Don't know what's happening on The Elle Word today and even if I did I am not supposed to talk about it.
But, if today is Part 2 of the impersonations contest, this video will help anyone who wants to "do" New York.

This was shot soon after production wrapped on "I Love New York"

Ivory Sprinkles

Good morning, and welcome to the debut of my news column. Some of you may remember some months back; I would do something I called "Ivory's News of The Day" in the comment box. With the blog expanding and getting bigger and better everyday, we wanted to offer more to you. It is very easy to pick up a newspaper or turn on the television to get your news, which is why I won't be reporting that kind; the regular fare. Instead, here you will find the strangest, oddest news that you just won't find in the New York Times or on your local television news station. I want to thank Quanda for thinking of re-introducing the news and for thinking of the name as well; thanks to Steups as well for the opportunity; and to Shawn - the gossip maven and queen of the podcasts.

My girlfriend, the dead deer
What is wrong with people these days?! Lots of things, apparently. Now I myself am an animal lover, I don't really eat meat and would never wear real fur. But there are animal lovers like me, and then there are animal lovers in a very different, very disturbing way. In Superior, Wisconsin, 20 year old Bryan James Hathaway just pleaded no contest to (those who are squeamish may not want to read any further!) having sexual contact with a dead deer. He received probation and his sentence requires that he be evaluated as a sex offender as well as being treated at the Institute for Psychological and Sexual Health in Duluth, Minnesota. The assistant district attorney, Jim Boughner, said, "The state believes that particular place is the best for the individual." (I can think of a few places that are more appropriate to place him...) But that's not all! This deer was not his first victim. He was found guilty in April 2005 of felony mistreatment of an animal after killing a horse with the intention of having sex with it. For that he was sentenced to 18 months in jail and a 2 year supervision, in addition to an additional 6 years of probation for taking and driving a vehicle without the consent of the owner. (Busy guy, isn't he?) He will also receive a 9 month jail sentence for violating his extended supervision from the horse incident. "The type of behavior is disturbing. It is disturbing to the public. It is disturbing to the court", said Judge Michael Lucci. (What about the animals? I'd say it was most disturbing for them! Wow, what a sicko.)

Me, my girlfriend, our two kids and our 26 animals

In Santa Cruz, California, 26 animals were confiscated from a motel room. The motel room of a couple, whose names are not yet released, and their two children, filled with the animals and apparently quite a bit of junk, was discovered by motel staff after they realized they had not heard from the couple in over a month. There they found 20 domesticated birds, a cat, a rabbit, a (cringe) dead bird in a cage and (cringe again) three more birds stuffed in the freezer. The couple who have not yet been cited or arrested, could face misdemeanor animal neglect charges. "In this particular case, they also collected junk in addition to the animals", said Todd Stosuy, animal control manager for the Santa Cruz County Animal Services Authority.
(I'm really curious about what he meant by "junk.")

Video of Tiffany New York Pollard from King Magazine photo-shoot

Miss New York cusses out KING Magazine but plays nice in the end. Behind the scenes footage of New York’s May 07 photo-shoot.
Click here for video of New York behind the scenes at KING Magazine


Well, that is it for today. I will be back Monday morning for another news fix. I hope you find the column to be entertaining and informative and I look forward to giving you lots of weird stuff to ponder. Wishing you all a wonderful day!

48 hours was more than enough to air all our drama and grievances but it really is time to get back to the reason why we congregate here; to chat and enjoy each other's e-company.
I may have had an answer to every accusation but I must have done something to distress the four or five people who went off on me. For that, I apologize.
And I am now extending invitations to every one of you to return to the roles you once had.
If Groovy wants to write for the blog again; she is welcome.
If Quanda wants to do likewise; that's fine with me.

My head is too saturated with normalization and relational databases and all the other shit I am supposed to be learning to be bothered with internet kung fu.
So, let's watch some video shall we...

I used my invisibility cloak to hide these I Love New York snippets when the Viacom guys stormed YouTube to have them removed.

The first video shows Tango and Rico torn between friendship and wanting to boot out a rival doing the right thing by New York.

Next we have the consequences of their decision as Onix (thanks for commenting) is eliminated but not without a parting shot at New York




And finally, we have New York eating 600lbs of lobster meat




Obviously they will remove these videos in the next few hours so watch them while you can. I'll be back with news of Charm School and the final list of contestants.

If you've been unable to access YouTube uploads of I love New York...blame Viacom.
The media conglomerate decided enough was enough and have taken legal action asked kindly for their copyright to be observed.

Mz Dynamite better not investigate this report if she knows what's good for her, because my source is unimpeachable; believe that.

Credit: An employee of Viacom

The podcast shows more of the Pootie nervous breakdown and keep your eyes and ears open for Dr McWhite Boy showing his caring side and New York clowning the poor sod.

Credit: Mz Whathername

I Love New York video of New York licking salad dressing off the fingers of Real and Chance.
Also look for New York grinding on the Stallionaires and snoggin' with Heat.
New York is sexy as hell; they should be showing this shit on Cinemax.

I'll be back with more I Love New York video. Get at them early before the VH1 gestapo shuts them down.

Credit:Mz Whathername.