"You damn sure aint better than New York"
(that's not verbatim, but you can pretend it was)

New York then spoke to Heat and said...
"Right now, I think it's time for you to go on home to YaYa. And tell her New York says 'what's up?'"
(best moment of the night, lmao)

That meant
7) Mr. Boston

We now have two weeks to wait for Episode 5 which gives me time to persuade Quanda to return (yeah, I lost another one to DiTech)
Thanks for reading.
Laterz.

It's Monday, except in Australia and New Zealand; and that means tonight is Episode 4 of I Love New York. Hopefully New York kicks White Boy's ass off the show.
But if it doesn't happen, I am prepared; I bought my red towel this morning, lmao.
Because you know that's how real men do it.

All I need are my toy guns from Toys 'R" Us and I'll have Jane obssessing over my ass too.
(re-reading this I think I may have internal issues, lmao)

And if anyone is upset by that, then (clears my throat three times) "step outside the blog and I'll beat yo ass"
Grunt....grunt, grunt. (tucks in shirt and cleans cheap shades)


You know, I forgot why I started this post....Oh! The picture of New York and her father. Her brother too.

I got it from New York's brother's blog.
He is a really nice dude, and always willing to be civil. But don't go bombarding him with questions because he is really averse to publicity.

Finally, here is Toasteee's audition tape . It's uhhhh; what's the word for it? Tasteless!




Credit: Angel (is she in the faculty?)