A Recap Affair

Mr. Boston Humbles Q

As some of you may know, I had the pleasure of interviewing Mr. Boston. It was quite a humbling experience. And I must add if laughter is food for the soul, my soul is obese. Every time I talk to this cat (I've been T-Boneized), my stomach hurts and tears are running down my face. There are a whole lot of adjectives to describe Mr Boston and his charm. Funny is by far the front runner in the adjective race.

Hello.
Hello may I speak with Mr. Boston?

Hey Quanda, how are you?
I am good, how are you?

I am good ...ah thanks for asking.
Well you know the drill. Tell me what you want all the readers at the 'Flavor of Love' Blogspot to know about 'I Love New York' Episode 5.

Ah ...well ...ah ...um I was happy to see Rico go. He was not the ah ...best from an entertainment perspective. As far as me honing in on the 12 Pack, Real fiasco ...ah I w-w-was expecting to walk in on a threesome (Onix recently mentioned this very same word. Men and their pornographic minds.) in progress. I gave them a solid hour before I interrupted. I walk in and they still have their tuxedos on. New York is in the ja-c-c-cuzzi with bikini on, rose petals all around. I realized they were doing an amazing job. 12 Pack and Real are stepping it up. They were bringing their A game. I go over to steal a kiss from New York and I accidentally drain the tub.

Accidentally?! I thought you were being soooo slick.
I-I-I know, I know but Quanda it was an accident. I am pretty glad it happened. It killed the mood. I was implementing my midnight strategy.

Midnight strategy?
Yes, ...ah Quanda see New York goes to bed around 1 or 2 a.m. So before she goes ...um to bed I prepared her a snack. Rico's fruit was pathetic. My strategy was to be the last one to see her before she turns in for the night. So ...ah when she went to sleep, she'd be thinking about me.

What did you make for her midnight snack?
Um ... ah quesadillas with ranch dressing. ( Hidden Valley Ranch must be raking in the $$$ with the gallons of dressing Weave -a- Beast devours.)

Quesadillas with ranch dressing, is that good?
Yes, it is really good. Tiffany taught me how to make it. I don't really know my w-w-way around the kitchen. But ...ah ...um I just throw tortillas and cheese in the microwave. And then I pour the dressing on top of it. It's really good Quanda.

(I can only imagine 5 star snacking.) Ummm... Mr Boston, I noticed you kissing New York again. Are you getting use to kissing her at this point?
I am ...ah enjoying making out with Tiffany by this time. I mean we have made out 3, 4, 5 times by this ...ah time. I am liking her huge full lips. I am actually noticing black chicks more and more.

You know what they say Mr. Boston ...once you go black you never go back.
That may be true, I am paying a lot more attention to the black ladies now.

On that note, did you take another look at my picture?
Ah yeah actually I did. You are attractive. I didn't have high expectations.

Wtf ...what do you mean you didn't have high expectations?
Your voice ...ah ...yeah your voice.

What about my voice?
You sound like an older woman like 5o or so.

50 or so?
Yeah, I'd say around 50. Ah Quanda look at it this way I ...ah could've said 60s or 70s. 50 ain't so bad. But your picture made up for it ...ah very nice.

I've lost my train of thought. ( This f@#%er said I sound old!) Um ...give me a moment to get it together. He laughs. Oh yeah, let's go back to the beginning of the show. How was it working out with 12 Pack?
I had never worked out in my life. There were all sorts of buff guys in the house working out. I figure I don't need to work out. I have personality and the Boston charm. 12 Pack woke me up at 7 a.m. , a little to early if you ask me. I figure I should listen to him, considering his buffness (This is not a word...sue him!) and all. You know when my head was moving side to side?

Yes.
Well that wasn't my nervous tick. I am doing bicep curls and flies and bugs are flying into my ears and nose. You would think the VH-1 producers would've given us bug spray.

I knoooow! What is up with those VH-1 producers? Oh, we have to touch on the V spot extras. What's up with the chapstick? You take my man's chapstick?
No Quanda. Whiteboy is always using chapstick like a girl. I don't know what happen to it. I offered him some of mine. I have a big jar of Vaseline. He just kept on yelling at me. He's a total tool. He can be nice sometimes.

Did you say jar of Vaseline?
Ah Quanda don't be thinking none of the homosexual stuff. I use it to moisturize my skin.

I burst into uncontrollable laughter. He laughs too.
I wasn't thinking anything of the sort. A lot of black people use Vaseline to moisturize their skin. I was wondering if you have any black ancestors?
Not that I know of. I doubt it.

Well there is a white family who discovered they were descendants of Thomas Jefferson. They weren't descendants of Martha either. Sally Hemings was their ancestor.
Oh yeah, I heard about that. Thomas Jefferson fathered all these kids with his slave. I could have a black ancestor or two. You never know.

At this time, my irritating daughter insists on asking him a question. I pass the question on to him and then I answer for him. She is banished out of my room. She can forget about that new Baby Phat outfit! The question was in regards to him really being attracted to New York and did he really go on the show for her. I answered for him knowing his previous answer. He added the following;

Recently I was in a club and a fella came up to me and asked how I could kiss that she-man.

F@#k, the damn Rottweiler mutt got into the house! Be right back! I wish the pit would make that mutt into a scooby snack. Where is my darn notebook? Okay we are back on track. Interruptions during the interview and now the type up are killing me!

Were you upset that Whiteboy won the date? And what are your thoughts on kissing New York?
Basketball in not my specialty. ( Could've fooled me!) I am not the most coordinated person. I gave it my best shot. I lasted 3 minutes with that Tamara Moore chick. Most guys only lasted a minute. Afterwards, I almost threw up. Tamara said I showed the most determination and that I should've won the date.

Really! You did try hard. I'll give you credit for that. In hindsight, I think you should've won too. The date was very traumatizing. I am scarred for life ...your thoughts on the date.
Whiteboy didn't talk a lot. He's too cool. He has this you have to impress me attitude. If that is his A game. I am not worried. New York told me I give the best kisses. ( There is something I want to type but if I do...my fan club will riot.)

I am really hurt. Well what's up with the Tango, Whiteboy beef?
Well Quanda, Whiteboy does have some positive qualities. He hangs out with Chance & Real most of the time. He is smooth with the ladies, 'The Master of Less is More' type of guy. He doesn't do too much. He has a certain mystique about him. You know he is a fellow Jew. And we get the job done for the ladies. ( I can't take too much more of this.) Tango has a good side. And he can be the most caring person in the world. The beef added a whole lot of entertainment value to the show. ( This picture is for Mai Tye. And she knows why! LOL.)

Alright, appease the hater in me. New York's body on the show vs. her body now, what's your honest opinion?
I don't understand. ... Ah ...um her body was perfect. I mean she had an awesome body. Ah h-h-her breasts where perfect, not too big ...ah not too small. Nothing was wrong with her body. Now her breasts look like a couple of hot air ballons. I mean if she plans on posing for Playboy, they'll be great for that sort of thing. I think they were a mistake. I don't want to be mean. I like Tiffany. She's gain a little weight, she's still the same person. By the way Quanda, you are going to enjoy Episode 6 a lot more that Episode 5. It's a lot of stuff happening and going on.

Will I? Well I hope so. Okay, back to me ... on a scale of 1 to 10, rate me.
Ah ...um I'd give you a solid 8.

An 8, that's pretty good. Thanks.
No problem Quanda.

Alright Mr. Boston talk to you soon.
Okay, bye.

You've just shared a Qmoment!