Meet The Parents: I Love New York Episode 9 recap

Aye, this Episode 9 flew by; let's hope the recap does as well.
Four guys left and they all look rather nervous. 'Punk' laments 'Mr Wise's' elimination but is optimistic no one will ever feel that way about him. He is now the bookmaker's favorite to win it all; doing just enough to be interesting and not too much to annoy 'New York'.
'Buddha', the second favorite, thinks he and 'New York' know each other very well so it's now time to enjoy each other. (this is one corny-ass brotha, let me tell ya)

It's note-time though, courtesy 'Big Ant', and 'The Entertainer' reads and reveals the parents are on the way and they have to clean house.
This they do, with 'Tailor Made' assigned the toilets. It would have been too cruel to have him clean the kitchen with his suffering from PTSD (Post Traumatic Slap Disorder)

The first to arrive are 'The Entertainer's' (Frank's) parents, and they seem nice enough, especially mom who is eager to 'meet my future daughter-in-law'. She has the thickest New York accent ever and describes New York as "pretty"
'Tailor Made's' father is next to arrive and describes his son as a "role model" (fuck outta here with that)...obviously 'Tailor Made' told him what to say, because he seems able to contact anyone he wants -the ex-wife, the florists, the lingerie shop.

Punk's mother and sister (why?) show up and make it obvious they aren't pleased the Harvard man is looking for love on television. On meeting them 'New York' notes, "Punk got all of the looks in that family, he skipped the gene that would have rendered him otherwise" (hahahaha, I think that comment rules out Punk as the winner)

At last, 'Buddha's' dad arrives and he greets him as 'Big Mike' (a bit odd, I thought). New York thinks he looks hot.
Within a minute, we learn why Buddha is such an arrogant ignoramus, as his dad assaults New York with , "being the beautiful black woman that you are, why do you smoke so much?" (he must be a fan of the show?). And warns her it will ruin her beauty.
New York is taken aback, coming from someone who 'could be over 90 and wears diapers'
With everyone settled in, New York goes about meeting the parents.

Sitting with 'Punk' and his family, New York asks mom, "how would you feel about Punk and I together?"
"It would take getting used to", she replied, then buries her head in her hands. (is it that serious?)
Punk's sister -who is the spitting image of her mom- looks on as if to say, 'bitch please'.
Later she (New York) admits to 'Punk' that his family doesn't approve and asks what are they gonna do about it. (hmmmn, it's not like New York to care that much)
She then announces -after the parents have joined her and the contestants- that she will take to dinner, 'The Entertainer', 'Punk', and their respective family members. Silently, 'The Entertainer' worries about sharing a table with his mother and 'Sister Patterson'. (he ain't never lied)

Dinner Date with Punk and The Entertainer
At the restaurant (a cheap-looking one, I might add) the two sets of families arrive to see New York and 'Sister Patterson' already seated. The dynamic duo never stand to accept greetings from the parents, and the rudeness worsens when The Entertainer's mom asks, "what do you think of my son?"
With 'The Entertainer' absenting himself for a bathroom break, 'Sister Patterson' replies, "I hope you take him home tonight".
"I am not gonna take him home because he likes your daughter" (but you gotta hearya say 'daughta' for yourself)

With that the dinner escalates into the 'War in Iraq'...first 'Sister Patterson' accuses Frank's mom of putting her greasy hand in her face (which you probably know is a well-known insult to Italians). But Frank's mom isn't backing down and New York is forced to intervene and let's her know, "you have to have respect for my mom"
Which is a bit of a joke, really, because 'Sister P' has no respect for anyone.

Unbelievably, 'Sister Patterson' yields and walks out, with New York in tow, saying she's not 'wasting time' with The Entertainer's parents, as they leave, Frank's mom yells, "mother and daughter, low-class trash" (hahahaha, the woman has balls)
'Punk' and his family look on in dismay and Frank's dad has a look as if he's seen this happen many times before (lmao)
I will not sit next to her (pronounced her-ah), Frank's mom orders.

Having returned to the aftermath, 'The Entertainer' follows New York and her mom downstairs and tries to make peace, but is told off by 'Sister Patterson', "you need to talk to your mother; so why are you in my face when I'm tryna have one-on-one time with my daughter"
As he departs, 'The Entertainer' characterizes New York as Sister Patterson's pet!
Upstairs, Frank's mom says, "I don't think I am getting an apology from her (New York) or that transvestite" (lmmfao)

Surprisingly, they return to the table and Frank's dad offers a toast to 'good health'. And then it starts again...
Sister P: excuse me sir, what is your name?
TE's Dad: Gary
Sister P: I am Michelle
(wtf? she is flirting with Frank's dad! Lmao)

'Sister P' calls Frank's Dad a "knock-out", and adds to the uncomfortable nature by asking, "doesn't your wife tell you how gorgeous you are?" (and lemme tell ya, the woman looks sexy when she flirts)
But she ain't slick and Frank's mom gets on her again and soon they going back and forth. "You have too much testosterone", Frank's mom accuses.
"I do; and I look better than you", Sister P states matter-of-factly.

I can't remember much of the repartee, but I do recall, Frank's mom saying, "I'd rather wear his jock-strap than that wig on your head" (bumboclaaaattttt, lol)
Sister Patterson walks away for a second time, but not before she said, "shut-up, you fat-ass bitch"
The battle was a tie, probably, but Frank's mom won the tie-breaker for staying put.
As the dust clears, 'The Entertainer' is the real loser of the battle as 'Punk' accurately points out.


Family Day with the Buddha's and the Tailor Made's
A new day, a new beginning; but Punk's mother can't forget yesterday and describes the dinner to Tailor Made's dad. She objectively, appreciates both sides, New York defending her mother, and a mother defending her son. But is opposed to the swearing, "those words are not acceptable in our family" (not even during sex?)

