STOP... It's Heather Time

*Listening to MC Hammer's 'Can't Touch This', twirls and drops it to the ground and unable to lift it up....

Okay, excuse the loud cracking of my brittle old bones, please. (D@mn my @ss is heavy.) For all the sh!t I talk about New York, at least she can break it down. My old, ugly geriatric behind is broke down. "Mr. New York and Bhatti do Granny Q. a favor. Go run on over to the Piggly Wiggly and pick me up a pack of Depends and some Ben Gay. Bring me back my change, SSI ain't what it use to be." *Listening to T-Pain's 'Buy U A Drink' while sippin' gin & prune juice...


The Q. can't write about how anyone else is feeling or thinking. So I am limited to my own opinions and thoughts. (So sad, I know.)Anyhow I was thinking today; I am looking forward to the premiere of 'Rock of Love.' I am actually excited about this show. I mean it is up there with 'Flavor of Love' Season 2. July 15th isn't coming fast enough for me. There is nothing better than watching 20 attractive women compete for one man. Well almost, Onix and Whiteboy during the Mangeant on 'I Love New York' is pretty hard to beat. Oh and a pint of Ben & Jerry's Chunky Monkey is at the top of my list of guilty pleasures. Oh and I can't forget 'Law & Order SVU'. *sighs I am REALLY looking forward to a hot 'Rock God' Bret Michaels rockin' and lovin' his way through some hot chicks. On the subject of hot chicks, I noticed Heather from the casting tapes. (So did Legend, he loved her breasts.) I have to say Heather is as cool as an Alaskan breeze. She was kind enough to tell me a little about herself. Heather is a midwestern babe raised in a small town. She grew up with 5 stepbrothers. She is a self described tomboy with plants. (Think implants folks.) Heather loves country music, rock and R&B. She enjoys the outdoors and Harleys. She graduated from Ohio State University.This warm, friendly beauty put herself through college and has an associates in Arts and BA in Communications. Brains and beauty, I really want to strangle her. (I am a jealous cow, sue me.)

Heather has always wanted to be on television. (See kiddies dreams do come true.) So she made her way to the West Coast. However, there was a 5 year pit stop of sorts known as Las Vegas. While on the grind for a job and passing out resumes, she was constantly told to dance. (Dancing in Las Vegas sometimes means without clothes.) Heather said, "NEVER, I'm educated, natural ....blah, blah, blah." After a murder took place in front of her apartment and 75 shots (both of us love to exaggerate, really most likely 3), she started dancing. Days later, she moved to a nicer apartment. Heather is going to be labeled by some jealous cow a stripper. (Looks in mirror at jealous cow.) *Moos Her message to the VH-1 viewers "The 'Rock of Love' show is going to be bananas! Happy 4th of July be safe and have fun."

I want to know when Hef is going to get tired of bunnies and invite a cow. I want to have fun too. Heather please tell me you brought me a plate back from the Playboy Mansion. Please.....

An envious Qmoment!