Episode 8 is coming

Things are Getting Hot in High Desert

"Hear yee ...hear yee, all Knuts of the Round Table quiet down! The VH-1 Gods have given us the gift of foresight!" *whispers "Also known as Vspot"

"Revenge, Lareigna, Meale and Lady Ty guard the doors. Dana and Electra take your rightful places beside King Steups. Shawn and my humble *coughs humble paige 'The Original Mr. New York' let the Vspot begin! All other Knuts drank and be merry in complete silence ...these recaps aren't easy for this old Knut."

' I Love New York' Episode 8 begins with Chance brushing his teeth and Whiteboy dusting off his shoulder in one of the bedrooms. Camera shot slides to the handsome Real washing his face at the sink. Seconds laters a thick Tango in red undies enters the bathroom. Switching to the confessional we see New York. She tell us, " After last night's elimination I've only got 4 guys left Whiteboy, Tango, Chance and Real. And I really need to start to shake things up." ( I am thinking her verbal assault on Tango stirred plenty up. Hey but that's just me ...what do I really know?)

Chamo enters the room in this pink polo, white slacks and pageboy cap looking maroon on my screen. ( Why maroon? Were there no white on pink caps available? ) He tells the final four to "Have fun!" as he delivers two pair of golf shoes and a note on a silver platter. Back to the Manfessional, we view Real telling us he is hoping they are not going to play golf. Whiteboy showing initiative grabs the note and reads it to Tango, Real and Chance. " Good morning fellas, the best way to get to know someone is to travel with them. So pack your bags we are headed to the desert for a romantic getaway. Tango and Real get changed and I'll see you two at tea time. Chance and Whiteboy be patient. I got something special planned for you two. XOXO New York." Back to the Manfessional Real tells us, he's excited to get out of the house with New York. He isn't trying to kick it with Tango and New York. He just wants to be with her. But he is going to make the best of it. We then see Tango and Real getting ready. Real mentions "Looking like Tiger Woods in this b@tch." Now Tango is in the Manfessional. He states,
" If I got to share a date with New York, I'm happy it's going to be with Real. I'm gonna lay back and I'm gonna systematically tear this man apart." ( I am man hear me roar. LOL.) They leave the 'I Love New York' mansion.

Tango and Real are in a limousine on their way to Palm Springs. An interesting conversation takes place between the two of them. Real says, " I can't wait to see this girl. I might just bleep on myself looking at her.

" That's disgusting ...freakin dis" replies Tango.

" I can't help it man. I walk around stiff. Yah know what I mean? And I ain't talking about my back."

Tango laughs. Back to the Manfessional he says, " I don't think Real is even close to being right for New York. A he's cheesy. B he's immature. And let's be honest, he's not hanging with me at all."

Back to the limousine ride. Real continues, " She's probably going to have some little shorts on. And if I got daisies on, ...she going to have some coochie cutters on." ( Who is this man?!)

They pull up to a golf resort. New York is outside waiting and looking lovely in her golf ensemble. In the confessional she tells us how hot and amazing she looks. She greets the men and twirls for them. Real races to her to get the first kiss. They drive off in a Cadillac golf cart. Real and New York co-drive and they crash. As they sit confused, the sprinklers come on. And they all get wet. ( Poor Tango!) As they finally make it to the 16th hole ...they crash into another golf cart. ( I want to type something so very bad but the NAACP might come after me.) The golf pro Stephen greets them. Their golf lessons begin. The guys insult each other and end up having a little competition for a New York kiss. Cub Woods ( Real) wins and proceeds to make out with New York in front of Tango. Tango states watching them kiss makes him ill. ( I second that!)

Back at the mansion Chance and Whiteboy are in the backyard. They are searching for snake holes. They have a conversation about what the other 3 could be doing. Whiteboy concludes it's something romantic based on the note. In the Manfessional he says he believes she's saving the best for last. ( Yes baby she is ...God I hope you don't touch her this episode!)

At 'The Horizon Hotel', Tango and Real are impressed with their accommodations and gifts. Their gifts seem to be silk robes, engraved lighters and cigars. D@mn New York *coughs VH-1 has some class. We see them at dinner and Tango tightens up his game. The last little tidbit we see is a glimpse of the Chance and Whiteboy date. New York is in a hot air balloon. She is worried about her synthetic hair going up in a blaze. ( Let's pray she didn't use any hairspray.)

Please participate in the comment box: Is New York's golf outfit 'Hoochie'? Yes or No.

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