Buddha is just happy to not be part of the drama for a change (stop the lying, you know your ass is a drama-queen) and is there to witness New York and Susan (The Entertainer's mom) exchange false pleasantries in the kitchen.
Susan is still angry, and suggests New York has no respect for older people and "wasn't raised right by her mom" (ain't you the one with a 30yr old son in the basement? Fuck outta here)
She ends the confession by saying she no longer wants New York for a daughter-in-law (as if you ever?)

But it's about 'Buddha' and 'Tailor Made' today; and their date is poolside in the back-yard (which suggests they were never going home this week)
'Tailor Made' fusses over his dad's choice of outfit, noting, he and pops are never gonna compete with 'Buddha' and Big Mike in a bath-suit (I hope for Christ's sake, Buddha isn't calling his dad 'Big' because he is....that would take their arrogance to the sickest degree)

The family's gather outside and do not wait long for New York and her mother. New York's breasts look great in her bikini top, whilst Sister P looks sexier than ever in a sarong-thingy (I keep tellin' y'all, the woman is the hotness)
Tailor Made's father asks if Sister P is New York's sister, the oldest line in the book, that...
But it seems to work on Sister P, and she immediately warms to him.
Completely disregarding yesterday's event, New York opts to play volleyball with the sons and leaves the Dads to her Mom, for questioning.

The Dad's look nervous, and Sister P wastes no time in spilling the beans on 'Buddha'. But spills a little too much, turning to Big Mike to say, "your son beat the crap out of his son"
There was "blood everywhere", she exaggerates.
Big Mike is skeptical, saying he'd rather hear it from 'Tailor Made' (witness intimidation?). Sister Patterson isn't impressed with his level-headedness and offers an alternative view, "when Buddha's father opens his mouth to speak, it's nothing but hot gas"

Sister P's 'hyperbole (Tailor Made's word) eventually gets to an eavesdropping Buddha (messy boy ain't he?) and he confronts her. They exchange words and he says "you have no good in ya"
He storms off (what's new?), followed by New York.
He admonishes her, stating "you deny me when we are around other people" (deny me? This muffucka thinks he is Christ, or some shit)
The second parent's date ends.

New York cooks
Back in the mansion, New York announces, "I'm gonna make dinner for everyone, tonight", to dispel the belief she's only, "hair, makeup, nails and tight-clothing". (don't forget 'chunking')
As she departs to the kitchen, everyone else has their own issues to sort out....
'The Entertainer' and his Dad convince Susan to keep her mouth shut, while 'Buddha' and Big Mike wax philosophical about New York and her mother, using a mirror as a metaphor (they would wouldn't they? Oh the vanity!)

'Punk' takes the time to do damage control with his family and asks mom to be Frank (haha, I couldn't resist). "What do you think of New York?", he asks.
"I think she is wild and aggressive. I don't deal with people like that"

In the kitchen, New York is a bit overwhelmed. She drops a chicken-wing, retrieves it and dumps it in the pot. (y'all better not pretend, because everyone has done that. it's gonna boil anyway)
A thoughtful Frank enters the kitchen, offers to help, and is rewarded with a makeout session on the kitchen counter.
Right on cue, 'Buddha' stops by, observes what's up and walks away; sulking.
He walks outside, for fresh air apparently (for attention, actually)...with New York in cold pursuit.
Outside, 'Buddha' does his best impression of the 'Whiteboy' towel scene. But on this occasion, New York is confrontational.
She states the obvious, that "Buddha is fucking up", but he sees the situation as her mother being afraid he's gonna rescue New York from her victimisation (is this boy for real?)

It's been a "disastrous day", New York confesses, but the dinner-table is surprisingly quiet, until 'The Entertainer' says it's surprisingly quiet. 'Buddha' and Big Mike are brooding, which prompts New York to opine, "only an arrogant asshole would enjoy another arrogant asshole"
Tailor Made's publicist Dad says his son is truly in love.

To keep things moving, New York asks Susan about her living arrangements with Frank and she admits she pretty much does everything for him. He chips in however with walking the dog, taking out the trash and mowing the lawn. 'Tailor Made' describes him as a "loser" (laundry is women's work, anyway, so I don't get what the fuss is about)

That's that, though, the end of whatever they were eating. It's time for elimination. As New York and her mother exit, only 'Punk' has the manners to arise from his seat. (obviously, that is a dude with a good mother)

Eliminations
Everyone is nervous, save for 'Tailor Made' who sailed through this episode. 'The Entertainer' says he feels great, and his Dad says if he's eliminated he'll just return to the basement,but laments, "when I said 'til death do us part', I didn't say it to him" (lmfao)

The first chain is awarded to 'Tailor Made', understandably. "Do you have love for New York?", she inquires.
"So much", Tailor Made responds.
'Punk' is next, no surprise there...even his sister looks a bit pleased. New York says she has butterflies and goosebumps for the Harvard man.

And so it's down to the Final two, 'Buddha' and 'The Entertainer'.
Turning to 'Buddha', New York says, "your father doesn't like me, and at times I don't know if you like me"
But, in the end, it's 'The Entertainer' who is eliminated, because, "I need a man who can support me and check me. With all due respect to you and your parents, you are a loser!"
(da hell? lmfao)

We are not treated to the response of Frank's parents, but I am certain it was explosive and it'll soon be uploaded on VH-1.
The remaining three guys celebrate with champagne, but are warned to not drink too much because they are off to South Beach, Miami.

So that's that, next week will be a banger and we will give you a spoiler on Friday, hopefully.
Thanks for reading, and thanks to Groovy for writing last week's recap.
Cheers.

Pictures courtesy VH1