V-Spot Recap~ Hotel Shoot

We see Bret Michaels in the Rockfessional and he says, "Well let's just call this their first 15 minutes, check this out."

A quick camera scan of a hotel and then an attractive blond introducing herself as Pamela. (That hotel room looks very, very familiar.) Pam informs us she is from a suburb of Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. "I'll take any opportunity as it comes. And it sounds like so much fun. And this could be ya know potentially life changing. I mean what if we really hit it off and this is it? I mean I'm really outgoing. I like dancing and singing. ...I'll sing in the shower, out of the shower. I am not going to be like beating girls up. But I'll tell ya what we are going to have some problems, if they give me trouble. I've never pushed anyone before. But I might just have to pull their hair. I'm nervous that I'm going to have to go home tomorrow. And I'm gonna have to be, ' Like I'm home now'." (You think Pam went home because 51 Minds had enough singing in the shower from Krazy *coughs I mean Heather *coughs I mean Neveah *laughs Can we talk about premonitions?)

Next scene Big John is dropping the bomb. "I'm afraid to tell you your tour ends here." (He didn't look remotely afraid.) "Your bags are on top of the driveway."

On forward with Jessica who is a kooky blond. (Is kooky the right word?) The V-Spot viewer is treated to a plethora of expressions and poses. "Hi my name is Jessica. I'm from Chicago." She is asked if she ever been told she looks like Jessica Simpson. She says, "Yeah, I think it's funny. Because I don't see it. I don't really see it." (Me neither.) Anyhow, the dumb blond bit is so old and passe. Jessica shares with us that 9 out of 10 dates are boring. She yawns for special effect. The 51 Minds staff asks if she knows any blond jokes. She struggles to think of one. Then she offers to share a funny story instead. It turns out to be an arrest story. Apparently she got pulled over and had a warrant for her arrest. (In all fairness it could've been for an unpaid traffic violation ticket or for solicitation. Who knows?) Jessica had to call her mother for bail money. I believe she needed a $1000. Jessica does an imitation of her mother's reaction to her bail out request with a Southern drawl. "A thousand dollars are you crazy?! Do you know how many tables I had to dance on to get this?" (America is going to hell in a hand basket. And VH-1 it's all your fault!)

Keeping it moving, we see Jes who could very well be poised to remain in my top five. However, she deleted me as a friend on MySpace. I am not taking it personal because hell she doesn't know me. But my 'Rock of Love' fan feelings were a little crushed. I mean we are both licensed cosmetologists. Where is the love, Jes? She is also a bartender. She shares the following, "I am not one of those girls that is looking for a famous person just so I can be the arm candy. Ya know.... he's famous, he's famous...he's not, he's not no big deal. I literally shopped for about like 5 hours. I spent a lot of money. But I only brought one dress, oh and a skirt. A wrap thingy probably won't even wear it. It's too poofy." We also learn she's only gotten to smoke a half a cigarette. By the way, this pink & blond haired beauty is from you guessed it Chicago.

Tawny is the next 'Rock of Love' beauty up. Oh my God, I can't believe it. She isn't blond. Okay, okay she has blond highlights. Variety is the spice of life and I am happy to finally see a brunette. "My name's Tawny. I'm 28. And I'm a waitress. Nothings going on in my personal life, no boyfriend, not sex life, nothing. Like a said earlier to other people, I haven't had sex in months. So I'm a virgin again. I've noticed I've gotten b!tchier from I think lack of sex. And I don't know guys are just so stupid & idiotic. Boys are just toys now. It kind of makes it easier not to give it up when they're just dumb @sses. Like I've known I've gotten drunk. I've hit guys. But I've never hit girls. I liked to be controlled. I like a man to be a man. Ya know I liked to be man handled. Underwear, it's gross not to wear underwear. It is! Any girl's discharge that's gross. You don't want a girl with no underwear on. It's true. You know it." (Nine months isn't that long. I agree lack of sex will make some b!tchier.) *looks in mirror & flips self off

Back to the blonds, we see an implanted one on a bed. "My name is Erin. And I actually live in Chicago now. ...kind of picky, and I am having too much fun to be tied down right now, unless that one right guy comes around. And he hasn't yet. Hopefully I find him here."

51 Minds' staff, "Do you like to be tied down?"

"No. I don't liked to be tied down. I do not. ... Why? I don't like to be tied down. ....oh you... That could mean more than one thing, anyhow. I mean obviously who doesn't enjoy sex? But I definitely use it to my advantage, sexuality. And I do enjoy it. And I don't think there is anything wrong with that." (Oh but it's alright to call Heather a stripper whore when she made the most of her photo shoot with Bret. Hyprocrisy at it's finest.) *laughs out loud

Credit: VH-1's V-Spot

A hofessional Qmoment!